Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: Choose your friends like you do your cheese. Wisely.
- You never feel self concious around them. This stems from not being afraid of being judged...because let's be honest, we all fear being judged. Even when people go, 'I don't give a fuck, I do what I want' - they actually fear it the most because they need to make such a grand gesture about NOT fearing it, you feel me? It's ironic that when we are at our weakest, our lowest, our most worthless selves and when we need people the most, we shy away from others and hide. Because everyday is a struggle to live up to the person you have created and not the person you are. Some people see that person (not many) and those guys are real. Whoah....that's like so deep man!
- On a lighter note, a true friend will allow it when you take selfies and will also oblige in taking outfit shots and try to capture you at your most flattering and put a dope filter on it.
- A true friend WILL NOT and I repeat W.I.L.L - N.O.T upload a photo of you looking shit. This is also a bit of a grey area, because we have warped perceptions of ourselves, so some photos where we think we look wack we actually look kinda tight to everyone else so a true friend will KNOW which photos you will approve and which you won't so much. Although sometimes they may need to over ride a decision that you may thank them for later. This is not a petty subject! I have witnessed friendships evaporate over this shit.
- They will hold you hair back and rub your back when you vomit. But in all seriousness, you should have outgrown this by now. Still, if it were to happen they would be there.
- They will never creep on the dude you fancy EVEN if there is no way in Hell you stand the slightest chance with him, they will respect your dibs. However, if YOU were a true friend and you saw that they had chemistry, you would not stand in the way of fate. Friendship is push and pull people. But we all have THAT friend that only starts finding someone to be attractive once you've called it. Yeah, THOSE guys are not pals.
- You will never be on a 3 strikes and you're out system with a true friend. They would never wash their hands of you if you keep fucking up. But again, the give and take factor plays a massive role here. You do not want to be keep fucking up and expecting tea and sympathy because that, my friend, is taking the piss.
- They will 'like' your FB updates and instagram photos even if they're boring. And on this note, they'll tell you if you're being boring. They will also tell you when to pull your head in.
- You will generally feel good about yourself around a real friend. You will feel challenged (in a good way) because they will expect you to be the best YOU that you can be. You will feel inspired and most of all, you will feel safe.
- You will laugh.
- You will cry.
- You will dance.
- You will never, ever, ever feel used. Not even once. Not even for half a second.
- You will subconsciously strive to become a better human.
- You will never hear something they have said about you before you have heard it from them.
- They won't ditch you. And those who have been ditched will know what I mean. Ditch rhymes with bitch innit?
- They won't compete. If you have a mate who is always LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!' You know they are never looking at you, unless it's up and down and when you're not looking.
- A true amigo will not lure you into a false sense of security so that you share your secrets which they can exploit later.
- The following things only exist in pseudo friendships/friendships for the world to see and not the ones that are treasured: 1) constant messages and youtube videos left on facebook walls with 'I love you so much, you're such a good friend blah blah blah' when you live in the same city. Who you trying to convince? 2) matching outfits/tattoos/opinions - this reeks of insecurity. 3) doing everything together, everyday with no one else but each other. So unhealthy! Have other friends! Have different experiences! Otherwise, what have you got to talk about? 4) Being 'married' on facebook. 5) I was going to mention another social network friendship that doesn't translate into real life example here but you get the picture.
- And then there is you. You are the person you attract. Shit attracts flies. You don't want to be a needy charity case. You want to be a human being that experiences ups and downs, highs and lows, assholes and babes...someone going through life basically. And in this life, you need some witnesses. Otherwise, who will say nice stuff at your wedding/funeral/behind your back? To have a friend is to be a friend. Now think hard about who fits in with what I've said. Can you think of one? You're lucky. Hold tight.
