1. Now listen up! When you like something like say um, cheese. That does not mean that you need to suck the fucking life out of it. You don’t have to go out and buy cheese clothes and only listen to cheese music and cop a cheese iPhone cover and only ever listen to cheese and hang out with others who are equally as obsessed. You are going to get cheese fatigue and exhaust the very notion of it and before you know it, you will no longer be excited when you see a smattering of it on your pasta or alternatively, you will end up living in a cheese house and no one will ever visit you except for mice. Of course I am using cheese as a stand in for many other things I could have said and on that note…
  2. Nobody needs 457 pairs of sneakers.
  3. Remember to laugh at yourself because you are pretty hilarious.
  4. ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better’ – as someone once said.
  5. Be careful going around calling people a racist. A racist almost always has malicious intent. Usually, people are not racist. They are prejudice. And this prejudice is usually derived from somewhere, usually ignorance but also sometimes anger. That knee jerk reaction will just kick you in the face.
  6. Who likes drugs?! Go easy on them, OK? It is the element of danger that makes them so much fun but be aware that, that element is there.
  7. If you use your phone while you are in the bath or eat soup while you are on your computer you are basically begging the world to fuck with you.
  8. Quit harping on about ‘being humble’ and ‘feeling inspired’ and actually act like you have some fucking humility and show that you’ve been inspired! Actions speak louder than words! Do you kids just ignore all the cliches these days? Is that where we’re at?
  9. He isn’t calling, texting, facebook messaging, emailing, liking your instagram photos, liking your facebook photos, retweeting you, @’ing you or acknowledging your ‘online presence’ because he DOES NOT WANT TO. Move on please. Just.move.the.fuck.on.
  10. How about you have a real life conversation with a friend and you both keep your phones in your bag for one whole hour?

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