S – is for SEX.
Sozz. Nothing wack here…just plain old sex. I have kind of dug my own hole regarding this blog, because now I have created this online persona of being some kind of sex expert. I most certainly am not. I just know what I like and I know what I don’t. And I am just a regular girl, so if I feel this way, then I know others do and because no matter how many times Lady Gaga dances in her underwear, or Carrie Bradshaw type shows there are, it is still taboo for women to talk openly and honestly about it. But then men can just open their little blow horns about it all they want and they aren’t pegged as ‘shocking’ or ‘inappropraite’. Bite me.
T – is for TOYS.
Embrace them. Be adventurous with them. Collect them. Don’t be scared of them. CLEAN THEM.
U – is for UTI’s.
Imma tell you this once and that’s it. The fuck show that is the UTI can all be avoided if you a) pop a cranberry tab after sexy times b) have a wee wee c) don’t let him put it in your foo foo after your poo poo. Failing these three things means you will be pissing razor blades for a solid amount of time. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.
V – is for VAGINA.
Look after yours. Wax her. Wash her. Keep her entertained. She’s a person too and we don’t want her getting all depressed. Only let interesting, thoughtful penis’s visit her and keep it tight.
W – is for WANK.
Do it on the reg. If you don’t know what you like, then the other person won’t know what you like. WANK WANK WANKITY WANK X