FOR BOYS ONLY
PLEASE! RATHER JUST SAY NOTHING INSTEAD OF ‘TAKE CARE’
This goes hand in hand with calling us ‘mate’. It’s kind of the same feeling when you are into a girl and she tells you that you are like a brother to her. Yeah. THAT fucking feeling.
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE CLIT IS?
Like for real, do you? Because according to recent studies (my girlfriends) 97% of you are still in struggle town. Yeah I KNOW it’s harder than it seems and we are a fickle lot but there is being a millimetre off to the right and then there is tenderly stroking our groin. Here you go.
LENGTH IS NOT IMPORTANT
Girth is more our thang. But if you weren’t blessed with either, just fuck like it’s massive. She’ll never know! But also, if you are in fact massive don’t pretend to be drunk just so you can get your cock out and everyone can go ,’Whoah dude you’re huge’ and don’t think that your giant member makes you some kind of chick whisperer either…that attitude just makes you a big dick.
IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE THE JEWELRY WEARING KIND OF CHAP, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT OWN A JEWELRY BOX
I don’t feel I need to elaborate on this.
IF YOU HATE GETTING LAID YOU SHOULD WEAR A BEANIE IN SUMMER
And sandals during winter. It’s not essential but it will definitely help.