DON’T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR ROOM MATE
It never ever ever works out. It is awkward and you will feel weird afterwards. If there is sexual tension…well, its the tension that is making things work. The minute you bang each other, the tension is gone and there is nothing left to thrive on except awkwardness. Plus the sex is never that good, and you feel like you do after your New Years Eve party…underwhelmed.
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY STILL EATING WHITE BREAD OVER BROWN?
At LEAST get the seeded white. Eating white bread is the equivalent to eating candy floss i.e nutritional value is zero. Turkish bread and sour dough is another matter, I’m not talking about that. It’s the plastic, pre-sliced fuck show that I speak of. Sort it out love, if not for yourself then do it for your colon for fucks sake.
HAVE SEX IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR CAR
It’s so retro! And the whole steamy window thing is pretty hot. Just don’t get jizz on the upholstery, that stuff sticks like wallpaper paste. Flatten the front seats as well…be clever about it.
KEEP YOUR KICKS FRESH
You can be wearing $200 dollar jeans, have your hair done, nails did, but if your shoes look like two rottweilers had a fight over them and then when they were done pissed all over them you will just look like an um, dogs dinner.
TOSS HIS SALAD
If fella is clean and enjoys good hygiene then I don’t see what the problem is with licking his asshole. Jus sayin.
TATTOOS TATTOOS TATTOOS
Whatever. They’re cool…just chew on it for a bit yeah? Your choice says alot about you.
WHEN YOU START A SENTENCE WITH ‘I LOVE (insert name) BUT…’
It is still gossip. You just do it to feel less guilty. *sigh* but we all do it innit?
Me love you long time x