SORTING THE MEN FROM THE BOYS…
BOY: Will read the ‘to do’ list.
MAN: Knows what needs to be done.
BOY: Whining that you don’t have a condom and claim that skin on skin is so much better.
MAN: On realising that you don’t have a rubber you give your lady the head of her life, and she responds with immense gratitude.
BOY: Realising that you like a girl, so you flirt with her friend to make her jealous.
MAN: Realising that you like a girl, so you pick up the phone (not text) and ask her out.
BOY: Plays house.
MAN: Builds homes.
BOY: Drinking any form of alcho pop or any spirit diluted with so much soft drink you cant even taste it.
MAN: Anything on the rocks, or just your standard lager.
BOY: Has more muscle.
MAN: Has more vitality.
BOY: Discussing in detail with the lads the day after what she got up to in the sack.
MAN: Keeping the lip zipped and messaging her and thanking her for an enjoyable evening. Whether you intend to see her again or not.
BOY: Drifts aimlessly.
MAN: Aims at a goal.
BOY: Quoting lines from ‘Step Brothers’.
MAN: Quoting lines from ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’
BOY: Displaying any form, however mild, of homophobia.
MAN: Being that sure of his sexuality that he is able to befriend and hang out with a homosexual male.
MAN: Implements order.
BOY: Getting his woman to order for him and buy his underwear.
MAN: Taking control of ordering the wine and buying his own fucking underwear.
BOY: Won’t raise his own children.
MAN: Will raise his own and somebody else’s.
BOY: Glorifies his own efforts.
MAN: Celebrates results.
BOY: Fucks women.
MAN: Pleases women.
And that’s all I have to say about that x