It’s always a tricky one talking religion and/or politics because the chances are there will be someone present who is not only ignorant but also a robot. Ignorant robots are the worst of the worst because they just absorb popular opinion and popular opinion is usually fed down from a ‘world leader’ who, for whatever intents and purpose, has an agenda. One thing that most politicians have in common is certainly not any form of integrity or ability to instil action that is the right action appropriate to the whole, but rather the (admittedly) breath taking ability to manipulate the masses with precise, calculated action that is nothing but words resembling wolves dressed up in sheep’s clothing. These wooly politicians with their butter-wouldn’t-melt speeches and public service announcements are, quite frankly, taking the piss.

Look, let’s not front. It is perfectly understandable for people to be a little weary of another human when you cannot see their face. I get it. But this has nothing to do with intolerance of another’s religion, this has to do with having to live in a warped society where it is becoming increasingly difficult to trust thy neighbour when thy neighbour may not be who they say they are. Literally anyone could be underneath there and we would be none the wiser. Remember in 2008 when they banned people from wearing hoodies in public places in the UK? The reasoning was simple: They wanted to catch the naughty little shits on camera which is impossible to do if said face is covered up by a Reebok hoodie. But if you are going to ban the burqa in public places, you kind of need to add the balaclava as well. Or anything that covers your face really. Maybe lets start with those fascinators favoured by punters at the Melbourne Cup. But isn’t it just so coincidental and not to mention predictable that a resurge in pointing fingers at Islam and it’s traditions happens during a time when the West are sending their Super Hornet Jets to the Middle East?

To be fair, it is more acceptable for a woman to be seen in public in Australia wearing a burqa than to be seen in public in Saudi Arabia wearing a bikini. I mean, you might as well just take your own bucket of stones as an accessory. Yes. It’s fucked. Religious fundamentalism is male dominated and they maketh the rules. Fighting intolerance with intolerance and expecting to produce tolerance is a practice best reserved for royal idiots. To think of the women underneath all that cloth as a victim is just defining yourself as that ignorant robot that needs some kind of substance to back your misinformed, regurgitated views that are spun out of hate and do nothing but shine the light on your cognitive imbalance. Sorry for all the big words.

During my time in the early 2000’s working in luxury fashion on London’s Bond Street, I have been privy to the shopping habits of Saudi royalty and let me tell you, there is a lot going on underneath all of that fabric. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and I saw many a soul that gave the impression of a sexy minx. The eyes were kohl lined and Princess Jasmine shaped. The thick black cloth covering everything else was heavy and heady with pure perfume that hung in the air like the most seductive incense you have ever had a whiff of and edged with Swarovski crystals.  The lingerie department was a hot favourite. Nothing was tried on and delicate little lacy triangles of fabric and g-strings were chosen in every colour and by the dozen. These women were incredibly decisive and had distinctive taste. They knew what they liked and, just like I see everyday in David Jones, the husbands were carrying the shopping bags.

I’m not about to write a 723 word essay professing any kind of knowledge on the complexities of Islam or the mandatory attire the women are expected to wear. Each to their own, I say. It’s not like Catholic nuns are walking around with their tits out. But banning people from following protocol in a country where they have a choice is just whack and not short of being a bully. It’s a bit rich when the government of a country that is known for dropping the word ‘c*nt’ more often than the term ‘Bless You’ tries to establish themselves as the moral high round. Who do we think we are ‘banning’ shit anyway? If you ask me, this is an attempt for white, ignoramus, robotic hypocritical men to emasculate other ignoramus, robotic hypocritical men through female identity and our place in society. In a nutshell, it’s God damn patronising. Go ban your mum.

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