FOR BOYS ONLY
WE ARE MORE MANIPULATIVE THAN YOU CAN EVER BEGIN TO IMAGINE
It all started when your mum told you that eating all your carrots will make you see in the dark. Or when she made ‘choo choo’ noises with your food and pretended the brussel sprout was a train and your mouth the tunnel. Wherever you look, there is a female ‘innocently’ convincing you to do something. Some of you turn into cunts and become uber defiant and others doormats. My only advice is for you to know your enemy and pick your arguments.
DON’T OVER DO THE EMOTICONS IN YOUR TEXT MESSAGES
It is SUCH a clit killer dude. Like srsly. Also, if you want the text convo to become a sext convo, then build up to it. Don’t be all Seedy Mcgee after just 3 messages.
I DON’T KNOW WHY SOME OF YOU ARE WEARING TOP KNOTS AND HANDBAGS BUT I HOPE IT FUCKING ENDS SOON.
IF YOU CAN’T GET IT UP, ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL
The cringe part is when you make a big deal out of it. It happens! Chill the fuck out. Lay back. Play with her pussy. Stop thinking about it so much. Don’t let your brain have all the blood that your dick needs. Sometimes we fanny fart and sometimes you can’t get a stiff breeze. It’s Gods way of showing us we’re only human.
PLEASE DON’T ORDER HOT CHOCOLATE WHEN YOU GO OUT FOR COFFEE WITH A GIRL
It is BEYOND lame. I know some people don’t like coffee (its embarrassing) but please don’t smear salt in the decaffeinated wounds by ordering hot chocolate. Order tea rather if you really can’t handle the bean but hot chocolate drinkers who are dudes that hide behind calling it ‘lets go out for coffee’ probably listen to James Blunt and/or Coldplay.