- You never feel self concious around them. This stems from not being afraid of being judged...because let's be honest, we all fear being judged. Even when people go, 'I don't give a fuck, I do what I want' - they actually fear it the most because they need to make such a grand gesture about NOT fearing it, you feel me? It's ironic that when we are at our weakest, our lowest, our most worthless selves and when we need people the most, we shy away from others and hide. Because everyday is a struggle to live up to the person you have created and not the person you are. Some people see that person (not many) and those guys are real. Whoah....that's like so deep man!
- On a lighter note, a true friend will allow it when you take selfies and will also oblige in taking outfit shots and try to capture you at your most flattering and put a dope filter on it.
- A true friend WILL NOT and I repeat W.I.L.L - N.O.T upload a photo of you looking shit. This is also a bit of a grey area, because we have warped perceptions of ourselves, so some photos where we think we look wack we actually look kinda tight to everyone else so a true friend will KNOW which photos you will approve and which you won't so much. Although sometimes they may need to over ride a decision that you may thank them for later. This is not a petty subject! I have witnessed friendships evaporate over this shit.
- They will hold you hair back and rub your back when you vomit. But in all seriousness, you should have outgrown this by now. Still, if it were to happen they would be there.
- They will never creep on the dude you fancy EVEN if there is no way in Hell you stand the slightest chance with him, they will respect your dibs. However, if YOU were a true friend and you saw that they had chemistry, you would not stand in the way of fate. Friendship is push and pull people. But we all have THAT friend that only starts finding someone to be attractive once you've called it. Yeah, THOSE guys are not pals.
- You will never be on a 3 strikes and you're out system with a true friend. They would never wash their hands of you if you keep fucking up. But again, the give and take factor plays a massive role here. You do not want to be keep fucking up and expecting tea and sympathy because that, my friend, is taking the piss.
- They will 'like' your FB updates and instagram photos even if they're boring. And on this note, they'll tell you if you're being boring. They will also tell you when to pull your head in.
- You will generally feel good about yourself around a real friend. You will feel challenged (in a good way) because they will expect you to be the best YOU that you can be. You will feel inspired and most of all, you will feel safe.
- You will laugh.
- You will cry.
- You will dance.
- You will never, ever, ever feel used. Not even once. Not even for half a second.
- You will subconsciously strive to become a better human.
- You will never hear something they have said about you before you have heard it from them.
- They won't ditch you. And those who have been ditched will know what I mean. Ditch rhymes with bitch innit?
- They won't compete. If you have a mate who is always LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!' You know they are never looking at you, unless it's up and down and when you're not looking.
- A true amigo will not lure you into a false sense of security so that you share your secrets which they can exploit later.
- The following things only exist in pseudo friendships/friendships for the world to see and not the ones that are treasured: 1) constant messages and youtube videos left on facebook walls with 'I love you so much, you're such a good friend blah blah blah' when you live in the same city. Who you trying to convince? 2) matching outfits/tattoos/opinions - this reeks of insecurity. 3) doing everything together, everyday with no one else but each other. So unhealthy! Have other friends! Have different experiences! Otherwise, what have you got to talk about? 4) Being 'married' on facebook. 5) I was going to mention another social network friendship that doesn't translate into real life example here but you get the picture.
- And then there is you. You are the person you attract. Shit attracts flies. You don't want to be a needy charity case. You want to be a human being that experiences ups and downs, highs and lows, assholes and babes...someone going through life basically. And in this life, you need some witnesses. Otherwise, who will say nice stuff at your wedding/funeral/behind your back? To have a friend is to be a friend. Now think hard about who fits in with what I've said. Can you think of one? You're lucky. Hold tight.
30/04/2012
SHE RUNS THE NIGHT by NIKE
Well...I don't...even thought I should considering the weekend I've just had. It's Anna Lunoe who is going to be doing it and a whole bunch of other motivated ladies. Maybe even you?
25/04/2012
CARBON KICKS OFF TONIGHT!
I'm on my way out to catch the first side event but I thought I'd better fill you all in as to what I will be up to over the next 5 days (as I know you have all probably been biting your nails with curiosity). Tonight RICKY POWELL is treating us to a slide show of his work at 1000 £ BEND (cinema) on Little Lonsdale Street in Melbourne City, which is going to be narrated by the man himself. Not a bad little Wednesday night if you ask me! Even if it is pissing it down outside.
Then tomorrow night at RTIST Gallery I'm going to this...
Yup, artist and one of the headline speakers at CARBON, Faith 47 along with husband DALeast have their own show happening. She is also an old friend of mine from Cape Town so I am extra excited. It's nice to have some ZEF around town for a change.
Then the weekend is CARBON itself? Don' t know what it is? WELL EDUCATE YOURSELF. Tickets are selling fast and I think the Sunday is almost sold out so get a hustle on yo!
Needless to say the booze is gonna be flowing but I REFUSE to sucked in. REFUSE! Last weekend I threw up all over my Versace (esque) shirt and let's just say it was a lesson learnt. So here's to a busy yet sober next few days.
And I'm off! x
24/04/2012
I THINK SHE READY
IGGY AZALEA whether you like it or not represents you 1st world white girls who are into rap. Suck it up. You can debate it all you want, but most of you who sat in your pretty bedrooms in white suburban areas listening to Tupac and Dre and who have never experienced 'the hood' and would probably fear for your life at a 'real hip hop' gig need to embrace Iggy. She is one of you.
And that's just my 5 cents.
23/04/2012
OBNOXIOUS OWL and ACCLAIM MAGAZINE
FOR BOYS ONLY
WE DO NOT WAKE UP LOOKING LIKE THIS.
I feel like you have this notion that Scarlett Johansson and Katie Perry wake up looking like they have no pores, have zero body hair and don't indulge in the wonderment that is control underwear...WELL YOU'RE WRONG. They do. And they do it hard. Honey, you lot actually have no idea of how much of this shit is smoke and mirrors hey. Don't get me wrong, to build a fancy house you need a solid foundation. All I'm saying, is that you need to keep your expectations in check OK?
EMOTICONS.
I've told you once and I'll tell you again, if you over use smiley faces then I am here to tell you that you're gay.
WE READ BETWEEN THE LINES.
It's just what we do. I know I know, it ruins everything. But fuck man, we just can't help it. That's why you have to be straight with us. I know you would rather circumcise yourself with a flick knife than hurt a girls feelings which ends up making you feel like the bad guy, but it's in her best interest. She will see it that way eventually.
AND ON THE OTHER HAND...
If you get that she may be into you and you may be feeling somewhat similar, throw her a God damn bone. She reads between the lines, not crystal balls.
I AM ACTUALLY RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO SAY.
I think my work here is done.
22/04/2012
M.I.A and SPIKE JONZE
I only realized today that I have never posted this. Spike Jonze spent a day with M.I.A when she was just starting out. I've had this in my bookmarks for ages and have been meaning to post and so seeing as I intended to post something tonight and just throwing up a youtube vid is a lazy way of blogging but hey, I am going through a hangover right now that would make Courtney Love's eye water so you can just suck it. There are 6 parts to this vid, I'm posting the first and you can figure out the rest because I know you are all pretty clever.
Good night!
Love The Grumpy Owl x
