Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 18

FOR BOYS ONLY

OWN AT LEAST ONE SUIT

It needs to fit perfectly and make you look like James Bond. It needs to not be polyester.  Your mum shouldn’t have helped you buy it when you were 17 for your year 12 ball.  The sleeves should not cover knuckles.  A velvet suit can be hot…jus sayin

IF YOU PUT YOUR FINGER IN OUR BUM AND DON’T SPIT ON IT OR LUBE IT UP SOMEHOW, IT WILL HURT.

You bastard.

MAKE IT FEEL AS IF YOU ARE GOING TO RAPE US

But then don’t. I’m not saying rape is cool, rape is bad. But to most girls, the feeling of danger is a total turn on.  If you are a girl, and you have been genuinely raped and you’re reading this, I’m sorry.  But I’m not deleting this, because its the truth.

STOP DESCRIBING GIRLS AS ‘STARFISH’ WHEN THEY JUST ‘LAY THERE’

Ever thought that you may be a ‘dud fuck’ arsehole?  She was prolly just bored.

IF YOU READ A TEXT MESSAGE, AND THEN QUICKLY PUT YOUR PHONE IN YOUR POCKET AND DART A LOOK OVER AT YOUR MISSUS, SHE WILL BE SUSPICIOUS

Stop being a wanker and tryna turn your girl into some kinda psycho just so that you a) feel needed and b) can get into a ‘who has the most psycho girlfriend’ debate with your friends.  We’re onto you…….

IF YOU HAVE LONG HAIR, WEARING IT IN A BUN IS NOT A GOOD LOOK

Who do you think you are?  Mr Miyagi some shit?

5 Comments on Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 18

  1. So I love my boys with long hair. I really do. It's an instant turn on. But when they wear it in a bun, it's not all sexy and adventurous. It just makes them a lady. And if I wanted to be fucking a lady, I would.
    Good post :)

  2. Never trust a man in a bun!

  3. My god the rape thing is so un-PC, but so true. I always wondered if it was universal amongst females!

  4. I think you need to define rapey. Holding both your wrists in his one hand while he un-does his fly with the other = hot. Trying to choke you and spitting on your face (unless you've told him you're into that shit) while he does you = NOT HOT. Gross and scary and not cool! Apparently jocks are really into that shit. Double gross.

  5. Real rape = not cool
    Role play rape = hot

    I know this is un pc, and I'm not giving rapists the go ahead, but I know ya'll fantasised about it.

    And if you feel safe and not in harms way, it is hot.

    CC: 'rapey'? hahaha

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