PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE FACEBOOK ARE WEIRD
I mean, yeah…talk to them and stuff, but don’t make eye contact.
DO NOT TEXT/FACEBOOK/TWEET DURING A MOVIE
You should get a life…they’re nice.
FURTHERMORE, IT’S RUDE TO DO THOSE THINGS DURING DINNER…ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S JUST TWO OF YOU
Hey man, I’m all for social networking, but for fucks sake if one thing does not go out of fashion, it’s manners.
THERE IS BEING A FOOD ECCENTRIC, THEN THERE IS BEING A FUCKING ATTENTION SEEKER
Like not liking olives or anchovies is pretty popular, that’s cool. Ordering a burger with no tomato or not enjoying red meat is all fine. But then only liking mushrooms if they cut up real small, or taking your own food to a dinner party and asking them to warm it up is just plain wack. Sort yourself out.
HIRING LIMOS ARE TACKIER THAN A THEMED WEDDING
Don’t even get me STARTED on hummer limos.
A PHONE CALL AFTER 10PM ON THE WEEKEND, OR ANY NIGHT ACTUALLY, BUT MAINLY THE WEEKEND, MEANS THAT HE THINKS THE USELESS PIECE OF SKIN AROUND YOUR PUSSY IS YOU
Unless of course you already know this and you don’t mind then by all means, take that call.
IT’S TOTALLY OK TO NOT BE AN ANIMAL PERSON
It’s not cool to be cruel though. Fuck I ain’t no dog whisperer, but I know not to blow in their faces.
WHEN LIFE IS TAKING A DUMP ON YOUR HEAD, REMEMBER: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE