SOMETIMES WE QUESTION OUR EXISTENCE – Would anyone notice if we weren’t around? Would we have to worry about work, whether our family is happy or not, whether we get on our friends nerves or not, are we thin enough, are we doing anything meaningful with our lives …would any of this matter if we weren’t around anymore. What’s the point.
REJECTION – We count on being liked/desired/admired to feel better…to feel worthy. Being rejected is the biggest fear. Why doesn’t he like us? Why don’t they want to be my friend? Why didn’t I get that job? Why have they deleted me from facebook? Why did he check my friend out and not me? All of this causes anxiety and sadness, but mostly, it causes us to be angry and frustrated with ourselves for not being strong enough not to care.
SELF DESTRUCTION – Being promiscuous. Getting drunk. Pretending we are fine by making jokes and laughing at ourselves. Being good actors. Eating too much. Eating too little. Doing more drugs than necessary. Lying to make us appear more interesting. Taking pills to sleep. Taking pills to wake up. Sleeping with the wrong people. Relying on people to make us feel better. Blaming everyone. Blaming ourselves.
ENDING EVERYTHING – By picking fights with our partners/parents/friends. Quitting our jobs. Leaving to go travelling. Leaving to escape. Just leaving …
A little darker than usual, I realise. But I know if I feel this way sometimes then others do. Because I’m not any different to anybody else. We can dress differently, talk differently and be interested in a multitude of different things. But when the fat lady sings, we all just want to be liked. And we all just want to be happy.