SHOP LATE.

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere or Western Australia you should have a supermarket nearby that is open until at least 10pm. If this is the case, go grocery shopping as late as possible. a) There is like nobody there. b) You can get away with swiping bananas as carrots at self serve and last but by no means least, c) you can cop squid for super cheap, try $3.75 for 150g for instance AND in sweet chilli and basil marinade I might add.

 

WATCH MASTERCHEF ONLINE.

No ads. That is all.

 

YOUR HANDWASH CAN DOUBLE AS SHAMPOO.

It s not ideal but hey, it works.  What would you rather have? Greasy ass hair or hair that is slightly more difficult to manage? Greasy always loses people ALWAYS.

 

KEEP A CHANGE JAR.

Because before you know it, you'll have like $27.95 and you can cop some prawn rice paper rolls and a bottle of South Australia's finest (sort of) red wine and enjoy a little solo meal in front of Masterchef online.

 

HE WHO WAITS, MASTURBATES.

I don't even know why I said that.

 

GO TO THE GYM OR WALK OR GET OUTSIDE AND KICK UP SOME LEAVES AND JUMP IN PUDDLES IF YOU'RE THE WHIMSICAL SORT.

I don't really care what it is that floats your boat but get off the sofa OK?  I say it because I care.

 

BUY A GOLDFISH.

It's strangely satisfying and/or relaxing.

 

LOG OFF.

Bye. Again.