Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway Part 98

IF IN DOUBT, DON’T SEND THAT MESSAGE.

You know that pang in your chest of self doubt when you go to drop the ‘hey’. With ‘pang’ is just a nice, short way of saying ‘put the phone down you desperate whore’.

 

NO YOU DO NOT NEED THE GARLIC BREAD AS WELL.

I know you think you’ve been working hard, or you’ve been stressed, or the guy you’re cruising has been a cunt and you ‘deserve’ it but you are only going to feel worse afterwards. Like WAY worse. Fight the urge to purge! SAY IT WITH ME GIRLS!

 

WITH EVERY MAN YOU ENCOUNTER, YOU ARE TO TEACH THEM SOMETHING NEW.

Do NOT unleash them to the rest of us without telling them they kiss like a wet pop, that your clit is not in your groin, that maybe using teeth on our nipples isn’t ideal, and our ass is only for those that hold the golden ticket.   Man, every time I cop a dude over the age of 25 who dun know what he’s doing I curse the day any female he has ever been with was born!

 

WHEN YOU NEED TO INTRODUCE SOMEONE AND YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THEIR NAME JUST INTRODUCE THE PERSON WHOSE NAME YOU DO KNOW FIRST AND THEN THE OTHER WILL JUST AUTOMATICALLY INTRODUCE THEMSELVES. 

This has a 90% success rate.

 

THE VIETNAMESE GIRLS IN THE NAIL SALON ARE DEFINITELY TALKING ABOUT YOU.

But dude, they are scraping the dead skin off your feet and massaging your hands.  Allow them please.

 

IF YOU MUST SEND NAKED PHOTOS, THEN AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU ARE SENDING ORIGINALS.

Please don’t tell me you have reserve photos in your phone tank to send out to whomever asks PLEASE. Are you actually fucking crazy? Dude. That sucks.  I mean, how would you feel if you got a stock dick photo that like 6 other girls got? Yeah not so good huh? So no face in the shots, no tattoo’s in the shots and delete once sent. It does, after all, become their property. Scary thought.

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