FOR BOYS ONLY
WEAR SUITS, BUT DON’T BE ALL ‘I WEAR SUITS’ ABOUT IT.
I dunno why, but when men enjoy a good suit they like to scream about it. Suit wearing should be effortless…in my opinion, but then, who else’s opinion are you after if you’re reading this innit? Once I met this guy at a bar and he was wearing a suit…not in a wanky ‘I’m here for after work drinks’ way but in a, ‘this is what I put on to come out’ way. He looked nice, but before I could tell him he did, I’m not sure if he thought I had something in common with Stevie Wonder or something but he said, ‘So, have you noticed I’m wearing a suit?’ What the fuck hey
INSIDE OUR BODIES THERE IS A SOUL, AND SOME OF US HAVE A PERSONALITY.
So don’t just use us as a service station to empty your balls thanks. Even if it is a one night thing, make a woman feel sexual and desired and put your fucking back into it. I know some of you have cock issues i.e. not big enough, goes soft on you, you arrive early to the party etc and that then causes you to rush in quicker than R Kelly on prom night because you’re nervous, but seriously girls talk. And lemme tell you, two thirds of you lot need to step your game up. Hey I know that there are ladies who enjoy a game of planking in the sack but I will take that up with them.
Before you go ahead and label a girl with the ever so original term ‘psycho’, just take a little step back, make yourself a coffee and consider your part in it all. Some of you are pretty easy to fall for, despite your head olympics and your cock issues.
WE SERIOUSLY DON’T EXPECT *THAT* MUCH FROM YOU HEY
The standards you set for yourself are way taller than those that we set for you. OK, we like you to smell nice, be nice and dress nice along with being attentive yet assertive, not money hungry but ambitious, sensitive but not a pussy and aggressive yet gentle during love making (yes love making). OK…maybe we DO expect a lot. Don’t be such a pussy about it.
TRY TO FIND HAPPINESS BEFORE SUCCESS
One would think that with one comes the other, but this is just not so. Also, take some responsibility for your misery but don’t hate on yourself…IT IS WHAT IT IS – God that saying is annoying.