Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 112

  1. If you do not have acne prone skin then do not purchase face wash for acne prone skin. It will dry the shit out of it.   So you thought you had a spot here or there and thought you’d take a blow torch to it?  Well good luck with that dry, papery complexion.  You might not have acne but you now look like you have skurvy on your face.
  2. When the dentist tells you that you need a root canal and you tell him to just give you a filling then you will probably need a root canal approximately 14 months later anyway.
  3. The day you wash your car will be the day that it rains.
  4. Mayonnaise makes everything taste better. And so does butter. But if you indulge it means you will never have a flat tummy.
  5. Reading too far into things brings stress, insomnia and depression. Three great reasons to chill the fuck out.
  6. When you need a pick me up, change your desktop picture.
  7. Try tea with no sugar. You will hate it the first time and then not even notice it the second time. Also, it’s a great way to avoid that root canal.
  8. Drink water. Imagine a blender. Now throw a bunch of food into it. Turn it on. Now add water and try. Now imagine thats your digestive system.
  9. Sometimes when you think you’re not an animal person its because you had one bad experience with one asshole dog.  Try again…you’ll remember a time when you were fearless and they were all cute as a button and not out for blood.
  10. You always know what to do.

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