YOU DON’T WANNA BE BRINGING OUT ALL YOUR TRICKS THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE SEX – Easy does it tiger. Why watch the whole show if all the good things happen in the beginning?
TOTES LOOK INTO SOME KIND OF ‘FEM FRESH’ PRODUCT DURING YOUR PERIOD – Why do you even have to be told to sort your life out during these fuck show days? And remember, if you think you’re finished…you probs aren’t. Give it another day before you get back to your normal daily activities.
DON’T CALL SOMEONE WHO IS WAY OLDER THAN YOU ‘MATE’ OR ‘DARLING’ – I seriously wouldn’t blame them if they pistol whipped you hey. I mean fuck, I want to punch those little teens who try to act all pal pal with me. Prolly ’cause I’m jealous of their youth and vitality. But mainly ’cause it’s irritating.
DRINK THAT WHOLE BOTTLE OF RED – It’s good for you.
DO NOT SEND ‘THAT’ MESSAGE – i.e. ‘Why haven’t I heard from you?’ or ‘Why don’t you want to speak to me?’ or ‘Have you been getting all my messages?’ CRINGE! Stop ruining your life. If he likes you it means he’ll think about you which means he’ll message you. Otherwise, let it be. Face facts. It does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with him either. Some things just don’t happen. Welcome to life.