Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part 61

DUDE, PRACTISE YOUR SEX FACE IN THE MIRROR

Nobody wants to be fucking the scary dude in the white mask from ‘Scream’.  Just be aware is all I’m sayin.

SIGN UP TO SOME KIND OF AIR MILE PROGRAMME

Don’t you like free things or something?  What the hell is wrong with you?

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE TWO FAVOURITE MOVIES

One for when you need some down time and its a secret guilty pleasure, like Clueless or something and another that will make you sound more interesting and impressive…’Shawshank Redemption’ is a good one.  Most go for that…now that I’ve said it, you’ll notice it.

DO NOT ORDER A CAESAR SALAD ON THE FIRST DATE

That shit is difficult to eat and look cool at the same time.  Then again, all that white dressing all over your face could get him in the mood to um, dress your face.  Depends where you want the night to go I guess…

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY ANSWER THE UNKNOWN NUMBERS

It doesn’t always have to be bad! What if some hot dude saw you once, managed to track down your digits via the interweb/mutual acquaintances/outright stalking and took DAYS to build up the courage to ring you and then you just let that shit go to voicemail?  OK, the likelihood of that is minimal but it COULD happen.  It probs is Synergy ringing you about your bill…so just pay your fucking bill already.  Or at least arrange a time to pay it…they will totes let you.

 

RIDE HIM LIKE IT’S FOR SALE

…and you need to pay your electricity bill.

 

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