Tagged: hair

My beauty essentials: the summer edition



Owlies I love the ocean...like love it. Living in the middle of the city has its advantages but living near the sea ain't it. I also adore summer and all it's trimmings. The smell of coconut oil on the beach, people are happier than usual, white wine suddenly tastes fine and when you are bronzed you look thinner, fact! Before I get to the consumable beauty essentials lets talk the beach! My sisters laughed at me when I did this last week but I was laughing last when I had a complexion to rival the latest edition of Photoshop! When you go for a dip in the sea, take a little of wet sand between your hands and GENTLY massage your face and body with it. After rinsing off with saltwater before taking a cold shower then dousing yourself in a rich body lotion and a good nights kip you will look a hundred bucks!

But now onto the most important thing after Sangria this summer....sunscreen!

 

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This one by Neutrogena is without a doubt the best I have ever used and growing up in the Southern Hemisphere, I have used a few! These are the things I like about a sunscreen: Factor 30 TICK! Light and non-sticky on the skin TICK! Waterproof TICK! Comes in a mist for easy application and so that you don't need some chump to put it on for you TICK! Reasonably priced TICK! This guy has it all baby. And don't be put off by factor 30 because you will still tan you just won't burn. And I was very aware of burning this summer because I have recently become a red head and did not want to look like a lobster. Can you imagine?! However saying that...

 

 

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I do like me a bit of Reef Sun Tan Oil because summer just wouldn't be summer without something coconutty and I only use this on my legs because legs just don't tan do they? My rule is 30 from the waist up especially the face and 15 SPF from the waist down. This concoction served me well and I came out looking like this #nofilter

 

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Ok maybe some filter but no make-up! The hashtag should have been #startledexpression

 

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To keep that tan going use Palmers Natural Bronze body lotion. It gives you a nice golden glow instead of a Lisa Simpson glow, it smells nice and it dries fast! Definitely the best on the market...the supermarket that is. I think I may have mentioned this before? Oh who cares, I'm telling you again because its good OK?

 

 

G041259 Terracotta new light pourdre bronzante


 

 

More bronze shizz and it dun come cheap! This, my friends, is by the French house Guerlain and it is their Terrecotta Bronzer which has become a bit of a cult beauty product amongst those in the know. And I'm in the know. It cost $85 (!) but I bought it in October and have used it everyday and I still can't see the silver - if you know what I mean. It is worth every dang penny because it makes you look sensational.

 

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This is the first time I have bleached or dyed my hair ever! Ok, I have put a box colour on from time to time to hide the three errant greys but it washed out two days later.  This time actual bleach was applied. I am legit! Anyway, since I dyed my hair in the summer and am a water baby, a lot of it faded after all the chlorine and salt water. I highly recommend Fudge Paint Box as it literally does what it says on the can or in this case, tube. This in only one of my colours, there are four mixed to make this baby and I'm not giving you the recipe because I feel half of my appeal is maintaining an air of mystery. (I just can't remember)

 

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Still on hair, I snapped this picture in my bathroom of my fave Evo styling products.  The Mister Fantastic makes styling WAY more easier by allowing texture in freshly washed hair and the Love Touch makes your hurrr shiiiiiiine like a brand new penny! I absolutely love Evo products. They are quirky and quality and quick! The Queen of haircare! QQQQQQQ

 

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Lez talk nailz. I no longer sport acrylics! I know I know, but they had to come to an end eventually. Instead I rock a very short, blunt nail in vivid colours. This time I chose this Esse number in 'bikini so teeny' because I base nail varnish purchases 50% on the name and the other half on the colour. Also, it goes great with red, don't ya think?

 

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Enjoy your summer!


x

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I popped my hair cherry today...literally!  This is the first time I have ever dyed my hair and I gave Bee from Peggy Sue's Salon here in Perth free reign with the only guideline being that I wanted to go red.  As you can see, the girl hooked me up with a zesty cherry red.

If you ever manage to get an appointment at this salon when you are in Perth grab it with both hands because Bee is a hair wizard and she dyes your locks to the sounds of Fleetwood Mac.  I had such a great day.

It's crazy how one change, one day, one tiny experience can alter a bit of perspective. I'm feeling all inspired and fuzzy inside and looking forward to 2013 and returning to Melbourne.

 

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My Beauty Essentials Part 11

I love make-up and skincare, I always have.  My last 50 bucks would probably go on a lipstick before a new dress.  I started doing these posts because I feel that there is so much in the media telling us to 'buy this' and 'try that' and how about those ridiculous mascara ads where the chick has lashes about a metre long?! And those air brushed to fuck ads of has been celebs?  Good grief.  In my experience, the best advice I've had in relation to all things beauty has been from friends.   So consider me your friend, and here is my tried and tested advice.

 



 

EVO HAIR PRODUCTS


Yo, sometimes I get sent things to trial and thats cool, I'm down. I mean, its free shit right?  But I'm not going to ride anyone's dick over something just to get more free stuff because that defeats the purpose of this post.  Also, I am a writer before a product pimper thank you very kindly.  Anyway! Let's talk about Evo.  Someone at this particular PR company has done their research (theres a first) and sent me the volumizing range...Gluttony Shampoo, Bride of Gluttony Conditioner  and Day of Grace Leave-in Conditioner WHICH I left in last night and today my hair feels bouncier that Beyonce's thighs oooooooo weeeeeeee.  Yeah, you got me Evo.  I like their quirky copywriting and simple packaging.  I like how my hair smells, I like how easy it is to manage and that it doesn't coat my hair in silicone which is what all cheap hair products do to trick you into thinking your hair is shiny.  The stuff ain't cheap nor is it expensive...we're looking at about $24.95 per product.  They sent me these three in a delightful little red and white bag which is part of the Christmas Range.  I think right now if you buy three products you get 20% off or something.  Check out their site and they may sell it in a few select salons.  Yeah, 'select' ya'll.  We beez SELECT.


WATER


For as long as I live and breathe I will never stop harping on about how much you should drink water.  Hands down, if I have been drinking and not washing my face properly and not getting enough sleep and my skin begins to look like a meth head's I have two words for you 1) water and 2) fake tan. But first, water. Water all day every damn day.  On the hour, every hour.  Dehydration is the source of all things bad i.e. bad skin, headaches, fatigue and many other shit things.   I literally have to spend 2 days necking back H2O and my skin is back to its glowy, plumpy self. Hooray!

 



OIL OF OLAY MOISTURISING LOTION


I think I have mentioned this before in another post? Well what evs, I'm mentioning it again.  Honey, I have tried every moisturiser you can imagine.  OK, I exaggerate I haven't really, mainly because I don't have a load of paper but even if I did I would still probably go for this $10 number from the supermarket because the shit agrees with me. Sure, that other $150 stuff may transform me into a butterfly but for those that just don't have the money, this will do you perfectly fine.

 

SOME OF MY STAPLE MAC LIPSTICKS 


 



 

Bombshell - A lovely, everyday lippy.  Put gloss over it at night for when you want that slutty look...you know what I mean.

 



 

Lady Danger - Red with a hint of coral.  I think this is everybody's fave though so apologies for not being very original.

 



 

Impassioned - A delightfully fun hot pink! It's nice as a shock of colour across your face.

 



 

ILLAMASQUA SKIN BASE FOUNDATION 


This song sums up everything I have to say about this blemish killing, skin firming, complexion enhancing magical potion...

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: My Beauty Essentials Part 9

HEY YA'LL!! Sorry. Caps.  I've been to gym and had 3 coffee's so I'm feeling a little ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG! Ya know?

Anyway, let's get cracking...

Guys. I'm annoyed with myself .  Wanna know why?  Because I have only decided now to get my hands on YSL TOUCHE ECLAT.  I don't know what the Hell I was thinking fucking with anything else.  It's like a cult under eye concealer, and me having hereditary dark circles under my eyes I thought I'd just ignore the best thing on the market. Yup. I'm a moron.  Apparently one is sold every three seconds world wide!  You can literally get them everywhere and they are always about $50...some discount pharmacies do it for 25 bucks (so I've heard) but I'd pay thousands to be honest.  I look about 1.5 years younger and no one will tell you are hungover with this smeared under your peepers. Truth.  I got mine off STRAWBERRY NET...free shipping holler!  What a website! What a concealer! Go get 'em!

 



 

Went into MAC yesterday to get my usual setting powder (God dudes must read this and think 'WTF?') and took my 6 empty MAC containers and got my free lipstick.  Yo, did you know they do that?  It's a genius idea.  Other cosmetic companies should follow suit.  Unless they do and I don't know about it?  Tell me your secrets!   I am set with bright lipstick colours because of my vast LIME CRIME collection, so I go for a kissable pink for everyday wear.  I spoke once about BOMBSHELL which is the colour I usually go for but SURPRISE SURPRISE they had no stock. Do you guys find MAC are always out of stock of errthang?  Well I bloody do.  Well I guess it was a blessing because I tried this colour called PLEASE ME. And it does. So I guess it's a win. Plus it was free. So I'll stop whinging.

 

Speaking of MAC, I usually buy their FLUIDLINE which I have spoken about before.  However, it's like nearly $40.  And I'm watching dem pennies at the moment, so I was like fuck that.  I copped this MAYBELLINE EYE STUDIO for $16 just at the supermarket and it was actually the most intelligent thing I did all week.  It comes with the brush and the consistency is not as gel like as the MAC one but my God there is virtually no difference hey...  I am actually never going to buy the MAC one every again.  There.  I said it.

 



 

In other supermarket purchase reviews, Let's talk hair.  ORGANIX is quite frankly the bomb.  I used to buy the Brazilian one which I reviewed last year and then I tried them all out, you know, just so I didn't get bored...and ding ding ding we have a winner! I am all over this Coconut goodness.  My hurrr feels just wonderful and it smells like the beach.  What's not to love?  OK usual supermarket brands are like $5 to $8 and this one is $15 but you can't really put a price on good hair now can you?  I find it straightens easier and is way more manageable since using this and you know what?  I'm worth it.

 

 


Oi my mum bought me this Sarah Jessica Parker fragrance for Christmas and I was like, 'Bitch you crazy' - but I am going to eat my words on this one because it actually ain't bad.  It's my Monday to Friday work fragrance and I get loads of compliments! (OK like 2 but still) and the bottle is quite pretty and SJP is the lesser evil of celeb endorsed shit so yeah, I am down with COVET.  Try it! In fact, it's almost winter (or summer if you're reading this in the Northern Hem) so maybe it's time for a fragrance makeover?  Treat yourself.


efragrance discount codes

best deals on fragrances

 

 

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part cent six



Straight up, Imma get straight to it...anal sex.


Nothing new as we have touched on this subject many times, but it seems to be cropping up in conversation a lot lately.   Gentleman of modern times have somehow come to the conclusion that this act is on the menu right under handjobs.  Now which of you are allowing them to think this to be true is what I want to know?  Sure it is less 'taboo' than it once was but seriously hey, this little treat should only be wheeled out for the worthy and as a treat. If we just start giving them the ass willy nilly then homeboys are gonna become jaded and start expecting you to get it on with their alsatian in say 5 to 8 years...let's not spoil them is what I'm trying to say. I mean, they're already making their 'demands' on their preference of bush vs no bush and I fear we are nurturing a bunch of brats.

 

Hair done, nails done, everything did.


Do not under estimate what a little grooming can do for your self esteem and your mood. Go see your beautician/hairdresser - sorry, 'hair artist' - instead of buying new clothes. It's MUCH more of an investment beleee meee.

 

It's summer, your face is probably shiny...


Get some powder on that shit OR you can get those little face blotting thingo's

 

If you are creative, be so with abandon.


Some people will hate it, some people will judge it, some may even be offended.  You cannot allow the world we live in to dictate the way you create because then it is not honest or sincere.  The minute you start caring what people are going to think or feel in any way constricted or limited...it's over.

 

He isn't replying/responding/reacting because he doesn't want to. 


You can't push these things.  You're also probably feeling anxious about it so you're trying to salvage something which is just making you come across as desperate/annoying/crazy. Leave be. You'll speak again one day, and it will be all good and if you don't...well it will probably be because you forgot all about him.   Just stop poking the wasp nest though...k babe?

*This advice is not strictly for girls.

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: Beauty Essentials Part 6

It's that time again! The time where I justify all the money I spent on tryna make myself look half decent.   So with no further adieu...

 



 

It's the skin edition! So for a while there I was a bit skint and I was using something I got at Woolies for a fiver to wash my skin.  Eurgh. I don't even really want to talk about it in front of my pores because I'm sure they don't want old memories of them being violated to come rushing back. Anyway, when my bank balance starting looking a bit healthier, so did my skin.  I hit up Mecca Cosmetica (Space.NK  in the UK) and I went for this bottle of love from Philosophy.   I've used it before and it was amazing and I don't really know what I didn't continue the habit.   It's not even thaaaaat expensive really at $54...considering its like giving yourself a mini microdermabrasion every single day and it makes your complexion look as though you've born again. It really is quite wonderful and I have seen a VAST improvement in my mug.  It's also helped that I have drank gallons of water everyday. Girl I'm telling you, it's all about the H 2 the O.

 



THIS guy is a bit lovely.  Do you use primer? Yeah neither did I until about 5 months ago. I used to use that Benefit Dr FeelGood shit but NO MORE!  Not until I met this guy by a brand called MURAD.  Not only does it smooth your face, it is also slightly tinted so you can wear it on it's own when you aren't in the mood to get all the slap out. Like I wore it on it's own for Sunday brunch the other week.  Although I did end up getting served by the waiter I kinda have a crush on so I do kinda wish I went the whole hog BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

 



 

I don't reckon I've ever bought the same brand of foundation twice in a row hey. I think it's because I always go somewhere new to stock up and then I bump into a sales assistant who is obviously trying to hustle a certain brand and seeing as I am a sucker for this shit, I end up being swayed.  Well. I'm glad Chris from Mecca swayed me because I love this Bobby Brown stuff.  It does what it says on the can 'Natural Finish' check. 'Long Lasting' check. Mabes a bit light for my liking but you can put it on as thick or as light as you want.  It's cool, I like it and will probably be great for summer.  Although I'll probs be pimping another guy in a month but that doesn't mean I'm not a fan of Bobby.

 

 



 

White eyeliner is THE SHIT. Seriously. Especially after a big night. It totally whitens and brightens and makes your peepers look less like black sunken swamps in your hungover sockets.   Any brand will do really, but what I like about this Mr Frosty from Benefit is that you can also kind of use it as a highlighter on your brow bone and smudge it in the corner of your eye as well. If you have small eyes this is the product for you! And if you have huge OWL like eyes like me, then this will actually almost make you look anime. I ain't even kidding yo!

 

 



 

Ya'll heard of AESOP?   It's from right here in Melbourne but it has become a cult favorite worldwide. I think. I dunno if it has actually BUT IT SHOULD BE.  I am addicted to hand creams....mainly 'cause I'm getting old (er) and the hands are the tell tale signs to an old bird. So I keep my mani fresh and my hands smooth as fuck. Aesop is pricey for sure but sooooo worth it hey. There is notable difference when you use this stuff, and I know EVERYONE says that there is notable difference after most things but would I lie to you?  Well I might do, but not about hand cream.  The little screw top cap thing is a bit annoying though, I won't lie. Like when you've squeezed some out and you have cream on your hand then you have to hold it weird and put the lid back on then you drop it etc etc, but hey it looks cool and I get it. I am so down with AESOP!

 

 



 

Let's talk huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr. My friend Asha the hairdresser is probably rolling her eyes as she reads this (I see you bitch!) but she did my hair a few weeks ago and was all like, 'Honey! What the Hell are using on your hair!?' And I was using some shit stuff, I'll admit it. It's when I was tryna save so suck me.  I was also hating my hair at the time and I thought it's because I was in really bad mood and that effected your hormones and therefore you hair YEAH YEAH YEAH I KNOW. It's because my shampoo was shit. So I copped this stuff by Organix.   Oh sweet Jesus of hair.  My hair went under a makeover with just one wash. Soft and manageable and Brazilian smelling. Lush. Plus this stuff has keratin proteins in it so it kind of trains your hair to stay the way you style it. Like I have a fringe for instance, and it would look amazing when I went to bed and when I woke up....not so much. NOW I wake up and its still exactly where I left it, straight and behaving itself. What a novelty hey? I am never straying from good shit again!

How let the GIOGO girls tell you about their tresses...laterz!



GIOGO Hair Show from GIOGO Girls on Vimeo.

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: My current beauty essentials Pt 4

Gather round ladies, Mama Owl gwaan tell ya what I use on my mug. Fuck, I'm no 'beauty guru' (beauty guru's don't say fuck for one thing) but I know what I like and I am just a little bottomless pit of opinion, so HEAR ME NOW!!

This here is MAC's gel eyeliner pot or better known in the 'bizz' as FLUIDLINE and they call it fluid because it is. Fluid and smooth and long lasting.  Not only on your lid, but this little demon lasts a bloody age. I've had this pot near on 5 months now and shit's still just giving and giving.   You need an angled brush....exhibit A...

 

 

I have the MAC one as well. I mean, I was buying it from there and stuff and they gotta do their little upsells and flog you all the necessary apparatus. It's not like you can use this shit with your finger, the brush is uber essential, you'd think they'd throw in hey?!  Anyhow, it's not that expensive this eyeliner stuff, it's only like 40 bucks, the brush ain't too far off that.  But really, unlike boys, brushes last relatively forever if you take care of them. I tell ya, that little angled shape on this brush combined with that pot of black magic will give your eyes wings that'll make ya fly like Air Jamaica girl.

 



OK so I always thought brush cleaners were daylight robbery bullshit. UNTIL my sister the make up artist used this in front of me one day. I swear to God it's like it magically gave her new brushes. It's $20 a pop though which is a bit exsy but I just had to have it for my own very unimpressive brush collection. *FYI - I am not on some kinda MAC sponsorship here* Seriously though, you gots ta clean your brushes. It's uber gross not to. Once I didn't for weeks, and suddenly Zitney Spears was world touring on my jawline. Look, I'll be honest though, I probs won't buy this again...it didn't last very long and you suddenly get hella paranoid about cleaning your brushes so it starts getting well $$$$$$$$, so I found this vid by Michelle Phan on youtube, and if you can look past her sugary sweet voice, her video's are pretty wow.  CLEAN THEM BRUSHES!

 



 

I know right! How addictive is it watching this shit? They make you feel like you will be a better person or something if you invest in your beauty regime. And you know what? I believe them.

 

 

Yup, no more MAC to be seen here! It's all about NARS baby! I love this fucking foundation. And so I should...it was one hundred thousand dollars minus the hundred thousand. Sheer Glow Foundation by NARS  is the best foundation I have used after the Armani Skin Fabric I told you about in a previous post.  It comes in a matte and a dewy formula. I really wish I got the matte formula.  I could seriously round house kick that girlie who convinced me into getting the 'dewy' more 'youthful' finish. Hmmm...nothing fucking youthful about dewy finish make up in 40 degree Western Australian weather missy!  Other than that, it goes on like melted butter. You have to use your hands cause it has clay in it, so you have to warm it in your palm for a bit. Ask the girls to give you a little tester and I swear, you will love it. My colour is called 'Barcelona'. It's probably why I bought it actually because I love Spain. I chose my car colour 'cause it was called 'Madrid Black' ha ha! I don't even have any Spanish in me! Although I have had...

Moving on!

 

 

This is called 'Moroccan Rose Otto Sugar Body Polish' - what more convincing do you need exactly?  I love REN bath products, I aways have.  It's just so damn luscious.  I cop mine from Mecca Cosmetica here in Aus,  in the UK you can get it from Space Nk and nearly all of the department stores. In South Africa they sell it in Woolworths  ... God SA, we have come a long way hey? In America...hmm, probably Sephora? Look I dunno alright! Google that shit, I'm not your one stop shop for links.  Geez.

 

 

Blah blah blah...only buy expensive shampoo yadda yadda yadda.  OK. Salon products are amazing, I agree. But so are their damn prices! The best supermarket shampoo I have used EVER is this TRESemme stuff. It's a French word for Pete's sake, it must be good!  In all serious though, I have found that my hair has been most manageable after using this stuff. It's about $10 for a humongous bottle and while it's not ideal, it certainly does the trick, well for me anyway.

 

 

And from one French powerhouse to another, oh la la CHANEL mademoiselle? I hardly ever cop nail varnish 'cause as most of you know, I get my nailzz did on the regular, I don't however, have regular pedicures so I paint my own tootsies, and usually with something by Revlon. But my God I could not resist this colour! The colour is called Nouvelle Vague and it is gaaaaawwwjuuusss! I got me a little tan over the summer, and this looks so cute on my toes. My toenails look like itty bitty mini swimming pools down there.  Oh hey guys!

And thats a wrap on my little beauty 4 1 1.  You can read my other one's here, here and here.

Any suggestions or wanna share what you're using?  I am looking everywhere for a decent concealer and face primer, what do you suggest?  Be honest. 'Cause the dark circles on my eyes put fucking Penny the Panda to shame.

Love ya x

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 18


FOR BOYS ONLY



OWN AT LEAST ONE SUIT


It needs to fit perfectly and make you look like James Bond. It needs to not be polyester.  Your mum shouldn't have helped you buy it when you were 17 for your year 12 ball.  The sleeves should not cover knuckles.  A velvet suit can be hot...jus sayin



IF YOU PUT YOUR FINGER IN OUR BUM AND DON'T SPIT ON IT OR LUBE IT UP SOMEHOW, IT WILL HURT.


You bastard.



MAKE IT FEEL AS IF YOU ARE GOING TO RAPE US


But then don't. I'm not saying rape is cool, rape is bad. But to most girls, the feeling of danger is a total turn on.  If you are a girl, and you have been genuinely raped and you're reading this, I'm sorry.  But I'm not deleting this, because its the truth.



STOP DESCRIBING GIRLS AS 'STARFISH' WHEN THEY JUST 'LAY THERE'


Ever thought that you may be a 'dud fuck' arsehole?  She was prolly just bored.



IF YOU READ A TEXT MESSAGE, AND THEN QUICKLY PUT YOUR PHONE IN YOUR POCKET AND DART A LOOK OVER AT YOUR MISSUS, SHE WILL BE SUSPICIOUS


Stop being a wanker and tryna turn your girl into some kinda psycho just so that you a) feel needed and b) can get into a 'who has the most psycho girlfriend' debate with your friends.  We're onto you.......



IF YOU HAVE LONG HAIR, WEARING IT IN A BUN IS NOT A GOOD LOOK


Who do you think you are?  Mr Miyagi some shit?