FOR BOYS ONLY
ASK BEFORE YOU JIZZ
Mouth/Face/Tits – it’s not for you to decide.
WE ARE DIFFERENT TO YOU
Like, we can’t stay with you just because you’re pretty but you are bad in bed. It definitely seems as though you are able to date some hottie who sucks dick like a dead goldfish but nah ah…not us fellas. Moral of the story? Be amazing in bed.
STOP RUINING GIRLS WITH YOUR FUCK SHOW MIND GAMES
Yeah girls are suckers for it. Yeah, some woman has probably fucked with your head once before and now you have ‘trust issues’ … blah blah, well do me a favour and tell Dr Phil instead of getting under girls skin and then leaving her for wondering and anxiously checking her phone.
STOP WAXING/SHAVING YOUR CHEST!
We actually love chest hair…true story. It’s the back hair we ain’t so keen on. A lovely little tuft on your chest is way better than regrowth stubble. Stubble is on the jawline, not the chest. Get it right!
You never know when you’re gonna get lucky. And if she is offended that you just happen to have a little cock raincoat in your pocket, then she probably deserves to get herpes or worse…pregnant.
IF YOU GO OVER TO ‘WATCH DVD’S’, TAKE A BOTTLE OF WINE
It’ll make you look great and earn you major points. Also, if ya feeling daring, take a dirty film and if the mood looks as though it may swing that way then maybe suggest that ‘a friend of yours left one of his porno’s in your car and wouldn’t it be funny if you guys watched it?’ You know, say it’s a friends so that you don’t look like a creepy pervert.
Wear a condom! xx