17/05/2012
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Do you guys ever feel like you've lost your zest for life? No seriously, I'm not going emo on you or anything I just kinda feel a bit 'blah' you know? Not depressed or unmotivated just a little 'meh'. 'Blah' and 'meh' are such beige words...inoffensive and kinda unnecessary, that's how I currently feel. Work is cool, its challenging and I really want to do well and not let people down and life in Melbourne is going swimmingly but I just feel as though I'm existing lately. It could be because I haven't travelled in a minute but sometimes I think that my life as a gypsy was more filled with drama than it was exciting. No it's not because of that because I like Melbourne. It fits like a hoodie right out of the dryer on a cold day. It feels right.
Maybe it's because up until now my life has been a perpetual Seinfeld episode and I'm not even kidding. I sometimes think that I may be the kind of person that gets high off drama. I am trying to become a person that can take things in their stride and just be cool and not over think things. Fuck those guys! I'm so jealous of them. Sure, they're prolly imploding and may be rocking themselves to sleep every night while they cry and wank simultaneously but at least they LOOK like they've got their shit together right? I don't know, just a thought.
Actually, I know what it is. It's this, this place where we all are right now, this black hole that lures you with it's seductive ways only to spit you out when it's finished with you and won't even miss you when you're gone. The Internet. It's so fucking self important. It even insists you spell it with a capital letter in Microsoft Office. Does it ask you to spell 'book' with a capital? Or 'newspaper'? Or 'film'? No. No it does not. These things are not important according to this soul sucking abyss of a bastard. I feel two faced for even tapping such 'tings when I think about how much space I've occupied online. When I think about the little world I've carved for myself here. I am now the OWL, or the OWL lady or that OWL blogger. I don't even like Owls! I mean, they're OK. They're cute and they have big eyes which I like, because I have big eyes. My nan, bless her heart, used to call me a little Owl because of my peepers but I'd much rather have been compared to something more tropical like a parrot, or something quirky and feminine like a flamingo. But no, I'm the Owl lady. Which is about two seconds away from being a cat lady. Sweet. I guess I could be a penguin? I dunno, whatever. Owls are cool. ANYWAY, I digress...
The World Wide Web. As I was saying, I've done OK by it..I guess. I read back on some of these posts and you could probably see me cringe from space. But it's like looking back on photographs of yourself as a kid when you had a spiral perm (Loooooord knows why I permed my already curly hair?!?) and rocked dungarees with only one strap done up, Timbaland boots and a BOYZ 2 MEN tshirt. Sure I looked wack but at the time? Woooooo child, I was rocking 'dem dungarees. I thought I was the shit. It's like this blog...everything made sense at the time.
So yeah, feeling unzesty. I haven't bought new threads in ages, I'm not even pumped to get my nails done, I have 3 half read books next to my bed...no actually it's 4! (I just checked) Oh my God, the 23 year old me would hate me so much right now. It's kinda weird though because I'm not even that active online as much as I used to be, ya know? I'm not saying I'm online instead of reading words printed on paper, I'm saying that the internet has turned me into a somewhat jaded and diluted version of my former self. There is just way too much info on here and I'm a sucker for it. Nothing shocks me any more, nothing begs for my attention other than all those unread books and the list of movies I've been meaning to watch that I've written in my journal. I did go see Prince the other night though and that was awesome. I left feeling inspired and fired up and happy. All great things to feel. But then I can't rely on Prince coming to town whenever I'm feeling 'eurgh'. So how to break the cycle? How to rewind a bit and get back to basics? I don't reckon it's something you can wean yourself off, I reckon it's flat out cold turkey steeze I gotta get with.
This is cool, doing some posting. This is normal. But what I should do when I'm done is close the computer, get into bed and finish that pile of books. I actually have to do that because 2 of them I have to give back to friends. So this is me, logging off. I suggest you do it to.
Bye.
12/05/2012
The sun will come out tomorrow
Today I had big plans to meet some deadlines because they have been making some really loud WHOOSH noises as they go over my head and quite frankly, its deafening. I scribbled a massive 'to do' list, went to the grocery store, made an omelette, got the odd job guy in to do some um, odd jobs around the house like change the bulbs in my impossibly high ceilings, fix the toilet roll holder...that sort of 'ting. Then I sat down in front of this computer and watched MasterChef for the last 2 hours. Believe me, the irony that I procrastinated to write something about procrastination is not lost on me.
Last Wednesday me and Alex went to the Wheeler Centre to listen to Australian writer Kathy Lette talk about her new book. *side note* Alex and I are working on honing our craft and keeping our little minds stimulated with some culture besides drowning ourselves in red wine and gossip. Anyway! Kathy Lette! She was great. Having not grown up down under, I had no clue who she was but Al is doing a great job of introducing me to the Aus literary world - and she did good introducing me to Kathy. She is hilarious and candid and besides having a few outdated references, she is pretty on point with things. For example, she brought up the whole 'women are great multi taskers' thing. Is it really that much of a great thing? No it most fucking is not. Like she says, that just means we are expected to do so much more and why? Because we can. In all honesty I am really jealous of men's tunnel vision. They get shit done. Don't get me wrong, we do to but it takes a little longer and we get about 10 things done and they are all 'OK' whilst most of the time, the male human produces one thing and one thing only but my God will the standard be top notch.
Like now for instance, it has taken me about 40 minutes to write the above. Why? Because I stopped to sweep the bathroom, water the cactus, make a cup of coffee, like someone's instagram photo and put on a load of washing. I hate myself.
For the majority of my childhood I'm pretty sure I used to think my name was actually 'FOCUS' because that was yelled at me more than 'TAMMY'. Every night before I go to bed I half heartedly punch the pillow because I didn't even make a dent in my mountain of 'to do's but I pretty much smashed my 'don't's'. I read books or articles and think, 'Wow, I could write like that!' But I don't. I just don't. There is a reason why masturbate rhymes with procrastinate.
Apparently being a procrastinator is nurtured. And like most things, it stems from childhood. A particularly controlling parent keeps children from learning how to regulate themselves and from internalizing their own intentions and/or procrastination is yet another form of rebellion. But come on, blaming one's parents is just so 2003 girlfriend! When I turned 30 I was done blaming Mum for putting me on a diet since I was six or Dad putting the fear of God in me about money. Your mind, unlike your body, should get better with age and a true adult takes some responsibility for things. SO THERE GOES THAT IDEA.
Other symptoms of procrastinators: They lie to themselves by saying they will feel more like doing whatever it is they need to do tomorrow. CHECK! Their booze consumption is higher than most because of problems with self regulation. Well...I don't actually drink that much but when I do I go ham so CHECK! Procrastinators tell themselves they work better under pressure so they leave things till the last minute. SEMI CHECK! (I only work well under pressure because then you have no bloody choice to get shit done.)
AARRGGHH! I just checked twitter/facebook - cue self loathing.
So what now? A lot of psychic energy. That's what. I mean I guess I could beg the dodgy Vietnamese doctor on Victoria Street for a Ritalin prescription but that's not exactly ideal. That's a short term answer to a long term problem. Google tells me I need 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy' but they can get fucked. I tried therapy last year and all the shrink did (his name was Dr Squirrel by the way, not relevant to the story, but it's getting a bit serious so I thought it needed some comic relief) anyway, all he did was take one of his little books off his little shelf and read what was 'wrong' with me. Yeah thanks for that mate.
I know what's wrong with me! I am God damn petrified of failure and ironically, the thought of success brings me to my knees as well. I mean, it's a lot less scarier to allow people to think I lack motivation than I do ability...you know? So I need to get over myself basically. Get out there. Take risks. Give it my best shot. Keep my eyes on the prize. Block out distractions. Finish this book I'm writing. Do some research for work. Return emails. Go to the gym. Reaffirm my reasons for wanting to do things.
And I will do all of that, in a minute...
- You never feel self concious around them. This stems from not being afraid of being judged...because let's be honest, we all fear being judged. Even when people go, 'I don't give a fuck, I do what I want' - they actually fear it the most because they need to make such a grand gesture about NOT fearing it, you feel me? It's ironic that when we are at our weakest, our lowest, our most worthless selves and when we need people the most, we shy away from others and hide. Because everyday is a struggle to live up to the person you have created and not the person you are. Some people see that person (not many) and those guys are real. Whoah....that's like so deep man!
- On a lighter note, a true friend will allow it when you take selfies and will also oblige in taking outfit shots and try to capture you at your most flattering and put a dope filter on it.
- A true friend WILL NOT and I repeat W.I.L.L - N.O.T upload a photo of you looking shit. This is also a bit of a grey area, because we have warped perceptions of ourselves, so some photos where we think we look wack we actually look kinda tight to everyone else so a true friend will KNOW which photos you will approve and which you won't so much. Although sometimes they may need to over ride a decision that you may thank them for later. This is not a petty subject! I have witnessed friendships evaporate over this shit.
- They will hold you hair back and rub your back when you vomit. But in all seriousness, you should have outgrown this by now. Still, if it were to happen they would be there.
- They will never creep on the dude you fancy EVEN if there is no way in Hell you stand the slightest chance with him, they will respect your dibs. However, if YOU were a true friend and you saw that they had chemistry, you would not stand in the way of fate. Friendship is push and pull people. But we all have THAT friend that only starts finding someone to be attractive once you've called it. Yeah, THOSE guys are not pals.
- You will never be on a 3 strikes and you're out system with a true friend. They would never wash their hands of you if you keep fucking up. But again, the give and take factor plays a massive role here. You do not want to be keep fucking up and expecting tea and sympathy because that, my friend, is taking the piss.
- They will 'like' your FB updates and instagram photos even if they're boring. And on this note, they'll tell you if you're being boring. They will also tell you when to pull your head in.
- You will generally feel good about yourself around a real friend. You will feel challenged (in a good way) because they will expect you to be the best YOU that you can be. You will feel inspired and most of all, you will feel safe.
- You will laugh.
- You will cry.
- You will dance.
- You will never, ever, ever feel used. Not even once. Not even for half a second.
- You will subconsciously strive to become a better human.
- You will never hear something they have said about you before you have heard it from them.
- They won't ditch you. And those who have been ditched will know what I mean. Ditch rhymes with bitch innit?
- They won't compete. If you have a mate who is always LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!' You know they are never looking at you, unless it's up and down and when you're not looking.
- A true amigo will not lure you into a false sense of security so that you share your secrets which they can exploit later.
- The following things only exist in pseudo friendships/friendships for the world to see and not the ones that are treasured: 1) constant messages and youtube videos left on facebook walls with 'I love you so much, you're such a good friend blah blah blah' when you live in the same city. Who you trying to convince? 2) matching outfits/tattoos/opinions - this reeks of insecurity. 3) doing everything together, everyday with no one else but each other. So unhealthy! Have other friends! Have different experiences! Otherwise, what have you got to talk about? 4) Being 'married' on facebook. 5) I was going to mention another social network friendship that doesn't translate into real life example here but you get the picture.
- And then there is you. You are the person you attract. Shit attracts flies. You don't want to be a needy charity case. You want to be a human being that experiences ups and downs, highs and lows, assholes and babes...someone going through life basically. And in this life, you need some witnesses. Otherwise, who will say nice stuff at your wedding/funeral/behind your back? To have a friend is to be a friend. Now think hard about who fits in with what I've said. Can you think of one? You're lucky. Hold tight.
I STARTED THIS BLOG WHEN I WAS 27 AND I SAID IT THEN AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN...USE EYE CREAM.
It dun even have to be expensive! Just get lashing some moisture under your peepers quick smart because those lines are TELL TALE. Eyes, back of your hands and your neck. Start now! Moisturise! Don't leave it. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
NOW IS THE TIME TO QUIT YOUR WHINING.
Shit just ain't cute. You're supposed to know better, be independent, have a better idea of problem solving, be a woman of the world etc etc. Teenagers and stupid bitches that do the Kardashian baby talk can kinda get away with tantrum throwing and being emotionally unstable so the big, heroic man will come and save them. But seriously, you gotta sort that out as you head into your thirties. More assertive less annoying.
START WORKING OUT.
In you're thirties you are still 'young' but in 10 years time people will start saying things like 'you look so good for your age!' and you know what? You will. If you work out. Now is the time! Get serious. The party is semi over, say bonjour to your twenties and the frivolity and recklessness that went with it, and start thinking about your future! And by future, I mean your looks. Eye cream and the tread mill are your friendsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
AVOID THE TEENAGE PARTIES.
MAINLY because you'll get irritated and whine (refer to 2nd segment of this post) And here's the thing: You are in THEIR world if you are at one of THEIR parties, they don't give a shit if your old ass is there or not so don't huff and puff and get wound up because everyone is so 'childish' and talk about boring shit and their hair for about an hour when you have no place being there in the first place. But when in Rome and all that...so either drink the cheap booze that tastes like candy or take your ass home and put on some eye cream.
IF YOU'RE PUSHING 30 AND YOU ARE SINGLE DO NOT GET A FUCKING CAT.
Laying in bed with your anti wrinkle cream and your cat, watching Sex and the City and wondering whether you're a 'Carrie' or a 'Charlotte' and trying to convince yourself that you don't actually even want to get married is so lame hey. Go rub a different kind of pussy and pop a bottle of vino.
YOU CAN STILL DRESS YOUNG!
Just with a little more decorum is all. Push that boundary because once you cross the line there is no going back. Especially on the right side of 36, you can get away with loads! Just look after your face, that's the give away. I can't stress it enough. So sunscreen, eye cream and get more sleep. Also, avoid 'cute' go for 'hot' or 'sexy' but 'cute' is for the kids and Thai prostitutes.
NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
Maybe an ex boyfriend fucked you up and you have 'trust issues', maybe your parents were weird and gave you your insecurities and complex's as a kid, maybe you were bullied at school WHO KNOWS, thing is, you can use that as your crutch for only a while, but now you have to go, 'OK sure, this person/situation was a fuck wit in my life, but now it's time to build a bridge, and long jump over it'. Honey, you are about to enter a decade of better self worth, higher self esteem, sexual peak! (apparently). You don't want all that lame ass baggage coming into this new time of your life. Cut it off like the gangrenous limb that it is and free yourself of this shit once and for all. Whatever you don't like, change it. I do hate a cliche, but life really is too short. Like srsly, how quick did 30 come round? Exactly.
HEY YA'LL!! Sorry. Caps. I've been to gym and had 3 coffee's so I'm feeling a little ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG! Ya know?
Anyway, let's get cracking...
Guys. I'm annoyed with myself . Wanna know why? Because I have only decided now to get my hands on YSL TOUCHE ECLAT. I don't know what the Hell I was thinking fucking with anything else. It's like a cult under eye concealer, and me having hereditary dark circles under my eyes I thought I'd just ignore the best thing on the market. Yup. I'm a moron. Apparently one is sold every three seconds world wide! You can literally get them everywhere and they are always about $50...some discount pharmacies do it for 25 bucks (so I've heard) but I'd pay thousands to be honest. I look about 1.5 years younger and no one will tell you are hungover with this smeared under your peepers. Truth. I got mine off STRAWBERRY NET...free shipping holler! What a website! What a concealer! Go get 'em!
Went into MAC yesterday to get my usual setting powder (God dudes must read this and think 'WTF?') and took my 6 empty MAC containers and got my free lipstick. Yo, did you know they do that? It's a genius idea. Other cosmetic companies should follow suit. Unless they do and I don't know about it? Tell me your secrets! I am set with bright lipstick colours because of my vast LIME CRIME collection, so I go for a kissable pink for everyday wear. I spoke once about BOMBSHELL which is the colour I usually go for but SURPRISE SURPRISE they had no stock. Do you guys find MAC are always out of stock of errthang? Well I bloody do. Well I guess it was a blessing because I tried this colour called PLEASE ME. And it does. So I guess it's a win. Plus it was free. So I'll stop whinging.
Speaking of MAC, I usually buy their FLUIDLINE which I have spoken about before. However, it's like nearly $40. And I'm watching dem pennies at the moment, so I was like fuck that. I copped this MAYBELLINE EYE STUDIO for $16 just at the supermarket and it was actually the most intelligent thing I did all week. It comes with the brush and the consistency is not as gel like as the MAC one but my God there is virtually no difference hey... I am actually never going to buy the MAC one every again. There. I said it.
In other supermarket purchase reviews, Let's talk hair. ORGANIX is quite frankly the bomb. I used to buy the Brazilian one which I reviewed last year and then I tried them all out, you know, just so I didn't get bored...and ding ding ding we have a winner! I am all over this Coconut goodness. My hurrr feels just wonderful and it smells like the beach. What's not to love? OK usual supermarket brands are like $5 to $8 and this one is $15 but you can't really put a price on good hair now can you? I find it straightens easier and is way more manageable since using this and you know what? I'm worth it.
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Anyway, let's get cracking...
Guys. I'm annoyed with myself . Wanna know why? Because I have only decided now to get my hands on YSL TOUCHE ECLAT. I don't know what the Hell I was thinking fucking with anything else. It's like a cult under eye concealer, and me having hereditary dark circles under my eyes I thought I'd just ignore the best thing on the market. Yup. I'm a moron. Apparently one is sold every three seconds world wide! You can literally get them everywhere and they are always about $50...some discount pharmacies do it for 25 bucks (so I've heard) but I'd pay thousands to be honest. I look about 1.5 years younger and no one will tell you are hungover with this smeared under your peepers. Truth. I got mine off STRAWBERRY NET...free shipping holler! What a website! What a concealer! Go get 'em!Went into MAC yesterday to get my usual setting powder (God dudes must read this and think 'WTF?') and took my 6 empty MAC containers and got my free lipstick. Yo, did you know they do that? It's a genius idea. Other cosmetic companies should follow suit. Unless they do and I don't know about it? Tell me your secrets! I am set with bright lipstick colours because of my vast LIME CRIME collection, so I go for a kissable pink for everyday wear. I spoke once about BOMBSHELL which is the colour I usually go for but SURPRISE SURPRISE they had no stock. Do you guys find MAC are always out of stock of errthang? Well I bloody do. Well I guess it was a blessing because I tried this colour called PLEASE ME. And it does. So I guess it's a win. Plus it was free. So I'll stop whinging.
Speaking of MAC, I usually buy their FLUIDLINE which I have spoken about before. However, it's like nearly $40. And I'm watching dem pennies at the moment, so I was like fuck that. I copped this MAYBELLINE EYE STUDIO for $16 just at the supermarket and it was actually the most intelligent thing I did all week. It comes with the brush and the consistency is not as gel like as the MAC one but my God there is virtually no difference hey... I am actually never going to buy the MAC one every again. There. I said it.In other supermarket purchase reviews, Let's talk hair. ORGANIX is quite frankly the bomb. I used to buy the Brazilian one which I reviewed last year and then I tried them all out, you know, just so I didn't get bored...and ding ding ding we have a winner! I am all over this Coconut goodness. My hurrr feels just wonderful and it smells like the beach. What's not to love? OK usual supermarket brands are like $5 to $8 and this one is $15 but you can't really put a price on good hair now can you? I find it straightens easier and is way more manageable since using this and you know what? I'm worth it.
Oi my mum bought me this Sarah Jessica Parker fragrance for Christmas and I was like, 'Bitch you crazy' - but I am going to eat my words on this one because it actually ain't bad. It's my Monday to Friday work fragrance and I get loads of compliments! (OK like 2 but still) and the bottle is quite pretty and SJP is the lesser evil of celeb endorsed shit so yeah, I am down with COVET. Try it! In fact, it's almost winter (or summer if you're reading this in the Northern Hem) so maybe it's time for a fragrance makeover? Treat yourself.
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YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING.
People bond with each other by sharing something new and interesting and then shutting up and learning. Give and take. Push and Pull. Sometimes, like maybe, if you want, start a sentence with, 'Oh really? I never knew that!' instead of, 'Well funny you should say that, because I am also just as interesting as you are!' Nothing to prove when meeting new people hey, it's not a job interview. Chill out.
BE FUN.
I don't mean be 'crazy' and arrange sky diving weekends and shit like that. Just be up for stuff. Stay up a bit late. Agree to go to a gig even though it's not really the music you're in to. Be silly and laugh. Be spontaneous and infectious and someone people want to be around. Stop going on and on about what you 'don't do i.e. "I don't do facebook/twitter/iPhones. I don't have a TV. I don't drink' WELL WHOOPY DOO FOR YOU! What do you do then hmm? Not doing those things is fine, but BE COOL, you don't need to shout about it and make a big point of it. Enough of what you don't and more of what you do. If what you're not doing defines you instead of what you are doing then honey, you gots a problem yo.
JUST DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.
It really is that simple. Be nice. Bring something to the table. Encourage and give credit where credit is due. Ask for help when you need it and be grateful and thankful. Take praise and say thank you. Use your skills and resources to help others and you'll find they'll often do the same back...unless they're also an asshole, then they probably won't.
GET A ROUND IN.
Buy some drinks and maybe shout a friend a fucking coffee from time to time eh?
THROW SOME SUGGESTIONS OUT.
Are you a 'I'll first see what someone else has planned and if I like it I'll take part and if I don't I'll just stay in and think about how awesome I am' kind of person?
TALK ABOUT YOURSELF LOADS AND YOUR 'PERSONAL STYLE'
It's not boring at all. People love it.
DON'T BE SO SELECTIVE.
Variety is the spice of life. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Um....I can't think of any more cliche's. So what if they dress different, talk different, are older than you, younger than you or listen to shit music? Find common ground, get to know, expand your horizons. But DO NOT be friends with crack heads and people who love hiring limos. They will just drag you down.
MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES AND BE GENUINE ABOUT IT.
Don't be a kiss ass, but be someone people want to be around because they feel better for it. Then you'll feel better about YOURSELF. Truth.
EXERCISE.
I thought everyone was talking shit. Turns out they weren't. There is not enough time to over think and feed paranoia when you are going ham on the cross trainer. I recommend joining a gym, they actually aren't THAT excy hey. I mean, you are probs gonna give up things like loads of booze and shit food so it balances. It's not even really about losing weight, I feel like that's a bonus, it's really about clearing the head. Invest in cute workout gear, it's a total motivation to get your ass moving. There is nothing I can say to convince you really, you just got to do it. Admittedly, I am in the honeymoon phase of working out, I'll let you know how I'm tracking in a month.
DELETING AND BLOCKING.
Do it. Get rid. Move on. Knocking on a wall dun turn it into a door as Coco Chanel or someone French once said. It probably sounded cooler in French to be fair. As do most things.
WAKING UP EARLY AND EATING BREAKFAST.
You totally feel more in control of your day. There is also something really peaceful about mornings. ALTHOUGH the sound of my alarm does not softly nudge me into action, it's more of a sudden jolt of panic. So I'm not really sure how good this advice is, but still. Waking up early and not rushing in the morning lowers stress levels for sure.
SEE A FILM. LISTEN TO MUSIC. GO TO A GALLERY.
Get some culture in your fucking life for God's sake. Be inspired. Take it all in. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.
DON'T TALK ABOUT PEOPLE.
Unless the gossip is hilarious. Then by all means. No but srsly, stay away from drama. The saying, 'Drama just follows me' is a pile of wank. You lure it with your seductive ways. Stop it.
DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT INDULGING.
Guilt and jealousy are emotions that are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. They do nobody any good. Go buy those sneakers you've been salivating over for months, have a piece of cake, sleep in, take holiday, go for a massage, have sex all day. But remember, everything in moderation....except the sex part.
WRITE.
Even if it's just a sentence before you go to bed. Even if you just list everything you ate that day. Even if it's just a letter to someone who pissed you off that you will never send. Every day write something down. You'll be amazed at the messages your sub concious wants to convey. Everyone can talk and everyone can write. Write down words as they come into your head and turn them into sentences. It doesn't even have to make sense as you are the only one who will ever read it. Just get it all out. WRITE IT DOWN.
CHEER UP BUTTERCUP.
Smile. It's not so bad. Except sometimes it is that bad and you can't help that. But after the rain the sun must come...and it always will.
Here we have it folks, the new things I love to use and then convince myself that they were worth every penny via the medium of the interwebz.
BARRY M is no secret to our UK buddies who can cop this fantastic brand all over the place in their cold ass country. They srsly do errrthang and do it well. I would buy this stuff over MAC any day if I had the convenience of it just down the road or something. Anyway, I only own a couple of make up brushes and some nail varnish. It's weird for me to own nail varnish actually because I always get my acrylics done every 2 weeks on the dot and I'm not one of them people who take in their own polish...ya know? I bought some on my last trip to the UK because I wanted blue toe nails to match my blue mood. Then the other day the nail lady effed up my nails so big time and I couldn't be arsed to go back and get her to do it again so I painted my girls blue. See...
I love me some BARRY M. Give their lippy's a go as well, they have more colours than South Africa.
Meet my new boyfriend. *pause* OK so as I've gotten older my hair has gotten finer and my bathroom floor now has a luxurious mane, therefore I have been forced to leave my hair au natural which is curly. Curls = body and Lord knows I need it. So, I was inspired by Rihanna (yes really) and thought I'd curl my curls! CRAZY. Not really. Any hoooo I went to PRICE LINE to get me some tongs. BOY WHAT A VARIETY! I ended up choosing this guy because it's tapered at the end and it gives your curl bounce at the root and makes the end a bit tighter. I am so glad I did this because it just kinda adds a little more POW! (yes pow) to my hair and gives them more definition. HAHA I sound like a wanker. Well....so is your mum. I am all about BABYLISS I gots the hair dryer and the electric rollers. This thing was only $70 and goes right up to a heat setting of 25 degrees! Plus it's ceramic coated and when it's not hot you can...yep. Also, look how the little buttons make a face kinda haha! OK so after you've curled your hurrr...
Toss your hair forward and spray liberally with L'OREAL ELNETT HAIRSPRAY. This is cult hairspray and is used backstage at all the shows darling. It has been on the circuit for yonks and I kinda want to get the woman on the can tattooed hmmmm...dun steal my idea! The can is huge and will last forevs and is only 10 dolla and the best bit is, is that it is non sticky. HOO RAH.
Apologies to LIME CRIME because they asked me ages ago which lipstick I wanted so I could talk it up for all ya'll. Now I'm not one for blogging shit just because I got something for free but if I like it then I shall and I have been banging on about Lime Crime since 2009. So I asked the lovely PR lady for MY BEAUTIFUL ROCKET because I have wanted a really orange lipstick for a while now. OK I'm lying. I wanted it because M.I.A wore it in this video...
Here is a rather professional photograph of me sporting it...
I luuurve the colour. It's a nice summery change from red and it goes on easily...but to take off not so much. It left a bit of a orange stain but I worked it by putting some Vaseline over the top and it gave a nice subtle day time hue. Um hello magazines, aren't I just a natural at being a beauty editor? Gimme.
So if you look at the photo of me above and squint you will see no lines around my eyes. Stop squinting and WHOAH. OK slight exaggeration but times a ticking and shit is getting realz so I invested a whopping $18.95 and get a free NW magazine on this 'life changing' caffeine enriched roll on formula for the eyes by GARNIER. I GUESS it's working...I can't really tell. I'll let you know in 30 years.
Perfume time! MAYBE BABY by BENEFIT is my mother fucking jam. Well it was, because I lost it. Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!! God and it's my 'date scent' it's so playful and provocative. I'm not one to share my perfume secrets but this one is cool because it's a special occasion thing not my 'signature scent' HAHA imagine your signature scent was by J-LO ! HAAAAAAAHAHA! I'm not impressed I lost this because it was virtually brand new and now it's gwaaaan
Whomever has it, spray it behind your ears, knee caps, in the crease of your arm and a light dust in the hair and then get naked. And then give it back.
BARRY M is no secret to our UK buddies who can cop this fantastic brand all over the place in their cold ass country. They srsly do errrthang and do it well. I would buy this stuff over MAC any day if I had the convenience of it just down the road or something. Anyway, I only own a couple of make up brushes and some nail varnish. It's weird for me to own nail varnish actually because I always get my acrylics done every 2 weeks on the dot and I'm not one of them people who take in their own polish...ya know? I bought some on my last trip to the UK because I wanted blue toe nails to match my blue mood. Then the other day the nail lady effed up my nails so big time and I couldn't be arsed to go back and get her to do it again so I painted my girls blue. See...
I love me some BARRY M. Give their lippy's a go as well, they have more colours than South Africa.
Meet my new boyfriend. *pause* OK so as I've gotten older my hair has gotten finer and my bathroom floor now has a luxurious mane, therefore I have been forced to leave my hair au natural which is curly. Curls = body and Lord knows I need it. So, I was inspired by Rihanna (yes really) and thought I'd curl my curls! CRAZY. Not really. Any hoooo I went to PRICE LINE to get me some tongs. BOY WHAT A VARIETY! I ended up choosing this guy because it's tapered at the end and it gives your curl bounce at the root and makes the end a bit tighter. I am so glad I did this because it just kinda adds a little more POW! (yes pow) to my hair and gives them more definition. HAHA I sound like a wanker. Well....so is your mum. I am all about BABYLISS I gots the hair dryer and the electric rollers. This thing was only $70 and goes right up to a heat setting of 25 degrees! Plus it's ceramic coated and when it's not hot you can...yep. Also, look how the little buttons make a face kinda haha! OK so after you've curled your hurrr...
Toss your hair forward and spray liberally with L'OREAL ELNETT HAIRSPRAY. This is cult hairspray and is used backstage at all the shows darling. It has been on the circuit for yonks and I kinda want to get the woman on the can tattooed hmmmm...dun steal my idea! The can is huge and will last forevs and is only 10 dolla and the best bit is, is that it is non sticky. HOO RAH.
Apologies to LIME CRIME because they asked me ages ago which lipstick I wanted so I could talk it up for all ya'll. Now I'm not one for blogging shit just because I got something for free but if I like it then I shall and I have been banging on about Lime Crime since 2009. So I asked the lovely PR lady for MY BEAUTIFUL ROCKET because I have wanted a really orange lipstick for a while now. OK I'm lying. I wanted it because M.I.A wore it in this video...
Here is a rather professional photograph of me sporting it...
I luuurve the colour. It's a nice summery change from red and it goes on easily...but to take off not so much. It left a bit of a orange stain but I worked it by putting some Vaseline over the top and it gave a nice subtle day time hue. Um hello magazines, aren't I just a natural at being a beauty editor? Gimme.
So if you look at the photo of me above and squint you will see no lines around my eyes. Stop squinting and WHOAH. OK slight exaggeration but times a ticking and shit is getting realz so I invested a whopping $18.95 and get a free NW magazine on this 'life changing' caffeine enriched roll on formula for the eyes by GARNIER. I GUESS it's working...I can't really tell. I'll let you know in 30 years.
Perfume time! MAYBE BABY by BENEFIT is my mother fucking jam. Well it was, because I lost it. Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!! God and it's my 'date scent' it's so playful and provocative. I'm not one to share my perfume secrets but this one is cool because it's a special occasion thing not my 'signature scent' HAHA imagine your signature scent was by J-LO ! HAAAAAAAHAHA! I'm not impressed I lost this because it was virtually brand new and now it's gwaaaan
Whomever has it, spray it behind your ears, knee caps, in the crease of your arm and a light dust in the hair and then get naked. And then give it back.05/02/2012
I fucks with fusion
WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE AND MAGIC HAPPENS
INTRODUCE FRIENDS TO OTHER FRIENDS.
Has it ever happened that you meet someone new and think, 'Fuck! This person is hilarious, they remind me so much of so and so'? You have? Same. You should probably introduce them. Bringing people together and encouraging your circles to widen and introducing friends is life enriching. Sometimes you may feel a bit territorial which is natural, i.e. 'You guys only know each other because of meeeeeee!!!!' Yes they do. And isn't that great? Share your friends kids. After all, the thing they have in common is you, and isn't that wonderful?
FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD.
God, when flavours sync so do endorphins. Experimenting in the bedroom AND the kitchen will make life far more interesting. Try cooking steak in loads of different ways...slice it in an Asian salad of bean sprouts, horse radish and coriander with a sesame seed oil, soy sauce and garlic dressing. Slap some cheese on it and mango chutney and sink your chops into a hearty steak sandwich. Go anglo and just add chips and a friend egg. THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS. Feta is a great little ingredient too I'll have you know. Last night we crumbled it on pan fried kangaroo (please remember where I live). In the past I have cut it into cubes, dunked it in tempura batter and fried it...I eloquently named them 'Feta Bombs'. Feta is great in scrambled eggs, stuffed in calamari tubes, used instead of parmesan on pasta and sprinkled on avocado on sour dough toast. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM fuse me baby.
FASH UN AND MOOOOOSIC.
Just because you're rocking Supreme dun mean you have to be strictly into hip hop. Just because you ride a bicycle with a whimsical basket on the front dun mean you have to fuck with the Fleet Foxes. Man, even the artists themselves are collaborating and re inventing and mixing things up. Stop being so fucking boring and one track minded and explore all avenues of what is on offer in the world of clothing and musical genres. The greatest things have happened when people thought out the box and muddled things up and did the things that couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't be done. Wear evening wear with converse, be into street wear and Fleetwood Mac, combine vintage and modern...do whatever you fucking want basically. Who sets the rules? No one important, that's for sure.
ASS TO MOUTH.
Don't be afraid.
LOOK TO THE ROCK FROM WHICH YOU WERE HEWN AND THE QUARRY FROM WHICH YOU WERE DUG - ISAIAH 51:1
Your heritage. What are you? Half this, quarter that, two thirds this? Isn't it marvelous? We're a bit like dogs really. The more cross bred and interesting dogs make cuter, stronger animals than their pedigree'd chums. Find out about your culture and where you come from, embrace it and claim it. My father is half Portuguese and half English but was born in Bo Kaap in Cape Town and was raised in a Portuguese community. My mother was born in middle England and moved to South Africa with my grandparents when she was 16. They met and fell in love and DID NOT HAVE SEX because a stork brought me thanks. My Portuguese Catholic family upbringing crossed with my extremely Anglo football (soccer) watching, roast beef eating side of the family stirred with growing up in pre AND post apartheid South Africa makes for an interesting story. What's yours? Get to know it.
INTER RACIAL.
It's not one of the most searched for things on porn sites for nothing. Try a few flavours! You do with ice cream, why not people?
TRADITION IS NOT BAD.
Nor is it boring. It is necessary in order to balance the different. To create the ying and yang of life and to provide a bass camp for when we feel over stimulated. But when you mix up tradition with the things that tickle your fancy, that is when life gets more interesting and memories are created and treasured. There are a million different sauces out there and million more to be invented but at the end of the day, you still need the pasta.
It's the 2nd month of 2012 and I feel only now are we able to implement our resolutions for real because lez be honest, we have still all been drunk as fuck up until now and I had 4 Tim Tam's today and I'm necking on red wine as we digitally speak. SO THIS MONTH I THINK WE SHOULD ALL...
TAKE OUR MONEY MORE SRSLY.
Put some aside every single pay. Maybe even have a jar where you empty your change every night OR you can collect $2 coins...or if not dollars then in any currency in which you barter. Saving does not equal boring though I'll have you know, it means taking control of your clams and making shit work for you. Get on top of your shit yo!
VROOM VROOM!
Those that own a vehicle and a vagina TAKE NOTE! Did you know your insurance and your registration and your license EXPIRES??!!? You did? Well fuck you. Yes for those who have a life, they expire. And with expiration comes anxiety so take control and don't let the bastards pull you over and ask for all your monies! The thing that gets you from A to B should be treated with respect. Yes yes, I can hear all you bike riders already, well then next time you need a lift to the airport, I'll drive slowly next to you as you go up hill and pass you Lucozade.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Catch them. They're good for you and make you not want to kill yourself on a whim.
AND ON THAT NOTE...
Wake up early and get to work on time. Your boss will give you a gold star next to your name plus you will feel smug AND it cuts down on our old friend ANXIETY. I'm telling ya, there is something to be said about being on the straight and narrow.
EAT YO GREENS.
Eat right. Avoid the scurvy...and in rare cases, gout (in joke, sozz). Like today for instance, I ate 5 handfuls of jelly beans, 4 biscuits and a burger and fries for lunch. SO GROSS. I feel fat, out of control and yucky. Not because I'm saying you should cut out the fun, but it's more because I had a burger last night for dinner and beer and I'm on antibiotics EEK. When I eat better, I feel better...ya know?
CHEER UP BUTTERCUP.
The world is full of cunts. It always has and it always will be and there is nun you can do to change that. You can change you attitude and approach though and that will relieve the stress and irritation you feel when you come across a winner. Be patient with the faults of other, they have to be patient with yours after all.
