I was flicking through stations on the drive into work this morning and suddenly Creep by Radiohead filled my little Nissan Micra.  To be honest if it were halfway through the song I would have kept on flicking but it was like in the movies when they go to switch on the radio and as if by magic the perfect song comes on that pretty much sums up the entire scene and it happens to be just as the radio presenter is introducing it before he plays it right from the start.  That is what happened this morning.  I was thinking about this blog. The Obnoxious Owl. Tammy the Owl blogger.  The ridiculous persona that I have created and can't seem to keep up with these days. Then I flicked on the radio and Thom Yorke started singing and it all clicked into place.

I started thinking about how great, how iconic this song is and how sick he must be of singing it.  But it must be such a crowd pleaser when they decide to bust it out at a gig.  Even though you might flick through the song when it comes on the radio whilst driving like you probably would Wonderwall by Oasis or Paper Planes by M.I.A, you would be pretty wrapped and happy to hear it when you're at the live gig and they decided to play it.  They probably just perform it now on auto, not even thinking about it like its a chore.  A small bit of them must die inside that it still gets the people going and nothing new they ever perform is ever going to get the same reaction then instantly feel ungrateful because it was probably because of that very song that put them in the position to release new material and be more free in the creative sense in the first place.

Then think about us, the listener.  We want to embrace their new stuff as much as the old stuff because we also want to evolve and enjoy new things.  We tell everyone that we are 'over that song' but secretly love it when we hear it.  How many people now claim to 'love' Gotye but really, they only like that one track.  Then they fork out money on a ticket to see him and he might decide not to play probably the biggest hit of his life that he will probably never match, I guarantee 90% of the crowd will say he was rubbish even though they know deep down he wasn't, they're just feeling disappointed and were bored. So many of us do that hey?  Go to a gig to hear our favourite tunes and stand there feeling pretty bored until they play it and could quite easily go home once they have but we don't because we know how super lame that would be.

The other night I was going through old posts on this thing.  I really used to say some shit hey? God damn.  No wonder my mother stopped talking to me for a while.  Reading back is kind of like looking at old photos of myself from the nineties.  I cringe and almost don't recognise myself but then I have to remind myself that is was all relevant at the time.

I started writing this because I felt like I had something to say. Writing so openly about sex and other risque subjects whilst trying to keep some mystique has been difficult.  I have allowed room for assumption.  So many assume that I have written about my own experiences and I've never tried to correct anybody. It started out suggestive and then kind of became my crowd pleaser. I would have to sneak it in mid paragraph to keep my audience interested...to trick them into reading my new stuff.  I have moulded and shaped this persona and while it was completely appropriate and relevant at the time, I have outgrown it yet still feel compelled to give the people what they want.  Editors and interviewers want me to be apart of their publications and always give me the same brief, 'Don't hold back' and I don't.  Don't get me wrong, I am naturally out spoken and feel strongly about all things taboo and like to give my opinion with my tongue firmly placed in my cheek but I catch myself saying things for the sake of saying things and either over compensate or underwhelm.  I have made my bed so to speak.

So this little blog turns 3 this weekend. 3 Years of laughs, tears, shocks and horrors.  This says more about my life from the transition of twenty something party animal to thirty something grown up than any photo album ever could.  Reading between the lines will tell you even more if you have the skill to do that.   Don't worry , this isn't an announcement about me throwing the baby out with the water or anything. It's very easy to rest on my laurels by busting out the crowd pleasers and embracing the notoriety and high Google analytics stats that come with it but then I would just become a whisper of who I actually am.  Sure if I continued delivering the goods that sell, the big hits, I would probably be as rich and famous as the Black Eyed Peas!  Nobody wants to be like the Black Eyed Peas.

So let's raise our glasses! Here's to growing up, to evolving, to reading between the lines and to feeling good and knowing what to put out as your latest release and what is best kept for the greatest hits.