Tagged: tattoos

O.W.L’s Armchair Trend Predictions



A NEW POWER ANIMAL IS ON THE HORIZON.


I'm not gonna be one of those irritating bitches that say, 'I liked Owls for aaaages way before anyone else did' blah blah blah. Truth is I actually don't even dig Owls that much. Most are tacky on a necklace etc. Thing is, when I was little I really hated my big ass round eyes. I yearned for the almond shaped blue peepers of the prettiest girl in my class.  So my Nan used to tell me I looked like a little Owl and that I was beautiful. (aawww) so yeah, that's the Owl story. Plus 'ol blue eyes now has 3 kids, been divorced twice and she ate all the pies. But I digress....Owls are on their way out. As are other woodland creatures.  I think the hipsters are about to get on the dinosaur bandwagon OR it's all about the African steeze like lions and zebra's and stuff. But remember, you can't claim shit. Animals are there for the taking because they are on this earth for EVERYONE.  So don't be all like, 'I used to collect hippo's in the form of jewellery and prints etc and now EVERYONE is doing' say that to the fucking African jungle dipshit. We are all entitled to commercialise and make useless crap inspired by our 4 legged friends.  I just wish someone would decide to start making a less glamorous animal cool. Like a pig or an antelope or maybe even a taking the native fauna of Australia away from the bogans and turning the kangaroo into something hipster worthy? I dunno hey, I just think we should think out of the box on this one.

 

AH OH...I THINK THE VANS OBSESSION IS DWINDLING.


I am about as surprised that I am starting to see more and more Chucks around the traps as I am that JLo just got divorced.  Authentics are dope, don't get me wrong but FUCK these iconic foot coverings have been gang raped to within an inch of their lives. Thanks a lot Dog Town! So those who feel as though their parade has well and truly been pissed on by the masses are now turning to Converse. Give it time before you discover your old faithful Chucks are 20 bucks more expensive and your 17 year old sibling is asking Santa for a pair next Christmas.

 

'TACKY' IS NOW 'TRENDY'.


Everyone is gradually trying to out do one another in the tack game. If I had a dollar for everyone that has typed '90's trends' into Google hey.  There is a whole lot of 'Remember this?!' going on. No you don't fucking remember because you were like 3 or something.  I know this sounds a bit bitchy. God, my mum must think the same thing when I became obsessed with Madonna's Immaculate Collection. And I suppose young 'uns becoming obsessed with an era they didn't have much to do with keeps it alive and what not. I get it. Ignore me, I'm just turning 30 in a few weeks and I'm feeling sensitive.

 

BACK TO BASICS.


You know like when you've had loads of really rich food?  Like after Chrissy when you have pigged out on a bunch of selection boxes, trifle, every kind of roasted animal you can imagine and your weight in booze? You know how after all this you just want a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea? Or the more ambitious join a gym in January and stock their fridge with mineral water and carrots?  THAT my Owlies, is because over indulging  inevitably leads to simplicity. I predict that after all this fuss with Minaj inspired multi coloured hair, narcissistic and self indulgent tumblrs and over kill on information via the interwebs is only going to breed the desire to strip things right back and get back to basics. Over use always leads to under use. Belee dat.



 CLEAN SKIN.


Ye old art form of tattoo's will become less enviable than having none at all.  There are legit kids under the age of 20 walking around looking not too dis similar to their colouring books from only 5 years ago. What. The. Fuck. You will hate them one day. I swear you will. I'm not even hating! I am all about accepting other folks style and choices and not judging one's style choices because it would be boring if we all looked the same etc etc but fuck kids, chill out on the colour needle yeah? Some things are sure in life: taxes, death, heart break and you growing up and being a very different person when you are 28 from when you were 18. Anyway, my point is, is that we all strive to be different hence going under the needle in the first place. But I really think that NOT having is on the verge of becoming way 'out there' than having any at all. Ya kna?

 

CHICKS IN KICKS.


Yeah yeah, it's nothing new. Just remember, as a friend of mine once said: Owning 100 pairs of air max does not make you a 'sneakerhead'. It makes you a consumer.

I'm putting the kettle on, who wants in?

The Obnoxious Owl Experience: Weekilinks

So we're knee deep in December...there are more fake Santa's than you could shake a stick at, Oprah is in town and Facebook had a face lift...can't decide if I'm feeling it yet, however the old one used to be the new one as well...if you know what I mean.  Social network overhauls aside, this was my week ...

First off, I had my thigh ingrained all tropical and shit ...

And that's not regrowth you are peeping, it's the ink in my pores OK? I have legs like a babies ass.  So yeah, I go me a pineapple.  There's a little story to it...but I feel lame for going on about it, so if I see you remind me to tell you, otherwise...it's just a pineapple on my thigh.  Now let's talk about them naaillzzzzzzzz...here's a better pic ...



It's MAGIC nail varnish.  My nail tech brought this mad stuff back from China and she went all magician on my claws.  You put a base coat on of whatever colour, then the magic colour goes over the top, you put it in front of a fan and it starts to crack right in front of your eyes!  Pretty amazing. Are your nails as amazing as these? Prolly not.

Now I haven't copped myself anything fresh in aaaages, no seriously...I really haven't been shopping at all.  Most of my $$$ has been going on parking fines, bagels and cream cheese, petrol, hotel rooms (don't ask) and pear cider. Anyways, I very spur of the moment got these ...

Yes. I got me some VANS Authentic.  The last time I had a pair of these was in 2003...and they are now, as my Nan would say, knackered.  I just wanted a cute little shoe that wasn't Air Max for a change. These go with everything, especially with little dresses.  The Air Max give me too much of a Lily Allen circa 2006 vibe (her better years no doubt) and I am a little over the references.  Don't get me wrong, I'm married to my 90's but these Authentic's are a good little foot outfit.  FUCK that was a lot of words just about shoes. It's just that I have so much of it! I just moved house on the weekend, and LOOK at my closet ...

I'm not even finished unpacking!  It's spilling out like my tits would in an egg cup.  This is probably why I haven't been buying stuff lately...because really, I'm not actually in need of anything.  Take last weekend for example, I threw another party and I needed something dardy to wear and I found this fab dress that Lady SJ  gave me a while back.  It's purple, and poofy and very Cyndi Lauper.  I've never worn it, and I felt like it needed an outing ...

Hmmm.  I don't really know who I think I am making sex eyes at the camera like that because this was taken the morning after the party at around 9am and I hadn't gone to bed yet.  Nothing to be proud of!  Aw shit, who am I kidding?!  I am winning in this picture.  Thank you and good evening.  In all seriousness though, I should take a leaf out of my friend Alex's blog and start flogging threads on Ebay.  God knows I need the cash, what with my parking fines reaching new heights and everything.

And lastly, I babysat my sisters pooch one morning ...

Yeah I feel ya buddy.

Bye! x

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part soixante-huit




DON'T HAVE SEX WITH YOUR ROOM MATE


It never ever ever works out.  It is awkward and you will feel weird afterwards.  If there is sexual tension...well, its the tension that is making things work.  The minute you bang each other, the tension is gone and there is nothing left to thrive on except awkwardness.  Plus the sex is never that good, and you feel like you do after your New Years Eve party...underwhelmed.


ARE YOU SERIOUSLY STILL EATING WHITE BREAD OVER BROWN?


 

At LEAST get the seeded white.  Eating white bread is the equivalent to eating candy floss i.e nutritional value is zero.  Turkish bread and sour dough is another matter, I'm not talking about that. It's the plastic, pre-sliced fuck show that I speak of.  Sort it out love, if not for yourself then do it for your colon for fucks sake.
 

HAVE SEX IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR CAR


 

It's so retro!  And the whole steamy window thing is pretty hot.  Just don't get jizz on the upholstery, that stuff sticks like wallpaper paste. Flatten the front seats as well...be clever about it.
 

KEEP YOUR KICKS FRESH


 

You can be wearing $200 dollar jeans, have your hair done, nails did, but if your shoes look like two rottweilers had a fight over them and then when they were done pissed all over them you will just look like an um, dogs dinner.
 

TOSS HIS SALAD 


 

If fella is clean and enjoys good hygiene then I don't see what the problem is with licking his asshole.  Jus sayin.
 

TATTOOS TATTOOS TATTOOS


 

Whatever. They're cool...just chew on it for a bit yeah?  Your choice says alot about you.

 

WHEN YOU START A SENTENCE WITH 'I LOVE (insert name) BUT...'


It is still gossip.  You just do it to feel less guilty. *sigh* but we all do it innit?

Me love you long time x

TYLER B MURPHY – Tattoo Artist


I like to go back to Africa every so often and pay homage to the land that reared me. On my last trip I paid Sins of Style a visit and Tyler hooked me up with a tattoo of an anchor on my inner arm. I wanted something meaningful done in my home town and I felt it was appropriate, it is also a reminder to keep my shit together - prolly better I use that meaning actually. Tyler opened his own shop on Bree Street in Cape Town in 2008 after making a name for himself as one of Cape Towns best tattoo artists. I knew him from when we were teens and my then boyfriend used to skate with him ... it's a small world is little Kaapstad. I've always known him as a pretty dope graffiti artist, so when I heard he started picking up tattoo needles I knew he was gonna be increds. Like seriously, I only ever really want Tyler to put permanent shit on my skin. The boy has skills...everyone in Cape Town knows who Tyler B Murphy is, even Ninja from Die Antwoord hits him up. Ol' Murphy is also a bit of a chiller so he took his time getting back to me on these answers...no biggie..it's a chiller you want getting up close and personal with a sharp object and your skin anyway, you dig? Richly finished tattoos done by a hell of a man, look it up if you are ever lucky enough to visit the Mother City.


Ninja



I am happy ... that I live by the beach. I can catch a skate and watch the sun set a stones throw away from the waters edge.

I am ... waiting for the big soccer ball game to come to an end. It has been better than I expected, but I still wonder if the countries economy will survive after being raped by the FIFA mafia.

I have always ... liked to write my name on things.

Whenever I ... catch the train, I keep my eyes open for new pieces on the track sides. If I'm lucky, I will spot a new panel. On rare and special days I might get to see some whole cars running.


My favourite colour ... is meranti wood, stained with rose tinted varnish. As I sit writing this, I can look up and enjoy it all around my shop walls.



I will never ... be cool with people calling tattoo's 'body art' or 'skin art'. People talk about going to get some ink...what is wrong with the word tattoo? Do they think that they are making it better by changing the words around? It is not their place to come and try and make things sound new and cool with some kind of fresh twist. The culture has thrived for many generations without them. Their new fancy terms are neither needed nor welcome. It is like kids renaming skate tricks after playing the misinformed TV games.

My thoughts on ... people who do not appreciate art are few.




I support ... people who 'Do For Self'. I will help people who show that they have passion and drive to make things work. I support small little shops as often as I can. I would rather give them my money than support foreign owned chain stores evil economy of extraction.

Lately it has occurred to me ... that the world might not change nor end in the year 2012 and that I should increase my daily vocabulary. I intend to cease cussing...except on special occasions.

It makes me laugh when ... I watch Will Farrell movies, or old episodes of the Chapel show.

My biggest accomplishment ... is having raised a healthy, polite and honest young man child.





If I could choose to meet anyone it would be ... Jan Note aka Nongaloza

Life is all about ... contributing to the universal group consciousness of God's human experiment. Or fulfilling your desire to work like cloned miner slaves for our alien masters. Or learning to love.

I wish I never ... let my selfishness steer me into compromising positions.

Often I think ... that most animals that are kept as pets would rather live free in the bush. I think that the planet would not miss our presence for one second if we were all to die, or dematerialize into the nether. I think that a few dozen well placed volcanic eruptions could rid the world of all our plastic pollutants.



The Obnoxious Owl ... would be a cool thing to carve into the branches of a tree where real owls have been known to loiter.



Owl tattoo by Tyler B Murphy

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part cinquante-huit


THERE IS LITTLE OR NO SHAME IN ORDERING HALF A PINT - Same goes with spritzers.

YOU CAN'T GET ANGRY WITH SOMEONE IF THEY COPIED YOUR TATTOO, WHEN IN FACT YOU GOT THE SAME ONE AS A CELEB - It's just going down the line innit?

LONDON IS THE GREATEST CITY ON EARTH - Don't argue.

HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO CUM INSIDE YOU - Ever.

YOU DO NOT NEED THE CHIPS TO GO WITH THE SANDWICH - Carb city on the plate meets wobble city on the thighs.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE SIDE BOOB - It's pretty fucking lethal if you ask me.

USE THAT HAND SANITIZER SHIT AFTER USING A COMPUTER AT A NET CAFE - I'm about to do that in 5.3 seconds.

LESS IS NOT ALWAYS MORE - This goes for gold jewellery, bright colours, and oral sex. Fuck Coco Chanel and all her monochrome wisdom. First rule of being obnoxious: there are no rules.

This is being typed from a pikey net cafe in Hackney, whilst jacked up on cider. FYI. x

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway SPECIAL EDITION: Knob End Alerts


The following are fairly good indicators of a wanker, or a group there of. As usual, take this post with the proverbial, some people just have poor judgment and are not necessarily wanky. But unfortch, these things usually mean they are.
  • Hummer limo's - the douche bag ride of choice
  • Hen nights that involve dressing in pink, and wearing plastic cocks on your head
  • Incessant name droppers
  • After speaking to them for an hour, you still don't know what they actually DO
  • They go on and on and on and fucking ON about their Apple Mac's/Iphones *yawn*
  • Even if it's minus 300 degrees out, they will still pull their sleeves up so you can see their forearm tattoos, or wear a low v neck so you can see their 'chest piece'.
  • They say things like 'chest piece'
  • Fake BAP hoodies
  • Playboy logos
  • Playboy logos on cars
  • Their favourite band is like from Nepal or some shit. Knob ends LOVE mentioning obscure music.
  • Non ironic personalised number plates
  • Any night club that has a dress code. Wankers will probs hire a hummer limo to take them to such a venue
  • 'funny' slogan tee's. Like, 'I'm the wing man' - for example.
  • Perfectly dishevelled hair that took 3 hours to achieve.
  • Glasses with no lenses (why?)
  • Peeps who denounce a band the second they get the slightest of breaks
  • Those who reckon they 'invented' fashion trends.

You are most welcome x

Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part cinquante-deux




THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE - Probs the only thing that you really need to take from the Bible.

BE CAREFUL HOW YOU DRESS DURING WINTER - If you go out on a night with a minus 5 degree temperature, and all you are wearing is a tight, stretch satin dress and heels you can't walk in, people will immediately assume that you are a slut. Brutal but true. Put some clothes on love, it's cold out.

DON'T FLIRT WITH YOUR TEACHERS OR YOUR FRIENDS DAD - It's weird.

MAYONNAISE PRETTY MUCH MAKES EVERYTHING TASTE BETTER - Don't fight it.

SMILE AT SOMEONE - It will make their day, and make you feel a bit better about life. It's the simple things people.

DON'T GET A TATTOO JUST BECAUSE BOYS DIG THEM - It's the lamest reason to get permanently ingrained that ever lived. Do it because you want to - tattoo's are forever. And so is herpes.

WHATS WITH THE WHOLE KNITTING/BAKING/SEWING WEIRD ASS LITTLE OUTFITS FOR YOUR PETS PHENOMENON? - Is there some kind of 'Golden Girl' revolution that I am unaware of?

DUDE, TOTALLY PUT FETA IN YOUR MASHED POTATOES - You won't be sorry.

Don't be sorry, be careful xx


Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 11


FOR BOYS ONLY

ROSARY BEADS COULDN'T BE MORE OVER - Yes David Beckham kinda looked hot in them in ...when was it? 2001 maybe? But now it's just lame ESPECIALLY if you aren't even remotely religious. It's just my opinion.

DON'T GET THAT GIRLS NAME TATTOOED ON YOUR ARM ... - Or anywhere else for that matter. It's kinda romantic but it's also real silly.

WASH YOUR SHEETS - And make your bed. Else you won't get laid. FACT. And if you are getting laid in an unmade filthy bed...well...those girls need to check themselves.

SOMETIMES GIRLS WILL GIVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT THEY WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU WHEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION TO - If they keep avoiding the subject, it's 'cause they either don't wanna hurt your feelings, or because they wanna keep you interested for as long as possible while they figure out if they like you or not. If you want a quickie, find someone who shares your desire for no strings shenanigans otherwise...don't bother.

ALL YOUR FRIENDS FLIRT WITH YOUR HOT NEW GIRLFRIEND - Yes. All of them.

WE FAKE MOST OF THE TIME - It's not always a reflection on your performance...or lack there of. It's just that the female orgasm is a stubborn little fucker that needs more than a prod to come out of it's hiding place and sometimes we just aren't in the mood to make the effort. However ... some guys just seriously don't know what the fuck they are doing.

YOU KNOW WHEN SOME OF YOU SPEED AWAY WITH YOUR BIG NOISY EXHAUST PIPE IN A FURY? - You might wanna make sure you aren't leaving the petrol station after you just bought a Chocolate Chill and a Cadburys Fredo Frog. Epic fail on the street cred. Furthermore, it's not that impressive...no I'm lying...it's not impressive at all.
Boobs!!

The Beige List


See I think people don't really get what I mean when I say something is 'beige'. I keep seeing readers of this blog using it completely outta context! You can't call someone or something 'beige' just because you don't like it. Being 'beige' means it's non descript, boring or unmemorable. You can't hate 'beige' things...you are to feel indifferent. Someone who happens to be fairly tacky, vulgar or irritating like say Kendra from Girls of the Playboy Mansion is WAY more entertaining than Gwyneth Paltrow aka 'The Queen of Beige City' - in my opinion.

I kinda caused somewhat of a stir in my last Beige List by mentioning Poland (yes the country). It did not mean that I thought Poland was shit. It just meant that if you had a choice between Poland and say...Tokyo, watcha gonna choose? If the world were a box of crayons, Poland ain't exactly gonna be the fuchsia one now is it? Please don't beige me to tears with your pro Poland comments. Thank you. *Note: This is not a hate campaign! It's just a list of things that just don't leave a lasting impression. At least to me.
  • Plain yogurt at room temperature. (not yuck, just meh)

  • Anything at room temperature.

  • Anything 'luke warm'.

  • The name 'Luke'.

  • Apples. (unless they're in a pie)

  • The name 'Apple'. (God. Only Beige McGee would name a kid that)

  • The Oscars (as if you care who wins best costume designer)

  • Mac and cheese with no red sauce aka 'ketchup' (what's the point?)

  • Chips with no red sauce or aioli aka 'fancy mayo'.

  • Delta Goodrum. (Girl get a sex tape or something...I beg of you)

  • Frankie Magazine

  • Plain vanilla ice cream. (And I don't mean the fancy one with the vanilla seeds)

  • Rayban Wayfarers. (It's been done)

  • Telling me about your non-wet dream. (care factor: zero)

  • Kevin Rudd. (He's no Saddam is he?)

  • Your tattoo that comes with a story as long as the Bible.

  • Family Crest tattoo's.

  • French manicures.

  • Marshmallows.

  • April Fools Day. (unless you are creative. Most aren't)

  • McDonald's Apple Pie. (They are always a squillion degrees too fucking hot)

  • VH1's top 10 sexiest. (oh God, we KNOW it's gonna be Jessica Alba)

  • Jessica Alba.

  • Describing hail stones as 'golf balls'. (surely there is another comparison?)

  • What you ate on the plane. (nobody cares)

  • Sparrows. (unless it's Captain Jack. Plus a sparrow ain't no owl...innit?)

*Note: Just because you have a beige name, doesnt mean YOU are beige.

xxx

SUZI Q – TATTOOIST

So I'm not one of those uber tattooed girls. Not because I don't enjoy them, but more because I don't think it would particularly suit me. I have one on my inner arm of an anchor and one on the small of my back which I got when I was 18 and I don't want to talk about it. Suzi Q has quite the rep here in WA (try over a years wait list), so when I decided to get my new one, I wasn't prepared to go anywhere else! I am majorly in love with the little owl I now sport on my leg (lovingly named Olive).
Mademoiselle Suzi is as sweet as she is talented, and she is as sweet as chocolate cherry pie.


I am from ... Chepstow, a small town in S. Wales, UK.

I started ... my apprenticeship in 2001 in the USA

My family and friends ... are pretty supportive, especially my husband, he was the one that really encouraged me to give it a go! Other close family were surprised but not shocked and I didn't really care what anyone else thought!

I am influenced ... by the tattooist who offered me my apprenticeship, Lea Smith who owned Lucky Lady Studio in NC back in the day - without her I would have nothing of the life I have now. I'm influenced by loads of artists especially low brow art, old movie posters, retro images, etc. Getting tattooed by other artists when traveling is also a big influence, as is working and meeting tattooists at conventions.

I refuse ... to tattoo political or racist bullshit, or men's privates, ha ha! When I was working in Florida a guy and girl came in and he asked for 'Property of …..' on his girlfriend's arse - nice huh? I didn't do that!

My favourite piece is ... It changes all the time, at the moment I am tattooing a flamingo with flowers on a friend's arm, I want to marry that one! Also, I've just finished a full sleeve zombie/apocalypse scene after about 25 hrs work over 7 sessions, I'm pretty keen on that one too.

The art of tattooing ... will still be the same, there will be new advances in technique, machines, ink, removal, etc but people will still have the love affair with tattooing. The industry however will either be completely over saturated or pared right back to the old days!

If I wasn't doing this ... I'd find it hard now after tattooing to do anything else, probably something 'arty' - painter or something? Before tattooing found me I probably would have carried on working with kids with behavioral difficulties until the job did me in!

The worst perception of the industry is ... that the world owes you something when you start tattooing. I hate that there's no respect any more from some people in the industry, people want to make a quick buck out of it or develop a huge rock-star ego and not put in any of the hard work or years of training that goes with it. Tattooing is hard work, end of.

The best thing about my job is ... everything! It's a love/hate thing you see! It gets under your skin. I love that I get to travel, meet new people, make new friends, get to be creative on a daily basis, all the things that make people think they want to be a tattooists……….but with a bucket load of hard work thrown in.

I have ... 2 full sleeves & socks, random ones on chest, hands, back, neck….

My favourite is ... Usually the last one I had done, because it's new & shiny! I love my neck tattoo by Rose Hardy, and my Jaws theme leg, but I've just had a honey bee tattooed on my hand by my very good friend Lucy Pryor to remember my mum who died last year and that's my favourite now.

I listen to ... all sorts…. Tiger Army….

My favourite ice cream is ... Oooohh, something with nuts in it! Or coffee….

The Owl is ... a mighty wise bird!

Suzi works at HOLDFAST TATTOO contact: (08) 9361 6114