Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway part 119

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  1. When you go to describe something as ‘amazing’ stop! Rethink and come up with an alternative word. To be amazed is to be astonished, to be bewildered with wonderment to be stupefied even!  Perhaps a sunset could be amazing or Beyonce can be amazing. Unless it is the size of your face and stuffed with rare solid gold cow meat that is edible on a bun made by nuns with each tiny sesame seed placed on top by hand with a tweezer then your hamburger, I’m sorry to say, is not amazing. Although I fear, much like the word ‘cunt’, that ‘amazing’ has lost its impact amongst our vocabulary. 
  2. Don’t get vex about ‘not being accepted’ because of your tattoos. It’s not like you got them to blend in. 
  3. Comfort eating has a bad reputation. Just make sure you go for a walk afterwards and drink plenty of fluids OK fatty? 
  4. Loneliness is often self inflicted and that is because we are searching for company in the wrong places or people. Often you need to accept where your support is coming from and embrace it. I will bet my last dollar that every one of us have a person wanting to be our friend and we are none the wiser. 
  5. Toxic Relationships: People will try to give advice and support for a while but if you insist on engaging in the poison then you will need to accept that you may be doing so alone. Toxins are contagious unfortunately. 
  6. Nervousness only comes when you feel out of your league. 
  7. If you are over 25 you should have a signature dish. It doesn’t have to be complicated or even that good or even AMAZING. It just needs to be something you can do well. A great caesar salad is better than a half assed roast dinner. 
  8. He’s not calling you because he doesn’t want to. Keep busy! Work hard, read, discover your signature dish just don’t become neurotic and depressed. 
  9. Often when you are in a bad mood it is because you are either tired or hungry or both. Look after yourself and the rest will follow. 
  10. Soy lattes are not tasty. I tried…I failed. Moooooooooooooo!

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