X – is for XXX.
Triple X. Adult films. PORN. Remember when people use to call them ‘blue movies’? WHY? Can someone share some light on this please? Anyway. We have come a long way in regards to this issue. Gone are the days where you had to sheepishly grab your brown paper bag off the counter and hope you didn’t run into your nan when you left the shop. Our ever faithful, ever loyal old mate the internet has sorted that right out. I don’t know about you, but I reckon when you are in the mood for ‘a bit of blue’ then you need it there and then. Sod going down the shops and feeling like a pervert. HELLO YOUPORN.COM! Porn is fun! It’s even more fun watching it with someone else. Although I must say, you do want to go easy on it because it can make the ‘normal’ stuff start losing its effect and turn you jaded. Like before you know it you might find yourself typing ‘amateur on casting couch forced into fisting’. For instance.
Y – is for YELLING.
This is actually a stand in of a word for moaning, dirty talk and sex noises. Also I couldnt think of anything else starting with Y. I’m telling ya, throw your head back and sing his praises. But don’t scream like a banshee please for THE LOVE OF GOD. He wants to feel like he is pleasing you NOT killing you.
Z – is for ZEST.
Enjoy yourself for God’s sake. Ain’t nobody forcing you to do anything (I hope) so let loose. Make the most of it. Go with the flow and use a fucking condom.
BIG LOVE X