Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 21


FOR BOYS ONLY


IF A GIRL TALKS ABOUT HER PERIOD OR FARTS IN FRONT OF YOU, SHE PROBS ONLY WANTS TO BE FRIENDS 

This does not apply to long term relationships obvs…those people do loads of wack shit in front of each other.  No chick will do that stuff in front of a dude she is crushing on.

 

DON’T LOOK FOR COMPLIMENTS 

You know how you find it amusing/irritating/off putting when girls do it? Ditto.

 

STOP GETTING INTO FIGHTS 

Fuck it’s annoying. ESPECIALLY when it didn’t even concern you in the first place, but you just HAD to ‘jump in’ to ‘help’ a friend.  Boys who love drama and scenes SO need to be voted off the island.

 

THE TINIEST AMOUNT OF JEALOUSY CAN BE A TURN ON 

Just a smidge. However. I will confirm right here and now for you fellas that girls definitely do try to make you jealous on purpose…usually with someone you know, but not always.  But the way to counter it, is to pretend not to notice.  It will drive her up the wall and she will let you drive one up her later.

 

PLEASE DON’T SULK 

For the love of GOD.  It might have worked with Mummy, but it ain’t gonna work here sunshine.

 

DO NOT SEX YOUR BUDDY’S SISTER 

It’s not like you are in love. It’s lust. And it’s selfish.  Don’t think you can keep it under your hat either, because this crap ALWAYS gets out.  You stand to potentially lose a pretty good friendship over your wondering penis.  Don’t shit where you eat basically.

 

WASH YOUR SHEETS 

It should be fortnightly, but I’m a realist, so I guess monthly…at a push.  And ALWAYS wash them after a one night stand.  If you can’t be bothered, at least lay down newspaper before you get your freak on.

1 Comment on Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway HOMME Part 21

  1. Haha "newspaper". Cracked me up!

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