IF A WOMAN DEMANDS SOME KIND OF 30 THOUSAND DOLLAR ENGAGEMENT RING, IT MEANS SHE NEEDS CONFIRMATION THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER

And you probably aren't ready to get married. I mean fuck, if you are in love then a mood ring would do...ya get me?

 

JUST BECAUSE YOU GO FOR A COUPLE OF NICE MEALS AT A FANCY RESTAURANT, AND YOU ONLY DRINK GREY GOOSE VODKA DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE TOP CLASS

 There are probably more families living in the slums of Bombay or in a shanty town in Khayalitsha that have more class than some footballers and their wives.  Class comes from within.  You can throw a nice suit on an asshole but his true colours will always come through. Like throwing cement on top of weeds.

 

AGAIN I HAVE TO SAY, STOP SENDING PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS

They are actually pretty weird looking.  We prefer to feel them, not see them.  But thanks for the visual.

 

MAN, IT'S SO SEXY WHEN YOU SULK!

Not.

 

IT'S KINDA SEXY WHEN YOU CATCH OUR EYE IN TRAFFIC

The other day, some dude did mock fellatio on a banana at me on the freeway. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda liked it.

 

WHEN GIRLS GET PRETEND OFFENDED WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEIR TITS INSTEAD OF THEIR FACE, IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT THEY ARE A FLOOZY

They actually secretly love it.  But I get the feeling most of you already knew that.

obnoxiousowl@gmail.com - special email account for penis photos x