… the dude you’ve been talking to starts talking to the girl you utterly can’t stand? Doesn’t he KNOW she is a mole?
… people who do nothing but watch Masterchef and stay at home criticize your efforts or hobbies? Yeah, they might be a better writer/DJ/dress better/musician/photographer than you, but we’ll never know because they sit on their ass all day. Don’t hate the playa’s lazy ass.
… you’re at a banging party, but you’re stuck with a girl who is crying in the bathroom? FFS! Could you please go have your emotional breakdown in the comfort of your own home, or at the top of a high rise building somewhere? I wanna dance and flirt with boys!
… you specifically ask for ‘no olives’ and the fuckwit throws them on your pizza like it’s some kinda Italian confetti? You wanna piece of me?
… Britney Spears has another meltdown? Bitch get it together please.
… you have a sneaky suspicion someone on twitter is being mildly sarcastic about you to someone else? You kinda have a hunch, but you can’t be sure, so you get a mixture of paranoia and annoyance about feeling paranoid? ‘I don’t wanna care but I do!!!’
… you catch yourself humming along to Justin Bieber?