Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 104

FRIENDS.

Don’t pretend to be one.  The thing with friends over family is you get to choose them…so they’re almost better than family because they are hand picked and nurtured.  They don’t have to love you regardless and nor you them.  Now think of those buddies in your life that make you laugh, feel better about yourself, not out to sabotage and lift you when you’re down and pat your back when you’re up. Now compare the rest to those guys.  It’s a no brainer.  Trim the fat Owlies…it’s almost a new year.

 

FRENCH MANICURES.

Get rid of them immediately. Like seriously, I can’t believe they can even go around calling them ‘French’ like it’s meant to suddenly become chic out of no where.  French manicures are about as stylish as a print of the Eiffel Tower from Ikea.

 

IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE KISSING THEN YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THE SEX.

Do not let him enter your underwear just because you feel sorry for him or you feel you ‘let it go too far so now you can’t reverse’. Bull shit.  It’s all in the kiss…sometimes the banter, but its really the kiss.

 

YOUR VAGINA IS NOT A DRIVE THRU MCDONALDS.

If homeboy wants a piece he can put some decent time aside.  Even if your fling is casual you are still a human being and you are a treat therefore it’s 3 courses or nothing. Lay down the law baby girl!

 

STOP CALLING THE PARTY YOU ARE GOING TO A ‘FUNCTION’.

‘Last night I went to a work function’ – oh God it sounds lame.

 

DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR AREOLA.

Pluck those fucking errant hairs and put sunscreen on them when you’re sun bathing in the buff.   A beautiful areola is not to be scoffed at.

 

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