Tagged: eye cream

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: For ladies 29 +


I STARTED THIS BLOG WHEN I WAS 27 AND I SAID IT THEN AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN...USE EYE CREAM.


It dun even have to be expensive! Just get lashing some moisture under your peepers quick smart because those lines are TELL TALE. Eyes, back of your hands and your neck.  Start now! Moisturise! Don't leave it. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.

 

NOW IS THE TIME TO QUIT YOUR WHINING.


Shit just ain't cute. You're supposed to know better, be independent, have a better idea of problem solving, be a woman of the world etc etc.  Teenagers and stupid bitches that do the Kardashian baby talk can kinda get away with tantrum throwing and being emotionally unstable so the big, heroic man will come and save them.  But seriously, you gotta sort that out as you head into your thirties.  More assertive less annoying.

 

START WORKING OUT.


In you're thirties you are still 'young' but in 10 years time people will start saying things like 'you look so good for your age!' and you know what? You will. If you work out. Now is the time! Get serious. The party is semi over, say bonjour to your twenties and the frivolity and recklessness that went with it, and start thinking about your future! And by future, I mean your looks. Eye cream and the tread mill are your friendsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

 

AVOID THE TEENAGE PARTIES.


MAINLY because you'll get irritated and whine (refer to 2nd segment of this post) And here's the thing:  You are in THEIR world if you are at one of THEIR parties, they don't give a shit if your old ass is there or not so don't huff and puff and get wound up because everyone is so 'childish' and talk about boring shit and their hair for about an hour when you have no place being there in the first place. But when in Rome and all that...so either drink the cheap booze that tastes like candy or take your ass home and put on some eye cream.

 

IF YOU'RE PUSHING 30 AND YOU ARE SINGLE DO NOT GET A FUCKING CAT.


Laying in bed with your anti wrinkle cream and your cat, watching Sex and the City and wondering whether you're a 'Carrie' or a 'Charlotte' and trying to convince yourself that you don't actually even want to get married is so lame hey. Go rub a different kind of pussy and pop a bottle of vino.

 

YOU CAN STILL DRESS YOUNG!


Just with a little more decorum is all.  Push that boundary because once you cross the line there is no going back.  Especially on the right side of 36, you can get away with loads!  Just look after your face, that's the give away. I can't stress it enough. So sunscreen, eye cream and get more sleep.  Also, avoid 'cute' go for 'hot' or 'sexy' but 'cute' is for the kids and Thai prostitutes.

 

NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.


Maybe an ex boyfriend fucked you up and you have 'trust issues', maybe your parents were weird and gave you your insecurities and complex's as a kid, maybe you were bullied at school WHO KNOWS, thing is, you can use that as your crutch for only a while, but now you have to go, 'OK sure, this person/situation was a fuck wit in my life, but now it's time to build a bridge, and long jump over it'.  Honey, you are about to enter a decade of better self worth, higher self esteem, sexual peak! (apparently).  You don't want all that lame ass baggage coming into this new time of your life.  Cut it off like the gangrenous limb that it is and free yourself of this shit once and for all. Whatever you don't like, change it.  I do hate a cliche, but life really is too short. Like srsly, how quick did 30 come round? Exactly.

 

My current beauty essentials Part 5

Lemme tell you, I love make-up. It's soul purpose in it's little perfectly packaged life is to make you look better!  Unlike fucking garms that make you look fat and get you all depressed when you can't fit into a size 10 anymore! Ehrm. Moving on.

Look at this...

 


 

It's the 88 eyeshadow palette from COASTAL SCENTS for $13 US. Now we know how strong the Aus dollar is atm so flex hard wit yo credit card Aussies because shits cheap. Even if the dollar wasn't on a winning streak, this is really reasonable for a multitude of colours that will last you frikkin ages. I went through this phase a while ago of being absolutely addicted to beauty tutorials on youtube, and every one of those bitches were banging on about Coastal Scents and how reasonable it is yadda yadda so I got it.  Besides, I ain't forking out 40 clams for a single fushia pink eyeshadow from MAC when I'll probably wear it once and look like I had conjunctivitis AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!  It comes in matte and shimmery...I went with the former.

 



 

On to more pressing matters, let's talk fighting the seven signs of aging. Never in my life have I been more insulted when I went to the schmancy Lancome counter looking for a pressed powder and got advised, no TOLD to start 'investing' in anti aging cream. Why I never! But then...she does have a point. I might as well start now seeing as my twenties are about to leave my life quicker than the last man I had in my bed. I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT LYING WHEN I SAY THIS SHIT WORKS BEFORE YOUR EYES. I totally looked 19 and a half again after I 'apply this to my eye area'. And so it bloody should for over 50 bucks a pot. But hey, I figure I spend about $300 a time giving my car a service which I will probably sell in 3 years but my face is for life...you know?

 

I'm gonna talk foundation for a second. When I lived in Western Australia,  temperatures were so bloody hot my face used to melt off. Literally. So I tried my hardest to work out how to keep stuff from sliding off my mug the minute I walked outside into the furnace. Living in the cooler temps of Melbourne have defs helped with the issue, but guurrrrlll you gots to prime! i.e. put a layers of some kind of oil absorber between your skin and the make up.  I have heard of hundreds but I bought this one from BENEFIT called Dr. FeelGood and let.me.tell.you.....it does what it says on the can! My face feels like the velvety skin of a penis when I put this shit on.  It also absorbs all the the oil on your skin...that is, if you have a natural amount of oil. If you are prone to be a bit of an oil slick, then you might need something more er...industrial.

The next step was this bad boy...

A stippling brush. I got the MAC one but you can find these duo fibre bad asses all over the shop.  I would drop the coin on them though because cheap brushes shed and I am half Portuguese so I have enough fucking hair on my face already. ANYWAY. The idea of using this brush is to not sweep your foundation on with it but to 'stipple'.  For example, you take a bit of make up on the back of your hand or whatever and dab the white bits on it and then start stippling your face in a dabbing motion. You know how like the more pixels (series of little dots) there are on a digital photo the clearer it is?  Same with this. You start stippling little dots all over your face and keep going and adding slowly until your face is covered. a) you use a hella less 'product' and b) it literally gives an air brushed effect. I swear! Try it if you don't believe me. It's amazing.

After that you need to 'set' the stuff so I got this stuff...

 

 

I can't even begin to think what they are gonna say at customs when I decant a bit of this in a plastic bag to take on the plane. Do not be put off by it being white, it is actually clear when it goes on your face.  I didn't really want yet more make up to go on top of the foundation but I wanted to set it and this stuff is great! It's clear silicone in powder form and glides (yes glides) on your skin and keeps all your stippling in place! I love it! The only thing is, there isn't really that much in a container (you greedy MAC bastards) but other than that, I am hooked hey. It's called MAC Prep and Prime. And I do now. All the time.

Another good finishing powder is this mineral powder by MAC...

 

 

It's good for night time. It obviously is a little bronze (which I love) but again, it doesn't go on as dark as it looks here, it just kind of leaves your skin silky and slightly sun kissed.  It's called MAC Mineralize Skinfinish and it pretty much polishes your face.  The lovely Sarah from all dolled up fame used it on me over the weekend and this was the result ...

 

 

If you can look past the fact that Zitney Spears is doing a world tour on my chin at the minute, you will be able to tell the sheen that my skin has.  I really like how my skin looks here and it is really down to this mineral powder stuff.

 

 

Did you even know that Palmer's DID skincare?  Neither did I! And I LOVE the coco butter goodness of the body lotion so I bought this recently from the supermarket when I was buying tampons just to see what it was like. I only got the night cream because I thought it might be a bit heavy but it is actually just enough! I am in love with this. It smells amazing and I swear my skin improved since using it which is a result because after spending all my cash on that Lancome wank fest I wasn't exactly skipping over to the ATM, so any bargains that actually work are fine by me.  And a bargain this baby is at only 8 dollarzzz.

That's all from me!  The only other thing that can sort out the 5 piece luggage set from under my eyes is some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz so g'night Owlies! x

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part vingt – trois


WITH THE GOOD, MUST COME THE BAD - If you don't have a few fuck wits running around and pulling you down and kicking you in the proverbial face, then you wouldn't appreciate the bodacious peeps out there that make living worth while. So don't react towards too much of the negative energy...take it on board...see if it feels right and whether you can take something from it...then let it go and keep your head up and your eye on the ball. It's like playing Super Mario and the little toadstool and turtle things try to piss on your parade along the way because they don't want you to get Princess Peach. What would Mario do? He'd jump over them and kick them in the gonads and acquires a gold coin in the process. (The last time I played Super Mario I was 12 and it was on Nintendo with one of those cartridges that could hold 812 games or something). The only time they get the better of him is when he doubts himself. Don't be that kind of Mario.

SPEAKING OF PRINCESS PEACH... - Everyone should listen to Peaches. That bird is the dopest of the dope. She has a mouth like a trucker and is still grooving and looking hot in her forties. She is proof it can be done.

SLAP ON THE EYE CREAM - I've said this before. But I'm telling ya, other than your hands, those are the first things that tell your age. So don't skimp and get a good one . Elizabeth Arden Privage is pricey, but I swear to God it acts like Polyfiller for the skin. Why is it that we would spend the dosh on shoes which we only wear on a few nights out, but not on our skin that is with us forever?

AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT - Get involved with the 'ol sunscreen too. Keep the leather look for your belts and shoes ... burnt skin ain't chic honey.

IF YOU HAVE A GUT, YOU CANNOT WEAR A BIKINI - Let's not kid ourselves. Nobody wants to see lumpy flesh hanging over what is essentially underwear on the beach. Get a sexy one piece (there are plenty about) and get one with a plunging neckline that shows off those bazoonga's. Hide the flaws and get out the flawless. Hey man, I wear red lipstick, chandelier earings and Cha Cha Gabor style sunglasses to the beach...who said we have to be all 'surfs up' about it?

God bless my little owlettes xx