THE ODD DRESS UP/ROLE PLAY GOES DOWN A TREAT – Please note: The nurse/police/air steward outfit is for bedroom only…NOT Halloween. But then again, these are all predictable and obvious. Rather use your imagination and get involved in something he enjoys. Like if he enjoys Star Wars, get all Princess Leia on his ass or if he is a massive baseball fan, wear nothing but his favourite team’s jumper with slutty underwear underneath, plus the possibilities for the bat are endless.
YOU CAN’T GET ANGRY ‘CAUSE HE HAS A BIT OF PORN ON HIS PHONE – It’s only natural. Get involved! Send him a ‘self made’ video. (only if you are in a long term COMMITTED relationship, else this could end in tears). I understand getting upset if he swears against the stuff yet he turns out to be a sneaky porn squirrel, or if he has a video of a woman getting hammered by a horse…well, actually that’s not TOO bad. I’m kidding! Geez.
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THE MUSIC, DOESN’T MEAN IT’S SHIT – For example, I actually cannot listen to metal for more than 2.75 seconds. It’s not my personal taste, yet I acknowledge that they are probs talented musicians and their sounds matter to a whole bunch of people. And while we’re on the subject, just because you are into the most obscure, weirdo sounding beats, does mean you have epic taste in music. The end.
YOU KNOW THAT IDEA YOU HAVE? – Put it into production. Talk is cheap mother fucker.
IF HE DOESN’T ASK FOR YOUR PHONE NUMBER, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT IT – This sad little fact is brutal but oh so true
YOU KNOW THOSE LONELY NIGHTS? – Read a book, phone a friend, watch Gossip Girl, write, masturbate, go for a walk, bake banana bread buy increds things on ebay just DON’T FUCKING MESSAGE OR CALL HIM!!!!!!!
Or you could even read older posts of Obnoxious Owl 😉 xx