THE ONLY WAY TO EAT A STEAK IS MEDIUM RARE – Why have it so bloody that it looks as though it has yet to go through rigor mortis? And well done is just silly.
‘FAKE BLOOD’ IS DROPPING THE PHATEST REMIXES OF LATE – Yes. That was fat with a p and an h. I’m just gonna say it…he could be the new Soulwax for me. It’s love people.
IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 24 YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS GETTING FRISKY WITH TEENAGERS – They make look tight, but let them be young and keep your jaded over experienced paws to someone your own age.
DON’T THINK YOU CAN HAVE MEANINGLESS SEX WITH FRIENDS … – It’s NEVER meaningless.
DON’T FLIRT WITH HIS FRIENDS – It makes him angry and it makes you look like a hussy. Why make your life any more dramatic than it needs to be?
IF YOU DON’T WASH YOUR CEREAL BOWL AS SOON AS YOU ARE FINISHED, YOUR CORNFLAKES WILL SET DIAMOND HARD TO THE SIDE – And those suckers are never coming off. So don’t be dirty whore and wash your bloody dishes.
Wow…it’s almost Christmas guys…I feel a special edition coming on…xx