Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 79



THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TANNING TOPLESS ON THE BEACH 

Although I will say that you should probably be a little respectful if there is a family nearby with kids.  Kids will point and stare and then the parents feel awkward, and the Dad won’t know where to put his fucking face.  Also watch out for old people, you don’t wanna be causing early heart failures now do you?

 

CHOOSE YOUR TWITTER AVATAR AND FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE WISELY 

What if the person of your dreams decides to follow you and catches you on a mutual page and you thought it would be LOLz to put the picture up of you passed out drunk in the flower bed and someone had drawn a massive cock on your cheek? And why for the love of Muhammad would you use the pic someone did of you on their iPhone with that app that makes you fat? Don’t you like having sex?

 

IF THERE IS A GIRL IN YOUR GROUP WHO HARDLY EVER TALKS OR HANGS WITH THE GIRLS AND IS ALWAYS WITH THE GUYS SHE WILL PROBABLY FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND 

I’m just saying.  These bitches are sneaky sausages and want a slice of your man.

 

WILL YOU PLEASE REMOVE THAT NASTY ASS CHIPPED NAIL VARNISH OFF YOUR TOES!!! 

Chipped varnish on your finger nails can look ‘rock starry’ or ‘edgy’ if you prefer that word. But on the toes you look like hooker hookity hook hook…ESPESH when you wear peep toe shoes. Just please sort that shit out.

 

STOP TRYNA ‘OWN’ SHIT 

Like if you decide you suddenly love 90’s RNB, a new slang term you learnt off UrbanDictionary  or wearing stripes – it dun mean you are the Queen of all things RNB, crap words and stripey stuff! Hello and good evening you did not invent that shit.

 

DON’T JUST BE LICKING ANY DUDES ASSHOLE

They all love it. Most will ask for it. But for Gods sake, have your limitations. If they want it they can put a er….ring on it :-/

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