IF YOU FEEL YOU MAY HAVE BEEN ON A SEXUAL CONVEYOR BELT, GET THE HELL OUT – You are better than being a notch on the bed post. If you don’t think so, he won’t think so.
ED HARDY IS THE BRAND OF NUMB NUTS – Stay away from it people. Fuck I don’t know what happens to these brands hey. Like in England, people generally steer clear of the Burburry check print, yet here in Aus the masses are loving it. Unforch, it all boils down to the kind of demographic associated with such branding, and not the brand itself. Because really, is Ed Hardy THAT bad? I have seen many a person sporting a tattoo that would not go amiss on an E.Hardy hoodie slating the Italian vomit label. Burberry was almost single handily brought down by the football hooligan chavvy chavs who did about as much for the labels reputation as Britney Spears does for wholesome living. Thank God they were saved by signing ‘ol Mossy and all was forgiven. It’s pot luck this business. So yeah anyway, just don’t wear Ed fucking Hardy.
WOULD YOU MIND KEEPING YOUR VOICE DOWN IN THE CINEMA? – OK, so you find the movie boring. Go outside and wait for it to end, have a nap, suck your boyfriends dick, go get more popcorn and choke on it, go sneak into another flick…whatever…just shut the hell up!!
DON’T TAKE OFFENCE IF HE SAY’S ‘GOOD GIRL’ DURING SEX – It’s hot. Enjoy it.
NO, NOT EVERYBODY STARTED WEARING BRIGHT LEGGINGS ‘CAUSE YOU DID – And not everyone got their nose pierced because you did, and not everyone started listening to Nick Cave because you did. It’s just because you have decided to do something and therefore begin to notice others doing the same, when you didn’t before. Although, that being said, there are a fair few dirty nasty style biters out there. Eh fuck ’em. Cream always rises.
REMEMBER THAT TIME I TOLD YOU TO DRINK LOADS OF WATER? – You’re still doing it right?