As you can see I was really hating it. Three days, four girls and some sunshine in the middle of August. It wasn't exactly scorching but it was sunny enough to cop a speckle of a tan. The gold Coast is as tacky as pink neon flamingoes which is probably why I loved it.
Very similar to the Melbourne view in August from a sun bed...not. I bloody love palm trees. Not even that sure why, its not like they actually provide any shade and they're not ideal for climbing (I'm a tree climber) but it's what they represent!
The view of the pool from our hotel balcony. I really enjoyed all the pastel colours of the place. I felt the only thing lacking from this picture were two old ladies in boiler suits playing bridge wearing visors.
Like this hotel opposite ours! All peaches and cream and 1950's fabulousness.
Speaking of fabulous, we hit the hotel Palazzo Versace for some high tea and vulgarity. The logo is on errrr thang...
Look at that foyer! So decadent and indulgent yet still very rough around the edges...which is how I would describe the Gold Coast in general. The Versace hotel is probably not where you would stay if you actually had any taste, you would probably stay there to say that you did or if you were one of those third generation Italians who wear Lonsdale and only have an Italian accent when you order Cafe Lattes.
This was the fabric of the sofas we were perched on. I didn't hate it in fact, I the opposite of hated it. although it is dying for some black and white abstract print cushions to bring it into 2012.
The high tea was a lot of fun and pretty delicious. It's not often you get to wash down itty bitty salmon sandwiches with a glass of sparkling now is it?
Or eat blue macaroons! Seriously, what is the fuss over these fucking things? It's like a My Little Pony farted in my mouth.
I just loved the colours! I felt like I was living in a different time! It was like the movie 'Caccoon' you know that movie? The one when the old people go live with the aliens? No? Check it out yo! I'm making the Gold Coast sound all romantic and nostalgic but believe me, it turns into an abortion of a place at night. Look at the dress code for the fine establishment we visited on the Saturday night...
When a venue has a dress code it is the number one indicator that it is full of winners but when it has a dress code to this extent well...there are no words. I'm not even hating, I knew what I was getting myself in for. I thought I could be ironic! But now that I am 31 it appears I have said goodbye to some of my irony and my socially retarded people tolerance.
That is someones daughter.
A car outside our hotel. Man I'm a sucker for powder blue. It is one of my favourite colours of all time. I've always wanted a powder blue vintage car with cream interior since i lived next door to a guy that had one in London. I would need an entire new wardrobe to match but it would be so worth it.
Me and the ladiezzz. We wined, we dined, we dutty wined and we got drunk. What a bunch of Bettys.
The 10th floor of the QT Hotel. I had to nab this shot, its like something out of The Shining. I know its not an original love but I love hotels. It's like you're not in the real world! What happens there, stays there. Someone turns your room every morning, there is room service, you can throw televisions out of the window or if you're like me and you're too scared to do that, then you can just steal the pen. Although the room service at this joint was disappointing to say the least! I've never eaten a Caesar Salad with my hands before!
Where the QT Hotel lacked in cutlery they made up for in pineapples.
I was obviously in my element.
Me being a tourist. Cute no? I swear to God the sign says 'Surfers Paradise' but I kinda like that Alex couldn't fit it all in, at least it has an element of cool about it. Nah fuck it, its lame.
Time to check out and return to Melbourne! Man, you know you live in a good city when you're happy to return after a holiday.
And I'm back with another addition for the fridge. I've been collecting fridge magnets since I started travelling back in 1999. Kitch and nostalgic....that is I. Queensland is the 4th place I have visited in this great country, where to next? Drop your suggestions in the box below!
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TANNING TOPLESS ON THE BEACH
Although I will say that you should probably be a little respectful if there is a family nearby with kids. Kids will point and stare and then the parents feel awkward, and the Dad won't know where to put his fucking face. Also watch out for old people, you don't wanna be causing early heart failures now do you?
CHOOSE YOUR TWITTER AVATAR AND FACEBOOK PROFILE PICTURE WISELY
What if the person of your dreams decides to follow you and catches you on a mutual page and you thought it would be LOLz to put the picture up of you passed out drunk in the flower bed and someone had drawn a massive cock on your cheek? And why for the love of Muhammad would you use the pic someone did of you on their iPhone with that app that makes you fat? Don't you like having sex?
IF THERE IS A GIRL IN YOUR GROUP WHO HARDLY EVER TALKS OR HANGS WITH THE GIRLS AND IS ALWAYS WITH THE GUYS SHE WILL PROBABLY FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND
I'm just saying. These bitches are sneaky sausages and want a slice of your man.
WILL YOU PLEASE REMOVE THAT NASTY ASS CHIPPED NAIL VARNISH OFF YOUR TOES!!!
Chipped varnish on your finger nails can look 'rock starry' or 'edgy' if you prefer that word. But on the toes you look like hooker hookity hook hook...ESPESH when you wear peep toe shoes. Just please sort that shit out.
STOP TRYNA 'OWN' SHIT
Like if you decide you suddenly love 90's RNB, a new slang term you learnt off UrbanDictionary or wearing stripes - it dun mean you are the Queen of all things RNB, crap words and stripey stuff! Hello and good evening you did not invent that shit.
DON'T JUST BE LICKING ANY DUDES ASSHOLE
They all love it. Most will ask for it. But for Gods sake, have your limitations. If they want it they can put a er....ring on it :-/
Someone mentioned Ja Rule last night for some God damn reason, not sure why ... but it reminded me of those mad collabs Jennifer Lopez used to do with him in 2001..or was it 2002? Oh bite me you fact Nazi's. Anyway, I used to fucking love those tunes. I came home and did a bit of YouTube action and in the process, got totally inspired for my look this summer. Yes Owlettes (see how I used a capital?) I am bringing back velour...you just try and stop me. This vid totes reminds me of school holidays back in Rape Town, South Africa when we used to just hang around the neighbourhood streets with boys that were bad for us. Oh the memories ... *sigh* um OK, actually the memories can stop now...*shudder* Whatever ones opinion of 'J' to the 'Lo', the bitch is banging, you can't deny, and I want to look like her.