Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 113

  1. Listen to Ella Fitzgerald on sunny days with all the windows open while you clean your house
  2. Passive aggressive social media behaviour is for assholes
  3. Wear less accessories than you did 2 years ago
  4. If you don’t have facebook/twitter/instagram/television then good for you! In fact, GREAT for you! But it’s not some fucking right of passage to the cool club OK? You are not better than the rest of us sheep who are all over these platforms sure, you probably have more time on your hands and less cynical but don’t make people feel shit for being part of something that is actually a pretty great thing if used wisely.  Wait hold up…none of you dickheads will be reading this will you? Oh well…
  5. Look at your instagram photo roll…is every 2nd photograph a selfie?  Even every third? Yeah…people are talking about you and how you love a selfie. Hey man! We all do them! But instagram is the new window to a persons soul in the way that we get to see the world through your eyes…so what you are telling us is that you only see yourself. *thumbs up emoji*
  6. It’s spring! Plant something!
  7. Sushi is fast food and it is healthy! Get over your raw fish phobia because this isn’t the fucking nineties. Sushi is like eating a toasted cheese sandwich nowadays. 
  8. You’re not a DJ. 
  9. I hate to say it but Christmas is near. Plan now! Buy one gift for one person every fortnight then spend your December salary on cocktails and fun times. Yum, mince pies are in the stores did you see that?
  10. Hey Kardashians and Americans in general! It goes ‘I couldn’t care less’ NOT ‘I could care less’ – the latter means you actually give a shit.  

1 Comment on Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 113

  1. Anonymous // 2012-09-27 at 7:18 AM // Reply

    I could care less, but it would be hard.

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