Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part 57

JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT AND DON’T SAY IT, DOESN’T MAKE YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE – The trick is to fight the urge and try to become a better person. Yeah. I laughed when I wrote that.
DON’T CHEAT – It’s a cunty thing to do. And don’t blame others when you get caught either. With every action there is a reaction … and all that jazz.
IF YOUR PEE IS BRIGHT YELLOW YOU NEED MORE WATER – Neon piss ain’t healthy yo!
DON’T BURN THE FANNY PACK – You bastards will all be wearing one in 6 months, and I’ll have moved on to bigger and better things…like a wrist bag for example.
YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT YOU THINK WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU? – Well it will. I almost guarantee that you will drop your phone down the toilet.
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR IPHONE – It is so yawn right now. Hell, if I didn’t sport gangsta nails I too would be down with the touch screen and all it’s fancy technological baubles.
PARTY WHILE YOU CAN – Plenty of time for nanna naps and being boring i.e. when you’re dead, or shortly before you die, like when you smell of urine and moth balls.
IF YOU ARE MISERABLE AND YOU ARE AT A PARTY, THEN GO HOME – Sleep it off. Don’t piss on everyone else’s parade.
Wow, how chirpy am I after my trip to blighty?!
x

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