It’s a breakup because it’s broken


There is no right or wrong and nothing about it is easy. It’s like cracking and separating an egg.  You crack the shell (your heart) and tip the egg whites to and fro (your relationship) and try to hold on to the yolk (your pride) – Some of the shell may get caught amongst the whites, but that is easily lifted out … it just takes time.  A bit of the yolk might creep in there too…but that’s only if you let it.  Am I making sense?  If not read it again, because it’s a perfect analogy.  What I’m saying is, is that these situations are hard … but try to get out of it with some dignity.


Oh God, fucking facebook and it’s fucking “blah di blah is now single” bullshit.  Just don’t change your status, just choose to hide it.  Believe me, all the little critters come out to play when relationships end…they wanna know the who’s whys and what’s.  It’s inevitable and we are all guilty of being nosy parkers.  But break ups are private, tell people what they need to know and leave it at that.  Don’t keep it to yourself, as that only leads to assumptions and rumors.  Ah, what would life be without a bit of A and R hey?


Exhibit A

Relationships are weird … I get the ‘not wanting to die alone’ thing and ‘sex on tap’ can’t be bad either.  But having been in a long term relasho myself and then going through the searing white hot pain of a break up a few years back,  I came out of it with new perspective on the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

It kinda scared me how I put all my eggs in one big relationship basket (eggs again).  I didn’t just lose the man I loved, I lost my apartment, the country I lived in because I decided to move away and a fair few amount of DVD’s.  But these things are material and retrievable, what I found I lost the most was a sense of self.  I never typed a single word in the 6 years I was with him, I attended hardly any gigs or festivals and I never really wore whatever I wanted.  I’m not blaming him by any means, he was a sweetheart…nobody is to blame really.

What I learnt was the importance of having a strong hold on your identity.  You are your own best friend and you can even be your own lover (take it from someone who nearly gave herself carpal tunnel once)  – finding your ‘soulmate’ is bullshit.  What the fuck is a soulmate anyway?  What if you never find this bloody soul twin?  You die unhappy and unfulfilled?  Watching people around me get into relationships is always heart warming at the start…then it gets weird.  Hey, maybe I am being a bitter cynic…but I just think it’s dangerous to think of the single you as some kind of dress rehearsal, or that you are sitting on the ‘life reserve bench’ until someone ‘saves’ you from being left on the shelf.  I hate to sound all Oprah on your ass, but you really need to sort the relationship with yourself.  You are Beyonce, and you need a Jay Z.  Someone who supports your dreams  and respects your wants.  Someone who lets you express your creativity in whichever manner you please and has loads of money and a MONSTER black cock….woops, did I say that out loud?

I think the term ‘break up’ should be changed to ‘shake up’

6 Comments on It’s a breakup because it’s broken

  1. you always seem to write stuff like this right when i am going through a shitty time. thanks for reminding me to keep my head up 😉 xxx <3

  2. here here Tamsworth, you got it in one. I have been finding more and more enjoyment out of being single than i ever did in a relationship (as fun as it was – it came with a lot of shit) and now I can choose what i want in my life and its perfect. You are my inspiration to have a relationship with myself – your the only god damn woman that I know who has done it and done it well. men are fun to rent – but I am not looking to invest anytime soon x big love

  3. best post to date ? truly moving tammy, the last couple of paragraphs are bang on-point.

  4. Bri: Ah pet, thank you. But it does take a while! Patience mami xx

    Gracie: :) x

  5. Anonymous // 2010-10-15 at 12:39 AM // Reply

    I would 100% agree. I went through a breakup. I lost my house and people who I would consider family. I lost clothes, and gained a sense of my self. So I did everything I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it. And I feel amazing, every day.
    And thanks to losing my house, I moved in with my dad, and moving in with my dad meant that I actually had a relationship with him, which meant I got my own family back. Relationships are unnecessary, I have myself, and I'm my own best date (I took myself to a movie and dinner on Valentines Day)

  6. Bam! Independence is the new black x

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