DON’T EAT THAT WHOLE BLOCK OF CHOCOLATE
Just don’t do it. You will hate yourself afterwards. You know you will. Minute on the lips, lifetime on the hips.
DON’T BE MEAN TO BOYS AND THEN GET UPSET WHEN THEY RETALIATE
Guys get a bad rep for being douche bags, but there a lot of young ladies out there who treat the good guys like toilet paper. Usually, behind every ‘bad dude’ lies a broken heart. But don’t completely let your guard down, because there are also many that ARE just wankers.
EMPTY YOUR BIN BEFORE IT STARTS TO SMELL
Don’t be a filthy slag.
‘ANIMAL’ BY MIIKE SNOW WILL ALWAYS CHEER YOU UP
Song of joy.
FAKE TAN THOSE LEGS
Brown legs are the sexiest things in summer. St Tropez is the best brand – hands down. Be sure to exfoliate first and so what if they aren’t skinny? Had a look at Beyonce lately? It’s all about the junk schweetie.
CALL YOUR MUM RIGHT NOW AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER
She’ll bloody love it, and one day, you’ll be glad you did.
ONCE A MONTH, PICK AN OLD FRIEND TO EMAIL
It’s kinda theraputic to tell them what you’ve been up to. It will also cheer you up to realise how much you have been doing with your life…or depressing if you have been sitting on your ass being a beige loser. Come now, put the chocolate down, fake tan your legs, put on Miike Snow and plan an outing this weekend. Then next week, email that mate and tell her/him all about it.