OK, so I’m just gonna say it from the start. This is a blog about blow jobs. Now I have to be careful here because my dear mother reads my blog entries. But I did dish out some advice in an earlier entry advising that you should learn to give decent head in order to be somewhat in power. I also then realised that this made me sound like some kind of connoisseur which it in fact…it does. Kidding kidding, look I’m no expert on the subject of fellatio but I do think I might know a thing or two, as a lady who has had very few complaints. Ehrm, OK maybe a few. Geez, this is awkward. Look I’m only writing this ’cause you lot asked me to OK?
OK … here goes …
Keep your hair out of your face and keep looking up at him – they love this.
EASY DOES IT
When I say ‘easy’ I mean ‘go slow’ not BE easy, because this kind of act should only be dished out to those that are entitled to the privilege. And ladies…it IS a privilege.
USE YOUR HANDS WISELY
Be careful when introducing your hands with your um, mouth because you could be calling curtain at a very early stage.
WATCH OUT FOR FRICTION
I’m only going to ever say this once, but a good dose of um…spit…goes along way. I’m just saying.
WATCH THE CHOMPERS
Yeah ladies…teeth. Most girls wrap their lips around their teeth to protect the gentleman, but all that does is it creates a hard ridge. Just shield your bottom teeth with your tongue and open your mouth as wide as possible so that your top teeth stay clear. Ehrm, can’t believe I just wrote that.
DON’T FORGET THE UM, SCROTUM
They love it, they really do. Look that’s all I’m saying on the subject.
Yes yes yes, this hasn’t been the most insightful bit of information I admit. And I don’t want to come off as a some kind of harlot, I’m just tryna help a sister out OK?