Tagged: lipstick

TAKE MY ADVICE…I DON’T USE IT ANYWAY PART CENT TRENTE

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  1. Conversation comes from a dialogue, not a monologue. Stop just waiting for the other person to finish talking just so you can hear the sound of your own voice. 

  2. You can't change the way people perceive you. You can't even get angry about it! The issue lies with how you perceive yourself. Don't make your problem someone else's ... if you know what I mean.

  3. Quit being so bossy! You're annoying.

  4. Egg salad i.e. boiled eggs, mayo and cress is a divine thing to put on a freshly toasted bagel. It's retro AND it is tasty...two great things.

  5. When it comes to style, the trick is to be inspired and not a copy cat. Don't be too literal. Literal fashion is tacky and worst of all, it's corny.

  6. #all #those #instagood #instagram #hashtags #underneath #all #your #photos #make #you #look #desperate #for #attention

  7. Act like a lady, think like a man.

  8. If your sheer goal is to become famous then you will probably achieve it.

  9. But happiness will take a little longer.

  10. Every girl needs a red lipstick in the shade that suits her, a good quality black dress, high heels and a good attitude. This way, you will always have something to wear.

My Beauty Essentials Part 11

I love make-up and skincare, I always have.  My last 50 bucks would probably go on a lipstick before a new dress.  I started doing these posts because I feel that there is so much in the media telling us to 'buy this' and 'try that' and how about those ridiculous mascara ads where the chick has lashes about a metre long?! And those air brushed to fuck ads of has been celebs?  Good grief.  In my experience, the best advice I've had in relation to all things beauty has been from friends.   So consider me your friend, and here is my tried and tested advice.

 



 

EVO HAIR PRODUCTS


Yo, sometimes I get sent things to trial and thats cool, I'm down. I mean, its free shit right?  But I'm not going to ride anyone's dick over something just to get more free stuff because that defeats the purpose of this post.  Also, I am a writer before a product pimper thank you very kindly.  Anyway! Let's talk about Evo.  Someone at this particular PR company has done their research (theres a first) and sent me the volumizing range...Gluttony Shampoo, Bride of Gluttony Conditioner  and Day of Grace Leave-in Conditioner WHICH I left in last night and today my hair feels bouncier that Beyonce's thighs oooooooo weeeeeeee.  Yeah, you got me Evo.  I like their quirky copywriting and simple packaging.  I like how my hair smells, I like how easy it is to manage and that it doesn't coat my hair in silicone which is what all cheap hair products do to trick you into thinking your hair is shiny.  The stuff ain't cheap nor is it expensive...we're looking at about $24.95 per product.  They sent me these three in a delightful little red and white bag which is part of the Christmas Range.  I think right now if you buy three products you get 20% off or something.  Check out their site and they may sell it in a few select salons.  Yeah, 'select' ya'll.  We beez SELECT.


WATER


For as long as I live and breathe I will never stop harping on about how much you should drink water.  Hands down, if I have been drinking and not washing my face properly and not getting enough sleep and my skin begins to look like a meth head's I have two words for you 1) water and 2) fake tan. But first, water. Water all day every damn day.  On the hour, every hour.  Dehydration is the source of all things bad i.e. bad skin, headaches, fatigue and many other shit things.   I literally have to spend 2 days necking back H2O and my skin is back to its glowy, plumpy self. Hooray!

 



OIL OF OLAY MOISTURISING LOTION


I think I have mentioned this before in another post? Well what evs, I'm mentioning it again.  Honey, I have tried every moisturiser you can imagine.  OK, I exaggerate I haven't really, mainly because I don't have a load of paper but even if I did I would still probably go for this $10 number from the supermarket because the shit agrees with me. Sure, that other $150 stuff may transform me into a butterfly but for those that just don't have the money, this will do you perfectly fine.

 

SOME OF MY STAPLE MAC LIPSTICKS 


 



 

Bombshell - A lovely, everyday lippy.  Put gloss over it at night for when you want that slutty look...you know what I mean.

 



 

Lady Danger - Red with a hint of coral.  I think this is everybody's fave though so apologies for not being very original.

 



 

Impassioned - A delightfully fun hot pink! It's nice as a shock of colour across your face.

 



 

ILLAMASQUA SKIN BASE FOUNDATION 


This song sums up everything I have to say about this blemish killing, skin firming, complexion enhancing magical potion...

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: My Beauty Essentials Part 9

HEY YA'LL!! Sorry. Caps.  I've been to gym and had 3 coffee's so I'm feeling a little ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG! Ya know?

Anyway, let's get cracking...

Guys. I'm annoyed with myself .  Wanna know why?  Because I have only decided now to get my hands on YSL TOUCHE ECLAT.  I don't know what the Hell I was thinking fucking with anything else.  It's like a cult under eye concealer, and me having hereditary dark circles under my eyes I thought I'd just ignore the best thing on the market. Yup. I'm a moron.  Apparently one is sold every three seconds world wide!  You can literally get them everywhere and they are always about $50...some discount pharmacies do it for 25 bucks (so I've heard) but I'd pay thousands to be honest.  I look about 1.5 years younger and no one will tell you are hungover with this smeared under your peepers. Truth.  I got mine off STRAWBERRY NET...free shipping holler!  What a website! What a concealer! Go get 'em!

 



 

Went into MAC yesterday to get my usual setting powder (God dudes must read this and think 'WTF?') and took my 6 empty MAC containers and got my free lipstick.  Yo, did you know they do that?  It's a genius idea.  Other cosmetic companies should follow suit.  Unless they do and I don't know about it?  Tell me your secrets!   I am set with bright lipstick colours because of my vast LIME CRIME collection, so I go for a kissable pink for everyday wear.  I spoke once about BOMBSHELL which is the colour I usually go for but SURPRISE SURPRISE they had no stock. Do you guys find MAC are always out of stock of errthang?  Well I bloody do.  Well I guess it was a blessing because I tried this colour called PLEASE ME. And it does. So I guess it's a win. Plus it was free. So I'll stop whinging.

 

Speaking of MAC, I usually buy their FLUIDLINE which I have spoken about before.  However, it's like nearly $40.  And I'm watching dem pennies at the moment, so I was like fuck that.  I copped this MAYBELLINE EYE STUDIO for $16 just at the supermarket and it was actually the most intelligent thing I did all week.  It comes with the brush and the consistency is not as gel like as the MAC one but my God there is virtually no difference hey...  I am actually never going to buy the MAC one every again.  There.  I said it.

 



 

In other supermarket purchase reviews, Let's talk hair.  ORGANIX is quite frankly the bomb.  I used to buy the Brazilian one which I reviewed last year and then I tried them all out, you know, just so I didn't get bored...and ding ding ding we have a winner! I am all over this Coconut goodness.  My hurrr feels just wonderful and it smells like the beach.  What's not to love?  OK usual supermarket brands are like $5 to $8 and this one is $15 but you can't really put a price on good hair now can you?  I find it straightens easier and is way more manageable since using this and you know what?  I'm worth it.

 

 


Oi my mum bought me this Sarah Jessica Parker fragrance for Christmas and I was like, 'Bitch you crazy' - but I am going to eat my words on this one because it actually ain't bad.  It's my Monday to Friday work fragrance and I get loads of compliments! (OK like 2 but still) and the bottle is quite pretty and SJP is the lesser evil of celeb endorsed shit so yeah, I am down with COVET.  Try it! In fact, it's almost winter (or summer if you're reading this in the Northern Hem) so maybe it's time for a fragrance makeover?  Treat yourself.


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best deals on fragrances

 

 

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: Beauty Essentials Part 8

Here we have it folks, the new things I love to use and then convince myself that they were worth every penny via the medium of the interwebz.

 



 

BARRY M  is no secret to our UK buddies who can cop this fantastic brand all over the place in their cold ass country.  They srsly do errrthang and do it well.  I would buy this stuff over MAC any day if I had the convenience of it just down the road or something.  Anyway, I only own a couple of make up brushes and some nail varnish.  It's weird for me to own nail varnish actually because I always get my acrylics done every 2 weeks on the dot and I'm not one of them people who take in their own polish...ya know?  I bought some on my last trip to the UK because I wanted blue toe nails to match my blue mood.  Then the other day the nail lady effed up my nails so big time and I couldn't be arsed to go back and get her to do it again so I painted my girls blue.   See...

 



 

I love me some BARRY M.   Give their lippy's a go as well, they have more colours than South Africa.

 

 



 

Meet my new boyfriend. *pause*  OK so as I've gotten older my hair has gotten finer and my bathroom floor now has a luxurious mane, therefore I have been forced to leave my hair au natural which is curly.  Curls = body and Lord knows I need it.  So, I was inspired by Rihanna (yes really) and thought I'd curl my curls!  CRAZY.  Not really.  Any hoooo I went to PRICE LINE  to get me some tongs.  BOY WHAT A VARIETY! I ended up choosing this guy because it's tapered at the end and it gives your curl bounce at the root and makes the end a bit tighter.  I am so glad I did this because it just kinda adds a little more POW! (yes pow) to my hair and gives them more definition. HAHA I sound like a wanker.  Well....so is your mum.  I am all about BABYLISS I gots the hair dryer and the electric rollers.  This thing was only $70 and goes right up to a heat setting of 25 degrees!  Plus it's ceramic coated and when it's not hot you can...yep.  Also, look how the little buttons make a face kinda haha!  OK so after you've curled your hurrr...

 

 



 

Toss your hair forward and spray liberally with L'OREAL ELNETT HAIRSPRAY.  This is cult hairspray and is used backstage at all the shows darling.  It has been on the circuit for yonks and I kinda want to get the woman on the can tattooed hmmmm...dun steal my idea!  The can is huge and will last forevs and is only 10 dolla and the best bit is, is that it is non sticky.  HOO RAH.

 



 

Apologies to LIME CRIME because they asked me ages ago which lipstick I wanted so I could talk it up for all ya'll.   Now I'm not one for blogging shit just because I got something for free but if I like it then I shall and I have been banging on about Lime Crime since 2009.  So I asked the lovely PR lady for MY BEAUTIFUL ROCKET  because I have wanted a really orange lipstick for a while now.  OK I'm lying.  I wanted it because M.I.A wore it in this video...



 

Here is a rather professional photograph of me sporting it...

 



 

I luuurve the colour.  It's a nice summery change from red and it goes on easily...but to take off not so much.  It left a bit of a orange stain but I worked it by putting some Vaseline over the top and it gave a nice subtle day time hue.  Um hello magazines, aren't I just a natural at being a beauty editor?  Gimme.

 



 

So if you look at the photo of me above and squint you will see no lines around my eyes.  Stop squinting and WHOAH.  OK slight exaggeration but times a ticking and shit is getting realz so I invested a whopping $18.95 and get a free NW magazine on this 'life changing' caffeine enriched roll on formula for the eyes by GARNIER.   I GUESS it's working...I can't really tell.  I'll let you know in 30 years.

 



 

Perfume time!  MAYBE BABY by BENEFIT is my mother fucking jam.  Well it was, because I lost it. Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!!  God and it's my 'date scent' it's so playful and provocative.  I'm not one to share my perfume secrets but this one is cool because it's a special occasion thing not my 'signature scent'  HAHA imagine your signature scent was by J-LO ! HAAAAAAAHAHA! I'm not impressed I lost this because it was virtually brand new and now it's gwaaaan :(  Whomever has it, spray it behind your ears, knee caps, in the crease of your arm and a light dust in the hair and then get naked.  And then give it back.

 

The Queen of Lime Crime


I while back I interviewed Doe Deere from LimeCrime cosmetics for YEN which went to print, and I discovered it on their site as well a couple of days ago. I'm all for double exposure :)

Lime Crime do reeedeeeekulos lipstick colours in blue, yellow and more Barbie pink than Barbies tiny little plastic pussy. You should check it out and colour your face in here and read the chat I had with Doe Deere - the lady behind it all here

My current beauty essentials Part 3

Hands up who actually buys the same product over and over?  Yeah me neither.  No matter how happy I am with what I currently use, I get secretly excited when it runs out 'cause I get to try something new.  I mean geez, the packaging is just so damn alluring. I did a beauty post a few months back here and then another one here for the thrifty.  I still swear by those products, but I've kinda moved on to a few new things only to return later to the others.  I keep this shit on rotation...makes life a little more interesting.

 

 

STUDIO SCULPT by M.A.C is something I have used in the past but went on to ARMANI FACE FABRIC which is just magnificent but sadly, so is the price. STUDIO SCULPT is a cheaper alternative.  It'll set you back 50 bucks where as the ARMANI bad boy is almost 90.  This M.A.C foundation is the perfect combo of coverage and lightness.  I HATE thick foundation but I like a bit of coverage...I also hate foundation that gives you a white face in photographs (note: anything that has the word 'reflective' in the name will give you a Casper face in pictures)  I use the colour NC30 'cause I am olive skinned and I can use something darker, but this product comes in a million different shades, going from our porcelain dolls to our ebony homegirls.  I can't stress enough that when it comes to foundation, you get what you pay for.  And please get someone to help you with the right colour...there are so many beautiful girlies out there with Dorito dust faces. Yuck.

 



 

I have always used my fingers to apply my foundation.  I always kinda felt that brushes were unnecessary and make up creators of the world just wanted my hard earned $$$ when my fingers cost me nothing.  So my sister is a make up artist, and whenever she did my face she used this 131 DUO FIBRE POWDER BRUSH by M.A.C to apply my face and my GOD it made a difference.  It somehow 'buffs' your skin and ensures coverage is even AND you don't use as much product. PLUS, how annoying is it when your fingers are full of beige gunk and you think you got it all off but then you see fingerprints on your light switch etc?  Yeah man, a brush is the way to go.  I am a convert.  They ain't cheap though...but then, you only need to fork out once if you look after it.  SO worth it.  I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

 

 

OK I'll be honest...I only went for a pressed powder by Chanel because I wanted the interlocked double C to be visible when I whipped it out to powder my nose...and chin and forehead (shit gets oily).  So I forked out the $60 to enhance my image. But you know what?  I did myself a French favor, because POUDRE UNIVERSELLE COMPACTE by Chanel is the shizz.  Not only do I look mega chic when I get it out, the actual product just glides on (God, I sound like one of dem lasses off the telly) ehrm, yeah so it glides on and when you lightly brush your fingers over your cheeks you can feel the silkiness of it all.  It really is quite a lovely product and plus it's CHANEL.

 

 

I didn't actually purchase this product, I got it free in a goodie bag at fashion week, but I'll tell you what, as soon as it's finished I'm buying me another...which is just what they wanted innit!?  L'OREAL VOLUME EXPAND VOLUME ROOT LIFT SPRAY has saved my life.  You just spray it on the top of your head, comb it through and then blowdry/GHD whatever and BAM you gots big hair yo!  Fuck I don't know what the hell happened to my locks in my twenties hey...hormones or some shit but it has gotten so damn fine! And not FINE but fine...ya know?  Love you L'Oreal Volume blah blah something!

 

 

It kinda makes me angry to blog about this TOPSHOP lipstick 'cause I have fucking lost mine.  Along with my drivers license and 50 bucks.  #$#%#^%# ANYWAY.  I have said before that my standard make up day look is bronzed skin, rosy cheeks, black eyeliner and pink lips.  I have always used BOMBSHELL by M.A.C but I picked up this TOPSHOP lippy on my last trip to Londres.  The colour is called 'Dessert' and delicious it is.  You can cop it on their website and I know Sydney have a store...not sure if they do the make up line though??  It's brighter than what I normally use but it's a mega flattering shade.  Now if I can only find it ...

 

 

I effin love JURLIQUE.  This is the HERBAL RECOVERY GEL, the sales staff call it 'a big drink of water for the skin' hell, I bought it!  I put it on at night before I go to bed and I wake up the next day looking like Miranda Kerr. No joke. OK not quite, but yeah it's pretty lush.  I now use the entire range...from cleanser, toner and moisturiser to the other things like the eye cream and exfoliator.  It's all natural and it's all made in South Australia.  Fuck, this shit sells for a pretty penny over in Europe but it's sooooo reasonable here hey.  It lasts and it works. It also smells well lovely and I honestly can't say a bad word about this brand.  They also enjoy giving away samples and free gifts, and I do love me a free anything.  Hop on the Jurlique train!  Trust me, you will heart this.

 


 

If money were no object, I would buy all of  the ARMANI cosmetic range.  But alas, I am more 'the other fella' than I am 'rockafella' so one product at a time will have to suffice.  GIORGIO ARMANI EYES TO KILL MASCARA is quite frankly, the perfect mascara.  The metal tube just reeks of expensive and you can just feel it wanking your eyelashes.  It's 30 dollars...meh, not toooo bad, but fuck it's worth it.  I have short, straight lashes and this really does help me achieve those long bambino eyelashes....along with curlers and falsies :(  I would hate to think what this stuff does to a lady with already long lashes...fuck you'd be tickling your forehead!  It also stays put yet is easy to remove. All in all it's a winner.

 

 

I am all for getting right dolled up on a night out and experimenting with different looks, but when it comes to my day face, I just want it to be streamlined and fast.  I have been searching for a day eyeshadow for ages and BENEFIT came to my rescue. God thats dramatic.  Anyhoo, BENEFIT CREAM SHADOW in BIRTHDAY SUIT is the perfect once over shadow.  You apply it with a short fluffy eyeshadow brush and it kinda looks like you have three different colours on your lids when all it is, is this bad boy.  Everyone (yeah everyone) always (yeah always) asks 'who did your eyes?' cause somehow, this looks hella profesh.  It's creaseless and stays put.  In fact, since buying this one I have started collecting all the colours because it honestly is a really great product.

 

 

EAU DYNAMISANTE how I love you.  I have used this CLARINS classic for years.  It's so clean smelling and isn't really a perfume but more like a 'body mist' type thing.  I like to use it for when I just get out the bath or shower before getting ready for bed.  It's got that real fresh, calming smell and makes you feel yummy.      Haha, I'm laughing 'cause I said 'yummy'.

 

 

This M.A.C LIP CONDITIONER is great for when you can't be ass'd with lipstick, yet you still want some colour in your smackers.  It also has an SPF of 15 and it smells sexual.  A great handbag staple and kills two birds with one stone, cause it enhances as well as conditions.  Fuck M.A.C you owe me big time.  Mainly cause I have bought like 30 of these over the years, can't you get one of those loyalty cards you get in coffee shops or something?  Money don't grow on tree's you know!

 

 

Me and bronzer are best mates.  I love being tanned.  My friend Alex over at MAYORETTES is the only other person I know who is as passionate about it, and thats only internet love!   I am always trying new bronzers, and I gotta tell ya, the cheapest are usually the best.  RIMMEL NATURAL BRONZER is something I'm trying at the moment and it's not half bad.  It's not as 'bronzey' as I would like, but maybe thats a good thing, otherwise my head would start looking like someone dipped the mother fucker in chocolate. Not sexy.

So there you have it!  I ain't no beauty guru, but I love beauty products.  And I ain't paid to say shit, so this is as honest as you gonna get it.  Until next time Owlies!  xxxx

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: Owl’s Beauty Essentials

Yup, I'm about to share with you my most fave products that ever lived - and trust me, I've done the legwork. I have such an obsession with make-up, skincare and fragrance because it is THE best treat you could possibly buy yourself. It's sole purpose in life is to make you a 'lil more bangin. (aw thanks guys!) Clothes just make you feel fat and food MAKES you fat so beauty products is where it's at! I'm not getting paid to promote any of these (although if anyone from these companies reads this post and want to throw some my way, gimme a holla!) So with no further delay, I give you: Owls Beauty Essentials.
I am a tan junkie. And it's no secret (as much as I try to keep it as one) that I hit the solarium from time to time. Yeah I know, naughty naughty but whatevs. Luckily I'm blessed with olive skin because of my dads Portuguese heritage, but alas, I have my mothers genetics too...and she is a ginger ninja (a nice one) which makes me pretty prone to freckles. St Tropez is a mother fuckin life saver. If I'm feeling ill, fat or gross I slap this brown miracle worker all over my bod. Hey! When I self hate I self tan! It is by far the best brand out there. I've used others and yeah they're OK but I always end up back with 'ol faithful. It looks the most natural, like I never get a 'Are you wearing fake tan?' question, I just get told 'You're looking well' which = win! Plus it doesn't have the minging chemical smell most of them have. Me and St Tropez are gonna be getting emotional together this winter, I can tell ya that RIGHT now.

Darphin skincare is the most amazing thing I've ever used ever, like EVER! Seriously. Years ago when I was living in London a friend got me onto this French marvel (of course it's French), I was feeling run down and having a skin crisis and she got me a couple of samples of the entire range. Within like 3 days my skin looked like a baby's ass after a warm bath. Increds! It's all natural and smells beeeeyewtiful. I seriously wanna root this product hey. It's a bit pricey, I ain't gonna lie, which is why I will admit, it's not always a bathroom staple for me. But when my bank account isn't undergoing rape or my skin looks like a bad day in Bosnia, I get my claws into this baby and my GOD it works. If you can't afford the whole range, get hold of the Cleansing Aromatic Emulsion - it's pretty much all you'll need. You can buy it from Mecca here in Aus, and Space NK, Harrods and Fenwick in London. To find out where to get it in your neck of the woods, peep it here.

I moisturise my entire self from head to toe after every shower. And I'm a sucker for the Body Shops Body Butters...Brazil Nut in particular. It smells so 'effin delicious I have to sometimes stop myself from licking my arm! Grapefruit is my fave in summer but I really am addicted to it's nuttier mate. It's fairly inexpensive and pretty much amazing. The only thing is though, is that it gets under my acrylics because it's in a tub. But that's my own fault for wanting hooker nails.

I looooooooove lipsticks. They are an as important accessory to my wardrobe as my jewellery. I have like 812 all up - OK, I only have 11, but you get my point. Now I like to wear it daily, and whilst I enjoy bright colours (I even have blue lippy) it's not exactly practical to be rocking rainbow lips everyday of the week. So my fave staple lip smacker is by my old friend M.A.C and the colour is 'BOMBSHELL'. I reapply this bad boy about 20 times a day and therefore go through alot of them. (Did you know if you take 6 empty M.A.C containers to the counter, they give you a free lipstick of your choice? It's all about recycling honey - true story) My favourite daily make-up look is bronzed skin, defined eyes, rosy cheeks and plump pink lips (oh get your mind outta the gutter). This colour helps me achieve said look so if that's your thing too, give it a whirl.

Now I didn't want this post to be all about M.A.C - especially as I do use alot of it. Hey it can't be helped, my younger sis is a M.A.C make-up artist so I get alotta loot, what can ya do? Anyhow, I wear liquid eyeliner every.single.day. And I have done for about 10 years. No joke. I have tried all of them. I really have. Even the cheap 2 quid one's from H&M.; Therefore I can categorically say that M.A.C's liquid eyeliner is the bomb diggidy. It lasts for aaaaaaages and it's precise. It has a texter like tip so it makes it hella easy to apply, and it comes in quite a few colours. Black liquid eyeliner does to the face what a Wonderbra does to your tits. Invest in this owlettes.

Ah yes, an obvious next choice after the liquid liner is the hall of fame red lippy. EVERYONE suits red lipstick. Ya just gotta find the right shade. An absolute winner is NARS lipstick in JUNGLE RED. It is seriously Gwen Stefani worthy. I am yet to see anyone who doesn't suit this colour red. Don't say you can't wear red because you have thin lips either...get all Kirsten Dunst about it and embrace the crimson honey. Red on the lips is classic, yet makes you look instantly contemporary - so you're going out and you are just wearing jeans, Converse and a white tshirt? Slap some red on your kisser and you'll look instantly fuckable. Hit up NARS in general though, it's a pretty radical brand. A few honourable mentions that I carry in my lipstick wardrobe as far as red hue's go is LADY DANGER by M-A-C (sozz) and RETROFURIST OPAQUE LIPSTICK by LIMECRIME - pretty much the colour Snow White woulda worn if she wasn't off shagging dwarfs.

As many of you are aware, I am pretty much married to my acrylic nails. Unfortunately they aren't too kind to your own nails or cuticles. Which is why I always make sure I apply hand cream throughout the day and especially at night before zzzzz. CLARINS HAND AND NAIL TREATMENT is bloody LUSH. It smells like heaven and makes your hands feel like 30 bucks. (That's how much it costs) - so worth it though! This shit is so addictive it's like hand cream crack.

When my folks were handing out eyelashes, I'm pretty sure my sisters got dibs on it 'cause it's almost as if I was given pubic hair by accident. For seez, my eyelashes are ridiculous - and not in a good way. Which is why I need all the help I can get! Eyelash curlers save my life. Hmmm, that sounded a bit dramatic, but Imma trying to get a point across 'ere! If your eyes are your window to your soul, then don't be skimping on them! shu uemura is pretty much the Rolls Royce of eyelash pimpers. Look into it.


Alright so just one more M.A.C thing OK? Ya know like how I was saying I like bronzed skin, pink lips, defined eyes and rosy cheeks? Well. look no further than this shade of amazing. The colour is called DOLLYMIX by (yawn) M.A.C and it makes my privates tingle. I love this colour hey. It may be a lil too bright for fairer girls but if you are feeling brave, give it a try. I usually prefer creamier blushes, but I really do love this little baby. You just gotta watch you don't pile too much on and end up looking like you applied your make up with a spatula. Ya get me?

Hands up who is addicted to lip balm??!!! Yeah man, it's mental. My lips get dryer than a nun's fanny if I don't apply some lubrication on the regular. CARMEX is THE BEST. Plus I love how it comes in a little yellow tin, it kinda gives it that retro feel. I first got hooked on this when I worked for Urban Outfitters, and we used to sell around 2000 of these suckers in a week! We kept them in cookie jars throughout the stores and they constantly needed refilling. You can get it at most pharmacies and I seriously suggest you do. I bet you're an addict after the first time you try it. Keep them kissers kissable ladies!


When I was a teenager I used to put so much foundation on, ya coulda scraped some off my jaw line and used it to fill the cracks in a wall! MAINLY because I fucking HATED my freckles. Now as I get a little, ehrm, older I have embraced the freckling and prefer lighter coverage and realised that as far as foundation goes...you get what you pay for. End of. GIORGIO ARMANI FACE FABRIC is actually what the name says. Your face feels like it's been swathed in a piece of beige silk. It is seriously in.sane. It covers just enough so you look relatively flawless (more flawless than you already are awww) but kinda gives the impression you aren't wearing any. Sound too good to be true? It ain't.

I am one of them girls that has to wash her hair daily. For some unGodly reason my hair is getting finer as I creep into my 30's, which is a pain in the tits, 'cause I HATE HATE fucking HATE flat hair. Then I came across this bad ass. And I'm glad I did, because it's basically the dictator of hair products, and my hair listens to everything it tells it to do. KMS HAIRPLAY is a dry wax in spray form that won't leave your hair feeling gunky and just kinda more manageable, especially after you've just washed it and it has the texture of bum fluff. I heart this very much.

Fragrance I think should be personal. Your signature scent should be kept under wraps and lie if someone asks you what you're wearing. (FYI, if your signature scent is a celeb fragrance...we need to talk). So I am keeping my lip zipped as far as my sig scent is concerned, but what I WILL share with you is what I wear on the not so special occasions, like normal days at work, the movies, whatever. I always get asked about this and it's LAURA MERCIER in CREME BRULEE. Obviously a scent named after a dessert is gonna be tasty. WARNING: You will get asked at least 3 times a day what you're wearing if you indulge in this.


I have advised you in countless previous posts to remove your make-up before you hit the pillow. Easier said than done when you roll in at 4am looking like something that lines the bottom of a birdcage and you would rather stick a fork in your eye than get involved in any sort of beauty regime. Face wipes is proof that God is a woman. NIVEA in my opinion are ze best. It's slightly creamier than other brands, and better at removing eye make-up without dragging the fine skin under the eye. You should be keeping this in your bag as well in case you spend the night in the company of a male, and you wake up the next morning resembling Pamela the Panda. Just run these under your eye and BAM! the dirt is gone. They are also great for when you just wanna refresh your make-up before you go out and haven't got time to shower. Just wipe this over your mug then reapply. God, it's scary how much you lot need me.

The two best things for a glowing complexion is loads of water and loads of sex. But if like me you are not indulging in the latter, you may wanna get your paws onto BENEFIT HIGH BEAM. I bloody love BENEFIT. The packaging is adorable (I am easily sucked in by a good container) and whilst it may look a bit 'novelty' it defs does the job. Just run this glorious stuff along your cheekbones and brow bones before (or after actually) your foundation and you will look like you've just had the lay of your life. Hey! Some of us have to make do with material things.

You are never to young to start using eye cream. Heck I wish I started when I was a toddler (gee thanks Mum). But I didn't so therefore I spend mega $$$ on it now. ELIZABETH ARDEN PREVAGE is literally like skin poly filler. It's almost as though you see the skin tighten right in front of your um, eyes. I realise that many probs couldn't afford this (me included) but I wanted to tell you about the best I have ever come across and seriously, this is it. It's supposed to have the foreskins of circumcised infants as one of it's ingredients (er....OK) so mabes that's why it's a squillion dollars. But man oh man, I'd bath in this shit if I could...baby penis and all.

Ok so it wasn't 10...more like 16. Whatever man, I can do what I want. Lemme know if any of you use any of these, and if you don't and you give any a try, tell a girl what you think. How dope is it being a lady hey? Fuck being a man. If they are fugly, there ain't much homeboy can do about it.
Love ya xx

IT’S A CRIME NOT TO GO LIME

Soz for the lame play on words but I'm feeling a lil girly today. And I have to stress how much I friggin love LIME CRIME cosmetics. Seriously. Like Doe Deere (the creator) says, this is the usual lipstick colour palette...
I mean, it might as well be ...(shock horror)...beige!
So she answered my prayers and introduced these bad boys...
Let's be honest...make-up is grown up candy. you would be seriously bonkers not to treat yourself. Click on the banners on the side or the bottom of my blog and spoil ya selves.
I want no beige ladies at the Owl party! 27 FEB!!!!! XXXX

OH no she didn’t…

Oh yes I did! After an unsuccessful hunt for blue lipstick a dear friend put me onto this fresh website called Lime Crime and I found the perfect shade of smurf! Don't be too much in awe with my out-of-the box thinking ... I was actually inspired by this photo...



And to my utter joy, I peep'd Acclaims new cover and the broad on there is sporting a lovely sky hue lippy too. Gee, aren't I just like sooo fashion forward? So anyway, Lime Crime saved the day and I found it!

The brand was started by a bodacious Russian lady named Doe Deere, who is based in New York. She specializes in high impact colour and pure dopeness (real word). Check the fiery haired, unicorn loving temptress out..

That's one hot mama, and she obvs knows her stuff!Come on, don't tell me you aren't licking your smackers at the sheer possibilities of these delectable shades of lippy? And that's not all...Lime Crime do a ridic amount of eye shadows that'll make your lids look like mini candy stores. Get your plastic card out and get shopping for these bad boys, 'cause at 16 bucks a pop for a lipstick and 12 big ones for the magic dust that are her eye shadows, you can't really go wrong, now can you doll face?


So if you want to purchase said goodness and check out Doe's uber cute blog, click on the ad on the side of this page, or the banner at the bottom and it'll link you straight up to cosmetic heaven. That is if your idea of heaven is fresh make-up resembling a jar full of sweets. If not...then we have nothing in common. Unless you enjoy a bit of manhood, then I guess we do.

Peace out sugar plums x