KICK IT OLD SCHOOL AND GET YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DEVELOPED
And make real life actual albums! And remember, snaps of your holiday are only interesting to YOU…much like your dreams. Trim the fat on the boring blow by blow details…i.e. ‘This is us waiting for a cab’ and ‘This is us in a cab’ – don’t beige others to tears please.
IT SHOULDN’T HURT WHEN HE FUCKS YOU
I mean sometimes it might, like if he has an unusually large dick for example…but then…how often does that happen? Exactly. It may hurt slightly if you haven’t had a wee and you have a full bladder. But generally it should feel pretty wonderful. You know your own body girl, so you know if something is a little ‘off’, ya know? Sort it out.
REMEMBER: WIPE FRONT TO BACK
Can’t believe I have to tell you this shit.
YOU DID NOT COME UP WITH YOUR STYLE ALL ON YOUR OWN
You KNOW you took inspo from mags/movies/music vids/people on the street. Don’t be claiming shit that ain’t yours then get angrified when people take inspiration from YOU. If you have mad style, then people will copy. The trick is to keep it fresh…and hard to keep up with. People can tell whether its original or not…belee dat.
FACEBOOK CHAT IS RUBBISH FOR SEX CHAT
It has technological AIDS. Skype is way better…do not underestimate the ‘muscle man’ emoticon and the never fail ‘horny devil’. For instance.
YES CONVERSE DO MAKE YOUR FEET LOOK SLIGHTLY LONGER
But everyone knows they do, so its not like everyone is gonna think that you have canoes for feet, you get me?
SOMETIMES, IN A WORLD FULL OF SOCIAL NETWORKS, TEXTING GAMES, TO ‘X’ OR NOT TO ‘X’ AND GENERAL MODERN PARAPHERNALIA, YOU GOTS TO KEEP THE DATING GAME CLASSIC IF YOU REALLY LIKE THE PERSON
i.e. Don’t fuck on the first date. Wrist jobs are ok though.
Up the bum means no babies xx