Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 81



BACK UP AND DOUBLE CHECK

I’m talking about insurance here people. This ‘ere blog was deleted by a little SPAM ‘c’ word and I nearly had a heart attack. Not because of it disappearing, I mean, I can always start again, but more so because nothing I have ever written on here had been saved. God I’m a knob end. ANYWAY it’ back now and I’m backing up. But the theme continues…ensure your expensive possessions, lock up your bike, lock your front door and take out private health. I’m not saying become a neurotic control freak, I’m just saying that storms are inevitable, and you should always be prepared.

 

IF YOUR FRIEND MAKES NO COMMENT ON YOUR OUTFIT, IT PROBABLY MEANS YOU LOOK BANGING 

Insecurity in females will be the death of us. We have our own to deal with and to keep in line so it doesn’t turn us into spiteful little bitches…you can’t be worrying about others.

 

GET OFF YOUR PHONE !!!

Or at least pretend to be offline and give the illusion that you have a life.

 

IT’S KIND TO NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF HIM FAILING TO GET A HARD ON

Fuck man. They have it tough. They’ve been drinking and doing God knows what else and that really does affect their ability to become Iron Man.  Just be understanding and don’t make a big deal about it. Give him a massage, touch yourself in front of him, get him to talk filth while you do it…help him to forget about it. It’s the only way old mate Woody is gonna make an appearance. Failing that, maybe tie it to a stick like some people do to wilting plants? Just a suggestion.

 

RED WINE AFTER DRINKING SPIRITS AND/OR BEER WILL MAKE YOU THROW YOUR GUTS UP 

FACT. I don’t need to say much more on the subject.

 

THE MINUTE YOU FIND YOURSELF BECOMING THE PERSON YOU HATE AROUND SOMEBODY, GET RID

Do you usually have your shit together but around certain boys you feel needy and anxious? He ain’t good for you honey.  Do you leave the company of some girls feeling like a dirty gossip mouth and on a one way ticket no stop over to Hell? Pick a new crowd.

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