HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? – What do you mean you don’t know? These are one of the questions one needs to know the answer to in order to realise and define your personality. It goes along with your favourite colour, what kind of music you like to listen to and how you take your coffee. Being indifferent makes you neither here nor there which makes you beige. FYI – I like mine scrambled with spinach and feta.
HEY! STYLE BITERS! (THOSE THAT BITE OTHER PEOPLES STYLE AND PASS IT OFF AS THEIR OWN) – Get a clue.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN A PEARL NECKLACE – Oh get your mind outta the gutter. I know you would assume that’s what I’m referring to as I am the Owl…but don’t. I actually mean a string of lustrous little beads – it’s a classic. They are particularly dope worn with a blouse tucked in a pair of well fitted jeans, with a black blazer and a pair of conny’s. (But you really should let him blow his load on your chest sometimes – FYI)
THE POWER YOU WILL FEEL WHEN YOU FINALLY TURN THE SUCKER DOWN WHO HAS BEEN FUCKING YOU ABOUT FOR AAAGGGEEESSS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A NEW BROAD – Believe.
MIX UP YOUR DRINKING VESSELS – I actually took inspiration for this from a friend (thanks Beck) when she told me she drinks her banana smoothie out of a 1950’s wide brimmed champagne glass every morning. How chic! To be honest, I’ve often thought of this. Like how beautifully dodgy is it to drink cheap wine outta coffee mugs? How grown up do you feel when you sip your OJ from a martini glass? The possibilities are really quite infinite.
CHINESE TAKE AWAY DOES NOT ALL HAVE TO BE MSG – Next time, order the crispy duck with pancakes, shredded cucumber and spring onion. DON’T forget the MSG riddled plum sauce. Your welcome.
PLAY IT COOL – Except in bed. Keep that shit searing hot.