SOMETIMES WE QUESTION OUR EXISTENCE – Would anyone notice if we weren’t around? Would we have to worry about work, whether our family is happy or not, whether we get on our friends nerves or not, are we thin enough, are we doing anything meaningful with our lives …would any of this matter if we weren’t around anymore. What’s the point.

REJECTION – We count on being liked/desired/admired to feel better…to feel worthy. Being rejected is the biggest fear. Why doesn’t he like us? Why don’t they want to be my friend? Why didn’t I get that job? Why have they deleted me from facebook? Why did he check my friend out and not me? All of this causes anxiety and sadness, but mostly, it causes us to be angry and frustrated with ourselves for not being strong enough not to care.

SELF DESTRUCTION – Being promiscuous. Getting drunk. Pretending we are fine by making jokes and laughing at ourselves. Being good actors. Eating too much. Eating too little. Doing more drugs than necessary. Lying to make us appear more interesting. Taking pills to sleep. Taking pills to wake up. Sleeping with the wrong people. Relying on people to make us feel better. Blaming everyone. Blaming ourselves.

ENDING EVERYTHING – By picking fights with our partners/parents/friends. Quitting our jobs. Leaving to go travelling. Leaving to escape. Just leaving …

A little darker than usual, I realise. But I know if I feel this way sometimes then others do. Because I’m not any different to anybody else. We can dress differently, talk differently and be interested in a multitude of different things. But when the fat lady sings, we all just want to be liked. And we all just want to be happy.

7 Comments on THOSE DAYS

  1. I'm feeling oddly dark today too. It's strange.

  2. I'm sort of (twisted, non) glad that you're in a "dark mood", because it means that we receive the benefit of all of your dark time ponderings.

    Murky Buckets (that's Australian for "merci beaucoup")

  3. self destruction…i have done all of that. i'm not proud, but atleast we can be honest right. thanks for all your honesty tam, you not alone with your thoughts….love you xx

  4. All of that is so true. I've defintely been there.

    But yeah, I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm having a little holiday giveaway on my blog :)


  5. Anonymous // 2009-12-05 at 9:48 PM // Reply

    we are all one and we all share the same emotions, yet so often we feel alone. it is so awaking to one day realize that even thou we are born to deal with ourselves on our own, we all feel the same.

  6. I take your advice and Rescue Remedy. Between the two of you, I can soldier on.

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