FOR BOYS ONLY
IF YOU LIKE A GIRL, THEN DON’T BE HOOKING UP WITH OTHER BROADS – She will find out and your chances will be ruined. RUINED.
SAYING THINGS LIKE ‘SIT ON MY FACE’ OR ‘NICE TITS’ WILL NOT WORK OUT WELL FOR YOU – Actually, I would be VERY interested to know if you have ever said these things to a complete stranger and you got laid…please let me know.
JUST BEING IN A BAND WILL NOT MAKE ALL GIRLS FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU – So you have a mediocre job, smoke weed all day and night, are drunk most of the time, sex text other birds and never take a shower….oh but you’re in band you say? Well in that case…
PLEASE KEEP YOUR TOP ON AT MUSIC FESTIVALS – I don’t care how long you have worked on your tan and pecs…but the whole top off thing is incredibly self indulgent. We can tell the difference between someone that is genuinely feeling the heat and needs to remove some clothing, and those that are prancing around like little narcissistic peacocks…emphasis on the word ‘cocks’.
OF COURSE WE LOVE THE TASTE OF YOUR MAN JUICE … – Don’t you?