TAKE MY ADVICE…I DON’T USE IT ANYWAY HOMME PART 38

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FOR BOYS ONLY

 

SAY NO TO HEAD AND SHOULDER SELFIES 

With every instagram, a little self photography must come and that is just fine if you are doing an outfit capture in the mirror or if a girl asks you to flip her something but no self respecting straight man takes a photo of his face after he has just woken up with the hashtags #sleepy or #bedhair or #feelingbored etc. Vanity in men is rather unbecoming.

 

CUT YOUR GOD DAMN FINGERNAILS 

I’m not saying take your man bag down to the nearest nail salon and get yo nails did, I am merely saying that a little self grooming would not go amiss.

 

STOP DELAYING YOUR ORGASM 

It is just plain manners to allow us to get off first and that is all fine and dandy but when we have come like 3 times and we’re tired and just want to chill but you have somehow managed to trick your body into thinking you have popped some viagra well…that is just plain greedy.

 

BOOTCUT JEANS…

Not even women wear them anymore to be honest. Well, no chick who reads this blog anyway.  Chill out dickhead, no one is asking you to wear skinny jeans! There are alternatives, you know. At the last sensus, 97% of women agreed that they would never fuck a man wearing bootcut jeans. Or ironic t-shirts.

 

WHAT IS CHEATING?

Doing something intimate that is usually reserved for your girlfriend. Such as sex (obvs), sexting, having secret rendezvous even if nothing physical goes down…why are they secret? All of that is cheating. Anything else is just kind of inappropriate but hey, you’re a clever guy…you know whats up.

 

BUT THEN ON THE OTHER HAND…

We all have friends from the opposite sex and these friendships may take some strain when one of you partners up but this is where understanding, respect and common sense is expected from all parties involved. Relashos are about collaborating NOT entwining.

 

SOME THINGS THAT YOU THINK MAY BE OLD FASHIONED ARE REALLY JUST CLASSIC…

Such as buying her flowers, taking her out for nice dinners so that she can get dressed up! Girls love opportunities to look cute and they feel proud to be on your arm when they know you are proud of them.  Also, I think you know how much effort goes into looking like we do because you have seen first hand that we dun wake up looking like this. Belee dat.

 

 

1 Comment on TAKE MY ADVICE…I DON’T USE IT ANYWAY HOMME PART 38

  1. i just made my boyfriend read this. he got an extra kick via the delayed o’s (which he is always. fucking. guilty. of)

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